sinnesspiel | Shiki Novel Translations 2.10.6

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Shiki Novel Translations 2.10.6

While fighting with a strange sense of intimidation, Natsuno quietly filled his notebook. He'd long since given up studying vocab or tangling with math drills. With that something outside the window putting a strange pressure of sorts on him, he couldn't focus on his work. Like this with his attention focused outside the window, he had just been absently transcribing the names of historical words and names.

It his hand were able to remember what it was writing that'd be fine. He thought that while moving his hand, suddenly noticing that in the sidelines of his notebook the words "Tohru" and "Shimizu" appeared. He erased them each time but the name that appeared more frequently was overwhelmingly "Shimizu." And as time stretched on, the difference grew more pronounced.

He remembered feeling like this---like he currently did, like he was under a bizarre surveillance. He also thought he knew the source of it. But, Megumi should have been dead. That she was sealed away in a coffin wasn't something Natsuno confirmed with his own eyes but she should have been made up like Tohru and buried in the ground.

But, someone was outside the window. From the darkness they were looking at the window---at Natsuno. Through the curtain, at Natsuno's shadow, fixedly staring at that.

After erasing "Shimizu" who knew how many times, he gave up on that and took out the post card from his holder case. Natsuno had an emotion he couldn't understand. The letters and the picture, all of it looked like it was trying not to be self-serving while contrastingly overflowing with self-appeal. It looked to maintain an appropriately formal distance but it was blatantly getting closer. There was nothing written aside from words about the lingering summer heat. Nonetheless, there was an all too clear intent of the sender there even if unwrit, so clear that it betrayed her true feelings. ---That defined Megumi, he realized.

It was the same now. Obvious surveillance. But the observer hid themselves, it was clear they were trying to hide themselves. That much was just too obvious, so instead it only made him more certain he was being watched.

(......Shimizu.)

But, there was no way.

Natsuno stood up. He opened the curtain and the window. The light from within the room flowed outside but the darkness between the tree trunks and thickets only grew darker. And an obvious gaze. Someone was in that darkness---and he was confident he was being watched from somewhere not far off.

Natsuno surveyed the darkness. He couldn't see anyone. It's not that no one was there but just that he couldn't see them. The other could see Natsuno. Without a doubt they were watching.

He didn't turn towards the darkness and demand who they were, nor did he have a mind to. Staying silent, Natsuno held out the post card in one hand. To be sure it was visible in the light, he slowly turned it over with his fingertips several times. He had the feeling he could hear someone nearby gasping for breath. And, the faint sound of someone moving about.

The gaze was strong. He had such a feeling. Thinking such he moved the post card from the right hand holding it to the left. Slowly, doing it so that his observer could see, he tore at the corner of it. Again, a faint noise.

With both hands he tore the postcard a second time and a third. Once it was in tiny scraps, he threw them outside of the window. The white scraps of paper danced, literal confetti, raining down in the darkness.

Surveying the darkness--their hiding place, Natsuno closed the window. Closing the curtain he returned to his desk and listened intently. There was a faint noise. This time it was too obvious. The sound of underbrush swaying, someone's footsteps. They were coming directly closer to the window.

---Here.

Someone was there outside the window, and that somebody let out a soft voice. The voice that didn't convey any meaning sounded both like a very faint wail, and like a muffled outburst of a sob.

The soft sounds continued. Almost like a small animal was scurrying about on the earth. Right now if he stood up, if he opened the curtain, he had the feeling he would see them. They wouldn't be able to hide themselves fast enough, he felt. Natsuno bore out the temptation to do it. He didn't know why. He had a feeling he must not see it. He must not peek outside.

That may have been because he thought there was something forbidden that existed outside of that window, or possibliy that he was just plain afraid of what he would see. He had the feeling if he saw it he couldn't go back, and at the same time if he saw it he would be disappointed. And in his depths, what Natsuno truly feared was that he wouldn't see anything at all.

And if he were to throw open the curtain so quickly they would have no chance to hide? He didn't think that it would have any immediate impact. What was scary was being suspended between recognizing that there was something there he couldn't see and the recognizing it as something merely hiding.

He listened closely and bore it. The presence outside of the window crept about in the area and at last passed. Natsuno returned to the tasks in his notebook but as expected his hand kept bringing about the word "Shimizu" when he wasn't attentive.

The next morning, not having gotten much sleep, Natsuno went out into the back yard. In the faint blue light, the earth with sparse weeds was black. There there were two or three white droppings. When he picked them up, they were pieces of the psotcard.

He could only find three fragments. Any fragments beyond that were nowhere to be seen.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Whoa whoa there Natsuno, are you asking to be killed?

I'd say that it's a reckless move. Even if I didn't know about the supernatural entities, I wouldn't have done that. That's why Natsuno is made a protagonist in the manga and anime I suppose, because he's very brave and cool and all action and... Still young.

I know right! He's just knowingly taunting whoever's outside, he really is a good main protagonist if you're looking for someone to keep the story moving. It fits with his character cause he's so confrontational, but then that lack of judgment shows his immaturity as well.

He's definitely a curious kind of character, his arc is really intriguing and I really enjoy it! I overall enjoy him as a character. And since the manga/anime is shounen, he's definitely the most viable option as a protagonist amongst the teenagers in Shiki. That Ryuuzaki-sensei decided to turn Shiki, a mature/adult book, into a shounen manga is perhaps because shounen genre is more of his forte and it sells more. (Shiki becomes even more action-packed, while the books are more about introspections, human interactions and morals) Toshio and Seishin are definitely too old to be protagonists there.

Seishin is the books' protagonist, but even he's a rare kind of protagonist, I think. Perhaps if Toshio is made a protagonist, people will like it more. Not everyone is able to relate to Seishin. Shiki is, I think, a story about Seishin's self-discovery and change, fabricated by a story about a dying village invaded by supernatural entities. Shiki contains little arcs about other people, as participants in the whole ordeal, but it's mainly centered around Seishin. Perhaps that's why Toshio is also present a lot, because he's one of the biggest influence to Seishin's life, as a person who matters the most. The story eventually leads to their clashing and separation, because it's one of the keypoints to Seishin's change and arc. Toshio is the deuteragonist, I think.

I don't really like Natsuno's personality, but he is an interesting character to watch. Seishin and Toshio /are/ too old, but they're drawn pretty young! True, most of their chapters involve introspection that can't very well be translated into an anime/manga, especially a shounen one. Ozaki is more action than Seishin, and it would be impossible to cut out the medical part of the story entirely, so I think that's why he has a biiit more screentime than Seishin. Natsuno really pushes things forward, like by aggravating Megumi here. So then the focus is Natsuno, then Toshio, then Seishin; but even if they cut the last two out a little, they still become really memorable characters in the anime! Or else they wouldn't have so many fans.

It does look like Seishin's the central character of the work, if only because he's the one that undergoes the most change throughout. At first, he's a meek, depressed monk that doesn't really know what he's doing, but several months later, he's a werewolf priest that proactively kills Ohkawa! And it seems that he's finally found what he was looking for. I'd even say that Shiki is also a story of how friends come and go; Seishin starts off as having Ozaki as a best friend, and the 'infectious disease' is a catalyst towards them realizing how decreasingly compatible they are. As Toshio starts to understand Seishin less and less, Sunako starts understanding him MORE, becoming his new best friend. In the end I think Ozaki and Seishin still think fondly of each other not because they still like each other's personalities but because they have memories of themselves liking the other's personality, and that kind of thing is hard to let go of.

I definitely disagree with him a lot too, I'll probably avoid someone like him in real life... but just like with all Shiki's characters, there are always some things to learn from him and his arc, I really like that.

Wouldn't really trust Seishin to move things forward. He's pretty slow and he serves more as a introspection side of Shiki. (it really escapes me how slow he could become, how detached he is -- almost like a part of his self is asleep somewhere) His arcs are more about introspecting than action. Even many of his chapters aren't even village-related, especially his and Sunako's chapters. Usually I need to reread them over and over to understand what they really are about, they are that difficult. Unlike most characters whose arcs are closely tied to the village matters, I got the feeling that Seishin's arcs are mostly standalone -- them being mostly his introspection about lots of things which aren't usually village-related. Like he has his own plot which has nothing to do with village matters. He's so detached from the village that it feels like he's a separate entity already.

I wish for more introspective chapters from Toshio's side, actually, since I want to know what he thinks about. But the lack of it may be because he's not that much of an introspective person to begin with. He's certainly more of an action person. Well, he already has so much on his plate, he couldn't be expected to sit down contemplating about life and such. That's more of Seishin's forte.

Hmm, I wouldn't say that Seishin has finally found what he's been looking for though (I could be wrong, still. That being said I'm looking forward to more of his chapters to analyze). But then, I actually don't really get the newly-turned-Jinrou Seishin. He's changed so incredibly much in such short time that it's hard for me to follow, when he's already particularly hard to analyze when he was still our usual meek monk. This is mostly gut feeling though; I think he's still bound to feel quite discontent somewhere. According to theories going around about the manga and anime, Seishin turns himself in to Kanemasa as a form of suicide. (He even lets Sunako and Tatsumi feed on him repeatedly -- no sane person would even do that, even if Sunako and Tatsumi don't intend to kill him) Well, at this point it looks to me that he pretty much has lost a sense of self, that he's lost directions. That he's even less sure now, when he already wasn't sure before. But whatever it is going back to Toshio's side is definitely out of question too, because if he does that that means he's completely thrown away his own values, and that's just so unbecoming of people like him. He still disagrees a lot with Toshio. And he probably thinks that they've separated completely, they couldn't go back to the way they were, that what they have couldn't be mended. (well, from what I see, the 'Moral Horizon' part is a much bigger deal to Seishin than it is to Toshio) at this point Seishin probably doesn't care much if he dies. (he even said to Sunako: "Too bad it (the novel) won't be completed.") part of him even perhaps looks forward to it... either die in Shikis' hands or perhaps even in enraged villagers' hands. So being turned into a Jinrou is definitely not in his agenda. He expects to die, but instead he gets turned into a superhuman. After that... well, he pretty much looks to me like a child throwing tantrum, killing Ohkawa like that. He doesn't care anymore. And is him rescuing Sunako a form of doing what Tatsumi pleaded on him, or is it his own selfishness to not let Sunako die? The theories going around lean more on the latter.

One thing that I find interesting about Toshio and Seishin's relationship is, the lack of animosity between them, even after all that happened. Toshio perhaps feels somewhat disheartened, but he certainly doesn't hold this against Seishin. (he actually doesn't begrudge anyone who wish to leave his side, so perhaps it's in his character) he still shows some degree of caring towards Seishin's wellbeing. Their bond is pretty much the thing that is there as it is, I doubt both parties even question about it much. About why they get close to one another at the first place.(Seishin perhaps thinks about it more, as a person who has sought him out a lot since their childhood, who dedicates a good portion of his time for him) About liking each other's personality, I'm not sure, since they are so different I don't think that there's actually many of each other's qualities they find they are able to like, specifically from Toshio's view: He finds Seishin's idealistic nature annoying, but that idealism is pretty much what defines Seishin as a person the most. Toshio still likes him though. I figure he likes him not because of how he is, what kind of a person he is -- but he likes him because he just does. They're almost like family/siblings, perhaps. Could be something formed by lifelong friendship, them sticking to each other is a habitual thing. Them being together is a form of regularity, a constant thing that brings contentment. Toshio could also like Seishin because with him Toshio usually is able to get his way.

While for Seishin, he's a natural follower. Around a commanding presence like Toshio, Seishin naturally tags along. That's probably the start of their relationship. Seishin perhaps finds Toshio more admirable than Toshio does him, and is more willing to accept his more disagreeable side than Toshio does him. An almost unconditional love, perhaps. Why this, though? Well... he just does. From what I see, Seishin is also a person who's able to understand and relate to people about where they come from, perhaps more than some people. For a person who wonders a lot about humanity like him, it's not that strange in my opinion. That's why in the 'Seishin-seme' chapter it's shown that he's not mad about how Toshio is becoming, because he understand where he comes from. He's able to get it. When you understand where people come from, it usually becomes harder to dislike or stay angry towards them. Seishin is accepting by nature. I think Seishin likes Toshio because not only he's an accepting person that he's willing to accept his bad side, he loves him because he just does.

The reason I said that Seishin's found what he was looking for is because I felt like he was so...(I don't want to say 'slow-witted' because he's not, but what I mean is that he's slow to react, always trails in Toshio's wake, always doubting himself throughout the novel)...dis-attached because he hadn't defined his purpose in life yet. But what was he even looking for?

The most obvious answer that jumps out at me is that he feels out of place because he's a Buddhist monk and has his own belief, somewhat apart from what his religion says. His anger at the village shunning the family with a new religion seems to echo that he has his own different beliefs, and he thinks that everyone is welcome to their own. Seishin already hates being tied down to his village job, but being the head of a religion he doesn't really believe in makes him more alone and depressed.

Since he found Sunako, and after every chapter that he talks to her, Seishin seems a little bit more proactive and sure of himself. Not proactive like aggressively helping Ozaki fight the disease, but proactive in that he stops trying to act the role of the monk and a supportive friend, little by little. Before he met Sunako, would he have lashed out against Ozaki for keeping the disease to himself? Actually, maybe he would---but probably not in such a confident way; he just seemed like done with everyone's crap. He didn't care about appearances anymore, he wanted to dispel Toshio's bullshit.

So then if Seishin keeps getting more confident after talking to Sunako, his behavior towards Ohkawa is more natural because he's now more self-assured, supposedly. He found someone to understand him (Sunako) when he realized that Toshio could not. That could arguably be the reason he went to Kanemasa; I think it was right after Ozaki said he was going to wipe out the Shiki and that just went so much against Seishin's morals that I feel that something just snapped inside him and he realized that Toshio, his last tie to the village where nobody understood him, didn't understand him either. So then he went to Kanemasa because Sunako in there could understand him, and if she potentially didn't and he died, so be it.

But in that case, it seems like Ozaki was the one who was anchoring Seishin to life; once their bond snapped, he went to Kanemasa, to 'death' right away. Perhaps Seishin was inspired by Ozaki's can-do attitude toward life and wanted to be like him. Toshio accepted his village doctor position more readily than Seishin, so he might've thought "well, if my best friend can do his best with the circumstances given to him, then I can too!". Consequently, Ozaki might be the reason for Seishin being depressed, thinking he might not measure up. It happens in real life too, when friends think that their friends are doing so well, and they don't need them, or they're dragging them down. Seishin going around interviewing family members of the deceased could be his way of trying to help Ozaki and not make him do everything on his own, for once. (Even worse, Seishin would've been absolutely crushed when Ozaki told him that his findings were of no help to him).

I think that just cause they don't have anything in common, doesn't mean that they can't be friends--opposites attract and all that. For instance, Ozaki notes that Seishin is an idealist, implying that Ozaki himself is not. But you can still feel the appreciation that Ozaki holds for Seishin; so it's like, in my opinion, that someone can admire others' qualities that they themselves don't have. A good friendship isn't only enjoying things you both love, but also sharing you opposite traits with each other and both growing as people by learning from one another. That's kinda how I see Seishin and Ozaki's relationship; at first from when they were kids, I feel like they did have a lot of things in common, but as they grew older they found that they did not, but chose to accept it nevertheless. However, some differences were too big to overcome, hence the final blowout by the graveyard. But like you say, I still think that they understand each other, even if their differences are so great; therefore, they're not mad at each other because they know where the other is coming from, and can part on peaceful terms.

Thank you for the explanation; you've opened my eyes. You proposed some really interesting ideas there. But in that case it really seems like Seishin has really come to depend on Sunako emotionally; when he has problems, for example in this -- when Seishin and Toshio finally clash and it seems like there's no way back, Sunako is the one he seeks out for. Perhaps that scene could be translated as this too.

Yes, that I do agree -- it seems like in a way, Toshio is his anchor. Or was. And now that he's finally lost that anchor, he finds the replacement in Sunako. Perhaps that's why he goes to such great lengths to rescue her, even denying her wish to just burn to death. Is it just because of Tatsumi's wish? Probably not. Seishin is detached, but it seems like he's not very 'independent' emotionally as a person in this case? People who find their purpose through other people, I think Seishin is sort of like this too, well, dunno. Perhaps he's a person who ultimately wish for someone or a group of people he can connect with, can get close with. But for everyone, when they've managed to find people who can understand them, logically they wouldn't let go of them so easily.
And that Seishin has finally found answers to several things; yes, most of them are thanks to Sunako. One thing Sunako got wrong about him is apparently his idealism. (one thing Seishin happens to be most sure of) But actually, I think he's actually got the glimpses of answers -- but those are like puzzle pieces, a jumbled mess. Sunako helps him arrange them, forming a clear picture. Even if perhaps those answers have always been there and he kind of notices that, he cannot ultimately get them until Sunako helps pointing those out to his face.

All in all, I'm happy that Seishin has finally untied himself from the village, even if he doesn't find the price thrilling at all. But nah, poor Sunako. She'd probably be happier in death... Dunno.

When we put it that way, it really seems that Sunako is a better companion for Seishin, haha.

Just popping in for a consideration in the conversation. Re: would Seishin have been so forward in disagreeing with Ozaki, if not for Sunako? I'm going to actually go with "Yes." Seishin is established as having been, and having felt the duty to be Toshio's breaks, at least when it matters. The narrative also suggests Toshio is not actually surprised by this aspect of him, in so much as it's not new. It's a surprise in that he still doesn't understand it, but it definitely highlighted it as calling to mind a certain nihilistic side of Seishin he had thought about before.

Enjoying the talk and speculation! It really makes it appreciate the character drama when you make a hypothesis about how they feel and see if later narrative supports or detracts.

At this point of conversation I felt like being punched in the gut though, in all honesty, because perhaps Seishin/Sunako are really meant to be. (perhaps not in the best way, but canon means canon) I contemplated between sobbing or laughing (because of the irony of the situation) as I typed my last reply.

Yay please join in! Want to hear your opinions as well. All I have been doing is pretty much throwing in random ideas and speculations, but I tend to forget canon stuffs, like what happens in certain scenes. I'm also not systematical... Airlynx is thankfully more systematical. You are too, as well as objective. I sometimes get afraid of being too biased...

Aww, I didn't mean to verbally punch you! ;_; I know the feeling of being hit by a canon. But one of the good things about reading such a deep series like Shiki is that you can interpret it however you like. One could even find an argument for Seishin actually hating Sunako, such as that since he thinks killing is wrong (he even leaves Ozaki because he intended to go on what was more or less a killing spree) then Sunako must seem like the worst kind of monster in his eyes. Maybe the reason he brought her with him was because he couldn't bring himself to kill her, but he wanted to make sure that she wouldn't go creating more Sotobas in the future. Maybe he hates himself so much that he thinks he isn't good for anything other than sheltering a murderer. I dunno; Shiki's so great because you can speculate so much!

What you said about Seishin knowing the answers himself but just having to put them all together, I agree completely. Every time that Sunako talks to him, I get the distinct image of a teacher walking a student through a math problem. She's like the therapist he should have had when he attempted suicide, helping him sort through his feelings and in the end, he stops criminalizing himself for them and accepts himself. With that self-acceptance, he can also gain the kind of confidence and independence that he was missing throughout the novel.

'Dependent' I think is the word to define Seishin; he's dependent on Ozaki, dependent on his position as Junior Monk (although he wants to leave, he can't because it's all he knows), dependent on Sunako as the story progresses. Maybe his part of the story is about he breaks all those shackles and becomes more independent. When he leaves Ozaki is also the moment when he breaks the shackles that tie him to the doctor; he's still his friend at this point, but he doesn't depend on him. As the villagers kill off the temple staff, that's also breaking his ties to the temple. And the final scene where he's talking to Sunako in the abandoned church is like an ironic echo back to all those times when she talked to him about his troubles. Unlike before, he's the one reassuring her now, sorting out her feelings and urging her to not give up. There, he also arguably breaks his dependence on Sunako because they're more equals now.

I think your analyses are really introspective and interesting! They don't read like random ideas at all. And you really got me going on my analyses too.

@ sinnesspiel, ...Ack, I had forgotten that Ozaki's used to it. I wish we had gotten an argument between them somewhere toward the beginning of the story so we had something to compare this one too. I'm looking forward to the Big Argument (when Seishin leaves for good, good riddance lol) so that we can compare that one to this one. I got the impression that with all this tension in the village, Seishin's real-life nihilistic self is breaking through his priest facade, and he's becoming more assertive. Can we even say that his aggressive lecture to Ozaki is our first glimpse of how he will be at the end of the book? The lecture he gives Sunako about being apart from God kind of has nihilistic overtones too.

Ayy thank you! And yes, you should totally go on analyses too! Your analyses got me into thinking more, what I love the most. And your explanations are systematical and detailed, that really helps!

You know, I reread chapter 0.5 (prologue/aftermath) last night and... Seishin looks really cold, distant and emotionless there. Kind of remind me of that Seishin-seme chapter, where he's shown to be mad. I then thought: perhaps angry Seishin = cold, emotionless Seishin. He also looks like he doesn't care anymore, like in that Seishin-seme chapter where he verbally attacks Toshio, even when he usually hates doing that. People like that are perhaps scarier than people who openly throw tantrum when they're angered, I'd hate to be on his bad side. Seishin has to be really, really displeased. Will he stay displeased forever? I don't even want to think about that. (that would be scary)

And wow, you proposed more interesting ideas. About Seishin who's perhaps depressed, who perhaps hates himself. Who hasn't completely accepted himself yet. Even though he said that he didn't actually hate himself, well... But one thing about Seishin is he isn't even sure about lots of stuffs, and this is perhaps one thing he hasn't noticed yet (he's amazingly slow when it comes to his own self, he is a jumbled mess because he feels quite a lot at once but rather incomplete and disorganized) and depression is like a silent killer. One of his main theme is even 'why did I attempt suicide?' and in the end he's come to the answer that he's in despair, so that's probably it. He likely doesn't even know that he's been depressed. And he tends to hide things too, because there's no one he can talk to, until Sunako.

There's a raging war inside Seishin: He would like to stay true to himself, but he can't just do this -- he has duties and such. That's all he knows, like you said, and perhaps at the same time he wants to stay true to himself, he also wish to stay with the norms, with the typical/standard. His initial type, that is. Perhaps he's quite the servant of people-type too. From how I see it he's not quite the type who challenges himself a lot -- quite the type who likes to be in comfortable zone/what he's used to. Perhaps he's even the type who keeps a certain image in the society -- at least he hates showing his negative side/the side which will be immediately disliked. (because in my opinion he kind of guards himself a lot) And he's not strong enough to break free just yet, even the supposedly more rebellious Toshio cannot break free from the village, he even felt pressured enough to get married. Certainly not pressured enough to have children, though. (but in a way Seishin is perhaps more rebellious, as he doesn't even get married)

Haaah, thanks! ;u; In that case, I'll keep the analyses coming! I think the best discussions are those that help both parties think more and develop their own ideas, rather than agreeing on one concrete concept.

I've heard somewhere that when people are angry, their true selves come out. Not saying that their furious, yelling persona is the real them, but perhaps it has more to do with how they get angry. A person who absolutely loses it shows that he is immature and unable to rein in their own emotions. So I like the idea that cold Seishin = angry Seishin. When Seishin is truly angry at Ozaki for keeping the problem to himself, all facades are put away and he is cold and brutal as a knife when he verbally cuts his best friend (forgive the figurative language lol) Even Ozaki notes something like, 'is this really what you are like, Seishin?' even though he's gotten that impression of him in the past. In fact, Ozaki is probably one of the only ones Seishin has shown that side to because he's the only one that Seishin does not owe anything to. His mother and father, he doesn't want to disappoint them, so he pretends to be a nice priest. He doesn't want to disappoint the villages either, so he pretends to be a nice priest too. But Ozaki's been his friend since they were kids, and perhaps he feels it's useless to pretend anything because Ozaki already knows. (But it's increasingly obvious that he doesn't actually have a clue about Seishin, so maybe he just knows more than any other individual) Maybe Mikiyasu Yasumori also knew Seishin almost as well? Unless there's some flashbacks, we'll never know. But that might also be a reason why Seishin hangs around Ozaki; he's the only one he really doesn't owe anything to, and maybe he feels like he'll go insane if that's taken away. Once Sunako's in the picture, he starts needing this crutch less and less, so it's easier for him to make the final break at the end.

I feel like Seishin's introspective...yet he's guilty about feeling introspective sometimes? Perhaps he feels like something's wrong with him, because his role is to be the Junior Monk; why should he even want anything else? Look at what his village has given him; a good position and a beautiful environment; so he'd say "do I really have the right to be this unhappy?" Unlike Ozaki, he can't admit to himself how much he wants to get out and rebel. His own act of rebellion, not getting married like you said, is maybe not intentional, but it is important nonetheless because it shows his reluctance to fully settle into this role.

Seishin is a passive individual; but that doesn't mean he's a bad character. It makes him more relatable, too. It's too easy for the reader to say, "Seishin is weak because he's not fully outspoken like Ozaki". Well, he is still a good, developed character even if he does have flaws, like a real person. Most people can't be 'fully outspoken like Ozaki', like in real life, either. Seishin isn't fully outspoken like Ozaki because he's not Ozaki. He has a different history, different temperament, different worldview, stuff that makes people what they are. It would be foolish to expect him to be the same, and to label him as weak because it's not. Most people in real life like to be in their comfort zone, and although this has a bad connotation it is true. And sometimes doing that lets them have an easier life, since they have less opposition and are more likely to be relaxed and less stressed out, which are GOOD things.

However, it can be argued that Seishin as a person is not passive, his real self. He may have been acting passive because he didn't know what he wanted or accepted himself, but once he DOES, with the help of Sunako, you can say that his true nature shines through and he becomes more assertive.

Hmm. Seishin tends to hide things -- his true self included -- and I think this extends to even from Toshio. Most of himself anyway. That's why Toshio expresses some surprise when Seishin (unintentionally) unleashes his 'true' self. I've said in the past that Toshio perhaps knew about Seishin a lot more than we gave him a credit for, but now with how book one turned out... Even I've doubted my own statement. It seems that Toshio actually knows so little about Seishin, other people even more so. I doubt his parents know a lot about him, even. Because he guards himself a lot, and that 'Seishin-seme' chapter is a rare occasion of him snapping, as if possessed. I noticed the way he apologizes afterwards to Toshio for 'verbally attacking' him, like he's ashamed of himself for snapping at Toshio, even if that's kinda needed at that time. Even Toshio doesn't mind. Seishin doesn't need to apologize to that extent, but he still does. That's why Toshio didn't say anything regarding his suicide issue, because I think he didn't even know about him that much to make some approach. But perhaps it's also because he felt like he couldn't recognize him anymore, that time. Perhaps the Seishin he knows isn't even the actual him all along? Perhaps even Toshio has thought of this.

Seishin feels like he needs to be that 'perfect person', that 'perfect priest', for the villagers, for his parents, for Toshio. (whether he fully realizes or not) And it's saddening that all of this actually opposes his real desire. (though he perhaps hasn't fully found what his real desire is) With Toshio though... Sinnesspiel's analyses is that Seishin can be seen as harboring certain feelings for Toshio. Could be said as love, perhaps even. Whatever it is, it makes Toshio on the another level of being special to him. In a way, Toshio seems very exclusive to him. It wouldn't be weird if Seishin desires even more to be 'perfect' for him.

About the marriage thing, I just realized that Toshio felt even more pressured perhaps because his own parents were naturally even more pressuring. Seishin's own parents perhaps are as mild mannered as him, not to mention his father also had a late marriage. That's good for him, actually.

I definitely agree; of all characters in Shiki, I find I can relate the most with Seishin, I think. Obviously there are differences, but it's enough to make him my most favorite character. It makes me genuinely care about him -- not only as a character, but also as a person. And I also cherish his relationship with Toshio a lot. I really like that when Seishin seeks him out, Toshio accepts. (mostly anyway (?)) I like that even if Toshio disagrees a lot with him, he still respects him as a person, not only as a junior monk. I think it's quite a great deal that even if Toshio doesn't actually know Seishin, and that it actually makes him somewhat uncomfortable, he still accepts him as a pretty exclusive being 'best friend'.

Their relationship is a curious one too. At first glance it looks more to me that Seishin is the one nurturing their bond; by being more active and all, the one who gives -- while Toshio is the one who accepts, who's passive, who ultimately gets spoiled. But now I have to wonder if one of reasons of Toshio being the passive one is because he doesn't even know Seishin. One might say that 'Toshio doesn't try hard enough to learn about him', which is perhaps also part of the problem, but it's kinda hard to understand someone when that person doesn't even open up to them. I don't blame Seishin certainly because he's not ready. It quite seems to me that they both attempt to 'reach out' to the other, but those are kinda aborted/arrested.

Perhaps Ozaki is more perceptive than we've given him credit for and he understands, or tries to understand Seishin after all. He's a man of action, much less introspective than Seishin, but he at least has a shred of self-consciousness because he even questions what kind of a person he is. He realizes what a bad person he is for killing Kyoko, but accepts that he's just the kind of person who moves forward to get things done, sometimes regardless of the consequences. This kind of self-acceptance is probably a reason why Ozaki isn't as fundamentally unhappy as Seishin.

Like you said, Seishin is trying to be 'perfect', whereas Ozaki is kind of like, 'yeah, this is who I am, and so be it. If other people don't like it, fine.' And people like him anyway, even despite his grouchy temper because his good will and concern for his patients show while he's working. In fact, by not trying to have people like him, Ozaki is still more well-liked than Seishin. Although Ozaki is sometimes off-putting, everyone still respects him and realizes that he's very competent. He's a fun guy to spend time with.

Seishin on the other hand, is so perfect that he's even unapproachable. His suicide attempt, his unwillingness to open up even might make him look kind of creepy in the eyes of the villagers. The only thing that he likes that he does not try to hide is his writing habit, and even then the villagers think that habit is kind of weird. Might that be another reason for Seishin resenting Ozaki (even if he doesn't show it?) Without even trying, Ozaki has won the respect of the villagers and has a place in the community. As far as Seishin knows, Ozaki also doesn't hate the village. Perhaps Seishin doesn't want to 'hate' the village, but no matter what he ends up doing so anyway. We've been saying that the main reason behind Ozaki and Seishin's shattered friendship is that Ozaki does not understand Seishin, but now that I think about I don't think that's entirely true, and Seishin is at least partly at fault, too; after all, it takes two to start a fight. So maybe Seishin resents Ozaki a little bit for the above reasons, and that might prevent him from opening up to him more. And Ozaki doesn't try that hard to break down Seishin's barriers (he realizes that he has some, to an extent, as seen during his monologue during the Seishin-seme chapter, but maybe he doesn't realize just how huge those barriers are) so it's his fault, too.

Anyways, I sort of got off topic. What I was trying to say is that Ozaki is at least a little bit perceptive when it comes to Seishin. He's seen flashes of Seishin's 'real self' before and he guesses at his real personality. However, he doesn't want to think too hard; that's not necessarily bad, because he's just that kind of person. Some people say that people who are depressed just better understand of how the world works, and maybe that kind of applies to Ozaki in that he doesn't really stop to analyze, doesn't feel the need to do so either; as a result, he's largely okay with being the village doctor and can put up with even his controlling shrew of a mother.

But Ozaki is too an admirable character; he has good, even excellent qualities like compassion, efficiency, a sense of humor, and determination. He sees the world in a less complicated light than Seishin, although he is not by any means an idealistic character. Seishin however, is more lost and confused at this point in the book anyway, and mirrors most people because most people are kind of confused and unsure about morality just like Seishin is. So it's natural that these kinds of people would admire a character like Ozaki's; and it also explains why Seishin would admire Ozaki's personality as well.

Sometimes, introspections which are too deep aren't good. I agree with you, Toshio accepts his own self more readily, which is really good. And that out of all people, (excluding Sunako) he is perhaps most perceptive about Seishin.

Toshio is definitely admirable in a lot of ways. I love how he is rather consistent; unlike most around him, he never succumbs to killing people. He gets things done, even willing to do dirty works for that. More action, less introspection and while it has its downside, it does him good too. At least it makes him not unhappy. He's perhaps not the best kind of person, but he's sincere and there's no mask. He doesn't feel the need to create another persona, unlike Seishin.

And Seishin is definitely that kind of person people will usually love to talk bad about. He's quiet and closed off, downright eccentric and introverted. There are some issues to contribute, too. And the fact that the temple/Muroi family isn't generally as well liked as Ozaki family is also a big factor, I'd say. Toshio is open, sincere and more social, even if he has faulty mouth, so people will generally be more comfortable around him. Seishin is generally kind, but he also isn't particularly close to people. While Toshio is closer to people.

Seishin resenting Toshio; aha, this is a theme I haven't touched in a while. But I have to say I don't really get this at the moment. (weird, I somehow stated a lot of this in the past, but I also felt like misreading Seishin a lot at that time, so...) Let's see: Seishin admires Toshio. He perhaps wants to be like him, but he cannot; therefore at the same time he somehow resents himself (even if he perhaps doesn't realize) he also resents Toshio for being able to do those things so easily (does he even realize this?) Seishin is a very idealistic person, but he perhaps cannot very well live up to that idealism, at the moment. (both himself and outside factors to contribute) That must be downright frustrating.

I don't really see them as 'fighting', actually. I see them more like a couple who divorce simply because they're not of the same principles anymore. Doesn't mean they're no longer friends, even if perhaps they cannot return to the way they are before. Doesn't mean they no longer like each other. There are perhaps a bit of hard feelings, but it's overall a separation on good terms. Everything about it feel so anticlimactic to me in the books -- like sooner or later, it's meant to happen eventually. Like the death of Sotoba village. They perhaps can somehow see it, truly conscious or not, that they will somehow separate. And they understand. I cannot blame them for their separation. They are perhaps better off separated, I hope at least this will give Seishin chances to shape himself the way he wants to.

We can tie Seishin to the real world and say that because of his introspection, that means he's self-conscious. Well, it's true..most people who struggle with depression and not belonging and stuff are usually people who analyze their actions and the world around them. People like Ozaki, however, who don't see the world as simply as Seishin, actually end up doing better because they don't overcomplicate things, like how I feel Seishin does sometimes. If you think about it, *why* does he spend so much time musing about his own personal God? Why does it matter? Surely, he would be happier if he didn't have stuff like morality and justice preying on his mind. But he does.

It's kind of a paradox how Seishin is so pessimistic and is empty inside and feels hopeless because of the village, yet Ozaki labels him an idealist. And contrastingly, Ozaki himself is more jaded despite being able to enjoy life a bit more. They're really excellent foils to each other! They are actually both proactive if you think about it, but in different ways: Seishin consistently tries to sort out how the world works, how feelings work, how he feels, etc; and Ozaki takes action without ever figuring out 'the world'. But it doesn't hinder him because it's not one of his main objectives, even though it is Seishin's. There's a difference of values there too.

The idea of Seishin resenting Ozaki was more of an extended guess on my part, just given what I know about them. It's really common in groups of friends for some to get jealous and secretly resent the other person--and then hate themselves for breeding such ill will to someone who's their friend. So, it would make sense if it was like this for Seishin towards Ozaki. Ozaki is approachable, he fits in with the village, he runs his branch of the village on his own terms...he must be somewhat on a pedestal in Seishin's eyes. So when Ozaki disappoints him by keeping the disease to himself, that might be why he retaliated so harshly. This isn't a new occurrence, so I guess that maybe when Seishin gets really mad at Ozaki the reason why he's so intense is because he doesn't want Ozaki to fall in his eyes. I'm making it sound like he worships Ozaki, but I don't feel like that's the case. I more agree with how you said that he doesn't realize it himself; maybe when they were both kids, Seishin more actively resented him for having more friends and being so outgoing, but that was superficial stuff. Now, Seishin has more deep reasons to resent Ozaki...but he's not a child, so maybe the thought doesn't even occur to him.

By them 'fighting' I just meant the decreasing compatibility between them. They kind of ended on a bad note when Ozaki declared that he was going to hunt down the Shiki (going off what I was saying before, maybe Seishin was partly so upset because he was so disillusioned by Ozaki and disappointed in him), but then towards the end they kind of just accept each other as being good people, but have no desire to resume their friendship because they know that it just can't work. For the first time in their lives, maybe they fully understand each other?
Definitely though, being away from Ozaki will probably be good for Seishin. Unlike Ozaki, who makes him kind of confused, Sunako helps Seishin clarify his own thoughts. If his main objective is figuring out how the world works, she kind of helps him get that off of his mind by putting together the pieces to the puzzle and then, now that his mind is at peace, he can become more assertive and do stuff like chopping Ohkawa in half.

What makes me perplexed and sad is Toshio is his best friend, but even in front of him Seishin has his walls up. Even if he's considerably not as rigid, perhaps, around him on occasions, I feel like that's all the more reasons for him to strengthen that barrier; Toshio is his best friend, the one he looks up to, the one he probably doesn't want to disappoint the most, the one he's perhaps most affectionate towards. What if he finds Seishin's true color/darker side unacceptable? While with Sunako, she already opens upto him since day one, and sometimes it's way easier to talk to a stranger than to people you're close to. Even if Sunako finds his darker side unacceptable, Seishin won't mind because Sunako is a stranger. And Sunako is a 'child', so he plays along and lets her do what she wants at first, which apparently continues on until an emotional attachment is formed. All in all, I'm glad he meets Sunako, even if I'm a bit displeased with the aftermath (I feel like it's unfair on Sunako's side) I once stated that I found Seishin's 'awkwardness' around Toshio a bit alarming, but this awkwardness is perhaps caused by Seishin's building his walls.

Now that I think about it, it can also be the case that Seishin gets mad at Toshio because he doesn't want to see him fall. Doesn't want to see him succumbing into a bad side and God forbid encountering troubles for that. Like, he scolds him also because he cares about him. I also think he retaliates that harshly because it greatly disadvantages people; Seishin's type is greatly ethical and moral and all that jazz after all, and Toshio acts like that out of selfishness, won't be surprising if he's mad. On 'worshipping Toshio' part... I don't think it's as 'severe' as worshipping him, but it looks to me that Toshio is a rather exclusive being to Seishin, more than merely a best friend. Seishin is amazingly oblivious about many things, but I don't think this really applies in how he perceives his relationship with Toshio; in my opinion, he must be mostly aware of what Toshio actually is to him, though he perhaps doesn't name it. His anchor to life, his 'reasons' perhaps, that he finds his purpose through him, perhaps. I feel that Seishin is the kind who serves people, and that here he kind of serves Toshio, things like that.

On the resenting part: Sinnesspiel also had agreed to it once I think, and now that you do too, that perhaps says something. I cannot really see it at the moment, but granted there's also lack of knowledge on my part. I've perhaps overlooked it. While I believe you two are more knowledgeable than me in several stuffs. (in short: I don't know much about the intricacies of interactions between people, I think haha)

On Seishin killing Ohkawa: I think that's also because he finds his position being threatened somehow? He's just awaken as a jinrou, his mind is perhaps in chaos. Also because he's all 'screw it allll' in a very indifferent manner when he's mad. I believe even people who are ethical and moralists can at times do things which are uncalled for when they really feel threatened.

Yeah! I agree, definitely, that Seishin is trapped in this painful cycle where he can't open up to his fellow villagers, but he can't open up to Ozaki either completely. I've found this to be absolutely true even with my own experiences where I'd like to talk about something that others might judge me for, and I'd like to talk to a close friend, but then I'm like "No...they'll remember it forever." Especially if it's something you just want to discuss and forget. I'm not saying that Seishin wants to forget whatever he'd confide in to Ozaki, but perhaps he feels that Ozaki will treat him differently because of it. Already because of his attempted suicide, the villagers are treating him like he's brittle as glass, liable to break at any moment. It would be unbearable to Seishin if his best friend, someone he looks up to, were to suddenly stop being jokey and playful with him and started to treat him as a patient liable to hurt himself. So even if Ozaki is in the village with him, Seishin is still isolated within Sotoba. It's an interesting thought.

When Seishin tells Ozaki off, it almost seems as if he's educating a student on how to behave. But if you take our conversation about him into account, it might seem like he's trying desperately to mold Ozaki back into his ideal image of his best friend. To take a new angle with Seishin, would we go so far as to say he craves being in control? He is so controlled even that he has a firm grip on his own emotions and carefully conceals his real self from the villagers, showing them only what he wants them to see. It takes a great strength of will to do that, which hints at Seishin's inner strength. But by trying to mold Ozaki into being a role model best friend with no flaws, and failing, Seishin may feel like he's losing control. So when Ozaki reveals that he's going to kill all of the Shiki, this is so against Seishin's moral compass that he realizes that he has no way of making Ozaki into his perfect image again, or indeed, trying to disillusion himself into making Ozaki seem perfect in his mind. The feel of slipping control could drive him to go to Kanemasa, maybe out of exhaustion from trying to take control all the time--Sunako then takes the reins and Seishin remains passive throughout the story until the end.

Then maybe when Seishin kills Ohkawa, he's not suddenly assertive as we thought at first? Maybe he's already so exhausted and broken and, like you said, threatened by his own people. He sees that Sunako, who has helped bring peace to his mind, is about to be taken away, he does anything possible to get her to stay with him. Sunako's a lucky girl, to be shown such devotion!

(PS-- your analyses about human interactions are just fine!! :D)

Already the theme 'isolation' is brought up in the story! What I feel when I reread is, there are lots of scattered clues in the novel all along, which will surely aid us in analyzing. It's very interesting!

Hmm, that's an interesting idea. I've uttered an idea to Sinnesspiel about Seishin being as selfish as Toshio, and that his 'devotion' to Toshio actually also has to do with his selfishness. (you perhaps have seen my reply to Sinnesspiel about this 8D If you want, we can also discuss that particular reply! I perhaps need to be Devil's Advocate'd.) Seishin feels the need to be Toshio's breaks, like he wants to shape Toshio into an ideal being somehow? Perhaps we can see it that way. Seishin is very idealistic, and he perhaps has a tendency to preach on others, if he's let to do so. Consciously or subconsciously. He also has a martyr complex, with his own set of values. I think he'll someday want to share his values with others, trying to make the world see them. Idealistic people can also be perfectionist, and if he has his way he'll perhaps want to mold others/the world the way he wants to, like you said. Toshio is the one closest to him, so I think it's to be expected that he gets even more desperate with him. It also came to my mind that in that infamous chapter (ehem) Seishin perhaps also talked about himself. That he also actually craves control, but couldn't do so. I somehow think that also frustrates himself, because he has something he 'wants', but doesn't really have the power to create the chances. Or he perhaps underestimates himself. His tendency to overthink things is a hindrance among others.

I also feel that he scolds Toshio because he thinks Toshio isn't supposed to do that, which has less to do with actually caring about people but has more to do with how a perfect leader should be. Which is all theory. In the theory, as a good human being (and a leader) you're supposed to be blah blah blah, like that. Seishin is somewhat an ethical moralist after all. He's Sotoba's future leader, and he's perhaps received kind of hard training for that since he was small. In Seishin's head, there are set of values not his own which was planted inside him by the villagers and his family. So when Toshio acts out of his way, I think it's logical if he's angered. Because that's not how a good leader should be. If there's one thing about a good leader, that is, placing others' need before your own. This is perhaps not what Seishin actually wants, himself, but he's also a person who naturally does what's expected of him, and that he perhaps feels even more pressured than Toshio. (both men feel incredibly pressured actually though) In a way, I think Seishin is more vulnerable because he's easily swept by his surroundings, more so than Toshio.

About the moral horizon scene: I'm still quite unclear, (definitely need to rewatch the anime or perhaps try to read that part in the novel myself) but aside from it having to do with Seishin's moral values being put into display, I also feel like he has come to somewhat side with the Shiki. He's sympathized with the Shiki and he wants the village to die out, so part of him opposes Toshio. I'm a bit hesitating to say this since I'm not yet at that stage where I can leisurely read Shiki, which makes me perhaps incorrect: but as far as I'm aware, the Moral Horizon scene in the novel is much different from how it is in the anime/manga. There seem to be lots of conversations, compared to how Seishin only staying silent in the anime/manga before he turns his back to Toshio completely. In the novel, it seems like Seishin tries to reason with Toshio. I think he's somewhat torn about that even, compared to the surer (and kinda more hateful) impression I got from the anime/manga. And it's Toshio who dismisses Seishin in the novel, saying something like 'I don't need that shit now, you better go back'. This definitely feels even more anticlimactic to me. And my impression is that Toshio perhaps doesn't think that much about this conversation -- he thinks they're fighting, but it's not a world-ending moment. While for Seishin it's rather world-ending, and has 30x the impact on him. That's my temporary judgment, I really need to try inspecting that part...

Seishin's inner strength and control is something I really envy. Though I somehow think this also has to do with his detachment issues. Because he's detached, he's able to control himself, though that's certainly not all there is to it (certainly kudos to his own strength too) that's what I feel. His detachment helps. If I were to be in his position I'd have likely gone mad sooner. I have few ideas on how he's come to be so detached: (to the point it alarms me, again) I've stated often that Seishin feels like a ghost, like he doesn't really exist in the present world, in Sotoba -- but he actually exists more in his own head. In another imaginary world, perhaps even. Seishin is also a person who's very imaginative and creative, like, he'd glance at the Kirishiki's cars in the dead of night and immediately comes up with weird ideas. I think this way he has a tendency to create lots of idealized stuffs in his head, which perhaps includes Toshio. I think he's this kind of person who's prone at daydreaming. His mind can be a rather exciting place, indeed, but it also has its downsides -- he's prone to deep introspection and overthinking, which will eventually eats away at him. I don't know, but I figure this must be so exhausting and confusing to the point he slowly teaches himself not to care, to numb himself. And this explodes when he's mad, because at that time he's kinda overloaded.

When Seishin kills Ohkawa, I also think that he's perhaps terrified that when he wakes up in the forest from being severely wounded, he suddenly feels very different. Inhuman. He perhaps has expected to die, but instead he doesn't feel like a human anymore. He perhaps has rough ideas at that moment about what he's up to, and any sane person will feel terrified. Any newborn Shiki and Jinrou needs the older ones to guide them and teach them things after all. (man, now that I think about it, poor Sunako) That perhaps contributes to the great lengths he goes to for rescuing Sunako. Among other things definitely, like his exhaustion and all. His attachment to Sunako, Tatsumi's orders. Him feeling threatened. (Sunako being threatened in a way makes him feel threatened. It's kinda ironic that Ohkawa dies in Seishin's hands only several hours after he killed his mother). So his indifference (his subconscious will to not make himself overthink things and just do anything on impulse/what he wants) is what ultimately gives birth to his sudden assertiveness, I'd say.

(re: PS -- ayy thank you! Glad you thought so, because I think I can be rather insensitive about things sometimes! 8D)

I always wonder what it would be like to read Shiki without having seen the anime first! Would I have guessed that the disease is vampires? I like to think probably, because of all the ominous clues about the oni and the narrations about feeling watched, and Sunako's abstract creepiness, and especially now, Masao's chapter. The way the truck turns back during the mushiokuri is also a huge clue. But then again, I usually don't see things until they stare me straight in the face; I didn't even guess that Shiki was about vampires until the very end of the first episode of the anime! I thought it was going to be about a serial killer, actually because of the description that said "death is stalking the villagers".

Sure, show me the reply! I think it's really intriguing, the dark parts of the characters. I like finding reasons behind Seishin and Ozaki's dysfunctions--I don't think it's just because of them not having compatible ideologies, but there should be some emotional reasons for it, like resentfulness or distrust, and distrust is a big part of it too.

Seishin is interesting because most people who like being in control are brash, outspoken, and aggressive, because they need those qualities to get their way most of the time, and Seishin is anything but. If I could pick a character in Shiki who would conform to the 'control freak' idea, it would probably be Ozaki, because he has the influence and the leadership qualities to get everything under his control--but he's fine with things being a little bit out of control, which I think leads to his being more relaxed than Seishin in general. Ozaki's relationship with his mom and wife aren't perfect, and he knows that--he's not too inclined to have a perfect family. But his acceptance of it leads him to still be on good terms with Kyoko, and I daresay his mom even has a grudging respect for how he is conscientious even while being a disgrace to the family. Seishin on the other hand is obviously a perfectionist; my support from the text comes from when it's described how he writes his novels, and prefers all of the pencils to be sharpened and instead of writing, he more like engraves because he's pressing so hard. Everything that he does kind of shows that he wants things to be as orderly and neat as possible, but he also blocks out the things that don't go his way. He's expected to marry, but he doesn't, and I feel like even if it's not explicitly shown, that expectation preys on him often. And maybe going back to what I said about Ozaki being a likely candidate for being able to take control, maybe Seishin realizes that too and sort of projects himself onto Ozaki; Ozaki has the qualities Seishin would have liked to had, because with them he can take the control that he craves so much. Like, if Seishin was Ozaki, he would have done 'A', therefore Seishin tries to push Ozaki to do 'A'because he feels that he should.

Not everyone has the luxury of being able to read ahead, so I'll just have to wait! D: But that's interesting (how to Ozaki, the last fight isn't a big deal, but to Seishin it is) and if that's true I think it should have been included in the anime. It would really bring out how different the two are, and what I like about them gradually growing apart is that there's no one who's clearly wrong. Ozaki is pragmatic and proactive, but he doesn't get as caught up in moral dilemmas as he perhaps *should*; and Seishin is passive and unsure about what to do, but he does consider both sides of the story, and he does hit the nail on the head in that the Shiki aren't monsters without emotions. However, maybe that's because he's talked to Sunako and she helped him develop his ideas about being abandoned by God and that lets him have more sympathy for them. But perhaps Seishin is the only person that Sunako would have that effect on...imagine if she talked to Ozaki instead, would she have such an impact on him? He would probably brush her off as being a child, plus he doesn't have as much emotional baggage that she can latch onto. Also, he doesn't frequent an abandoned church... but it would be interesting to contemplate what their interactions would be like.

I agree with the notion of Seishin being a lot like a ghost. By trying to be perfect, he also seems to lack substance. Like a ghost, he never exerts a lot of change on the outside world, even if he WANTS to (like he wants to take back control). Yeah, I think that's a really good analogy. Another thing about Ozaki and Seishin being foil characters is the way they change throughout the novel; Ozaki has an impact on the outside world, and pretty much single-handedly (he doesn't even have Natsuno to help in the novel!) eliminates all of the Shiki and rallies the villagers to his side. Like a typical hero, he tries to help with a problem that nobody can solve..finds a solution...nobody believes him. Well, he MAKES them believe him. Seishin would perhaps be envious of the way he takes control at the end. Seishin on the other hand, if you think about it doesn't really have that much impact on the story at all. Plot wise, what would be the difference if Seishin didn't exist (other than the book getting shorter by removing all of his monologues?) Nothing really--the change that he does cause is about as significant as Ozaki, but it's inner change. He gets his emotions sorted out, he gets rid of his hesitation. Maybe he even becomes the person he always wanted to be. He changes so much, even his species changes, so there's a physical change too: Seishin changes into a jinrou, Ozaki changes Sotoba into a pile of blood-splattered rubble.

I'm not sure if Seishin is terrified or not at the end--it's kind of ambiguous in the anime, but I don't think I would argue for or against that yeeet. If he is, then that's a really important moment because it shows that underneath the cold exterior, he really is just like everyone else. He's been preaching all along that the Shiki are just like everyone else, so when he turns into a super-Shiki, he proves himself right by being just like he was when he was alive (although he technically never died, whatever.)
But then you can also turn it on its head and say that he's stone cold serious. After killing Ohkawa, he clearly explains to Sunako why they are outside of God's boundaries and why she shouldn't commit suicide by burning to death. Would he have been able to do that if he was half out of his mind?Oh...he might also be assertive because if he now thinks he's outside of God's influence, he doesn't have to be perfect and full of justice for Him anymore, which is why he doesn't blink in killing Ohkawa. The way he was obsessed with justice before, I almost feel like he would let Sunako die as justice for having killed so many people.

(PSSS: Nah, we can all be! I always just try to take a human approach in my analyses because human behavior often follows a pattern, despite how different we can be...but I don't always achieve that :c)

"I usually don't see things until they stare me straight in the face" That, that's me as well. Or until someone points something out to me, or until I write it down. I can be sensitive, but like, most of the time I'm kinda not. That's why discussing things with people is always a good thing. But more often than not, I'm too meek to make the approach. (once I get to though, I'm incredibly chatty, as you can see)

I first knew about Shiki from an anime-manga magazine if I'm not mistaken, before it was going to be made into anime. Thanks to it I already knew Shiki was about vampires, that's why I can get so invested in it. I love stories about inhuman creatures/monsters/basically fantasy-supernatural genre (vampires are high on my list! I dislike ghost stories though) Ono-sensei's works seem to suit me quite well, though I think I'll not delve much into her ghost works. The horror definitely gets me, though. I'm all into horror stories which are actually about monsters and not ghost. (If you can perhaps recc me some, fufu)

Well then, I'll just copy paste here!: "I feel like whenever Toshio uses the word 'childhood friend' to refer to Seishin (which isn't often I think, at least there're 2 times: in Seishin-seme chapter and just before epilogue. Perhaps there are more) he perhaps feels like Seishin's farther away and unapproachable/he cannot understand him. On the contrary I don't recall Seishin using this word to refer to Toshio. Toshio is Toshio, or a friend. (still, I can be wrong) Perhaps there's a matter of difference about how I regard this word from how Japanese people do? In my opinion, childhood friend means a person you've known since childhood, but that doesn't guarantee you're still close with them. Perhaps Japanese people regard this word quite differently?"

"I somehow think that Toshio secretly likes getting lots of attention from Seishin. He's a person who wants to be special, significant, and surely if I were Toshio Seishin's attention will flatter me. That's also why he didn't protest much when his room was moved. He got a bit tsundere-ish afterward; about how he implied he missed his old room, but that's perhaps because he wanted to get a reaction out of Seishin. I said to airlynx about how he's the passive one in this relationship... But that's perhaps also because he likes seeing Seishin all proactive on him. He's notorious for only accepting when Seishin's already at the front door; obviously this is not all there is to it, but I think he likes seeing Seishin going that far just for him.

But Sunako beats you to it, Toshio: she doesn't only open her arms wide since the beginning, she also actually walks towards Seishin's direction aggressively. This obviously will give Seishin encouragement; what you do is kinda a mixed signal, Seishin already has kinda low self-esteem and he perhaps thinks of you as waayy out of his league. Pssh pssh."

I've included some parts of this in my last reply to you, but just in case, I'll also copy paste this: "Another gut feeling of mine is Seishin, probablyyyyy has more similarities with Toshio than what we initially think. Both are prone to neglect their own health, they blame their own selves over things, (Toshio is actually rather self-conscious) the nihilist stuff also perhaps, and most notorious is they're both very selfish. Seishin is perhaps more prone to be terrified and ashamed of bad things he's able to do though. And unlike Toshio, he gets influenced and overhelmed easily -- people's opinions matter a lot, so bad traits are a no-no. Hence my belief that when his selfishness does show, those stuffs he's selfish about are very significant to him. The Seishin-seme chapter implies that he can be a selfish person and he admits this. (the "all humans want to be the center of universe..." part) I feel like that. He doesn't blame Toshio also because he thinks he can do just as bad, perhaps worse. I think Seishin's a person full of potential. He can be anything, both good and bad. And he admits this.

Perhaps his feeling the need to be Toshio's breaks and serving Toshio is also part of this selfishness. I have difficulties thinking that he does all of this merely because he feels obligated. I really feel like he clearly enjoys being in Toshio's presence. Perhaps he also found Toshio as someone he could connect with when he was small; partially why he sticks around. Perhaps he wants to be someone significant to him.

That perhaps sounds like Seishin --> Toshio is rather similar to Sunako --> Seishin (their motive and a bit of methods?)" --

Ahha, Toshio is definitely control freak. Seishin's stated this, and pretty sure this is implied in one of Toshio chapters. I think Toshio himself doesn't really want to marry someone, his marrying Kyouko seems more like it's because he's being pressured. But in the end he does what he wants to do (and has the power to do so); he doesn't want to create a perfect marriage because he himself isn't interested in marriage. About the 'engraving' idea on Seishin, it seems more to me like he, despite how quiet he is, he'd like to engrave himself into this world. He wants to be significant, to matter, because who doesn't. The way he engraves his writing gives me this idea about how he'd make his writing 'real', 'matter', and he doesn't erase his writing often and even if it gets to the point he must do so, he makes sure it'll not be done easily; because whatever he creates, he doesn't want it to be able to be destroyed easily. And that his writing coincidentally relates a lot with himself as a person, that perhaps says something. Like, 'This is me.' 'This is me.' he would like to be recognized as he actually is, and this is one of his methods. Good thing Sunako finds him, really.

In the end, just like everyone else, Seishin wants everything to be in his order. He doesn't get married because I genuinely thinks he actually doesn't want to get married. He wonders about lots of stuffs, but marriage is not one of them, just like his idealism. Hence I think that's because he's set on them already. Seishin is kinda a silent rebel. But considering his responsibility, there isn't really a way out for him not wanting to get married -- hence, he blocks this out for indeterminate amount of time, I agree on this. I also quite agree with the part of him wanting to project himself onto Toshio. For someone who's low-profile and somehow caters to how society works, to the way of the world -- he has a high sense of self, and someday he'll want to be seen as he truly is, as genuine and raw as possible. He'll engrave himself into the world.

If you want, I'll try to read that section as best as I can, and relay it to you. I'm curious as well. This will have to wait though. Sure, I can just ask Sinnesspiel by copy-pasteing it, but something as big as that -- we perhaps better wait until the translations get to this part in its final form. Tension and thrill-building, will be more fun that way, I guess. Ehm, everything is up to you, whatever you'd like! ;D

Toshio just wants to get things done; whatever it takes. Seishin considers all sides a lot, to the point he doesn't get to do anything, because he'll not like it when his actions don't cater to all sides; not perfect, perhaps. His sympathy gets the better of him too, because he's more connected to the emotional aspects of everything than the technical aspects. Toshio is more about technical aspects.

Sinnesspiel once said that Sunako attempted to project herself onto Seishin, and I pretty much agree with this. Looking at Seishin's works, Sunako thinks Seishin can understand her, can relate with her, so aggressive she goes towards him. She perhaps feels very lonely (wouldn't be shocking) and I ultimately think everyone would like to have someone they can relate to. In the first place Seishin and Sunako are already quite similar or even compatible. Sooo ultimately I cannot imagine there'll be much between Toshio and Sunako, were they able to encounter one another. You're right, I kinda want to see it too.

Uh uh, I agree! Kinda hurts, but you're right in that Seishin isn't actually really significant to the plot, aside from his own arcs. That's why I said he seems to have his own plot, which is separated from the main Sotoba plot. Like he's a separate entity already. It's a good thing the books are about him, or else he'll fade to the background. That being said, I imagine him as actually an envious person, and that he envies Toshio a lot too, because he has the power to change things. Whether he realizes or not. (well, he perhaps realizes, but his adoration for him is stronger) perhaps not the best kind of change, but it's perhaps better than nothing.

From what I get from the novels though, he already doesn't believe in God since the start and he knows that -- so for him, there's no such thing as God's influence. (or he's unable to find God, because he has his own God which doesn't exactly conform to the general idea of God, and he feels conflicted?) But the society, the world is much stronger than he is, so he has no choice but to cater to it. He doesn't have the power to change it, yet. In the end of Shiki however, he's found the power, thanks to many causes. And I think he doesn't let Sunako die for his own selfishness and not for her. Whether he's lonely, or he needs Sunako for some reason -- he could be saying all that to lure Sunako into doing what he wants her to do; staying alive.

(You try to follow patterns, that's good! :D my methods are messier.)

Hahah same, I'm usually afraid of being annoying, but I do like discussing things! I usually find that if left to my own analysis of something, it's a lot more biased and less sound than if I talk about it. Conversation also stimulates thought, so get farther into the zone if I talk about it with someone...so thanks for getting me in the zone :D

Monster stories...well, I really liked Ghost Hunt, but that is, like the title suggests, about ghosts, although there's some parts where there's legitimate monsters there. One anime I recently got into is Shinsekai Yori/From the New World, and it has some pretty creepy monster-like characters (it's set 1000 years in the future). The monsters aren't as glamorous as the Shiki though, but are HUMANS THE REAL MONSTERS!? That's also an anime that gets philosophical. Anyway, if you've seen it, don't spoil it for me though, because I'm not done with it yet. Hellsing also has vampires, but I haven't watched it so I can't personally vouch for its quality.

For me, what really scares me is the unknown. That feeling of paranoia that's in the chapters where Atsushi, among other villagers, feels watched, that was my favorite horror element of all. Once everything's out in the open, it's still entertaining to me, though, just not in the same way. When you don't know what's out there, that's scary. When it's an open threat, it's still awesome because then you can expect action sequences.

Ohh, I see. I think maybe another thing about Seishin and Ozaki is that the two are similar, but they just go separate ways, if that makes sense. As children (nice analysis about the 'childhood friend'. It really does sound like he means that they USED to be friends; but maybe it also means that they were just carefree friends before, but now they're companions, still being weighed down by the village. 'Childhood' seems carefree, so maybe he just means that they used to be more carefree before. Either way, they were definitely 'childhood friends' before things went downhill) Seishin and Ozaki were probably similar. And at their cores, they still kind of are. Both are frustrated by their parents' expectations, and this is kind of inverted because even though Seishin's parents aren't as insistent as Takae, he still takes their wordless disapproval to heart...but he would have taken it to heart even more if they WERE like Takae. And Ozaki's mother is really insistent, but he doesn't seem bothered...which doesn't mean that he isn't, though. Although the book does has all kinds of textual support for why he kind of disregards her as a nuisance, I get the impression that all of her expectations and pressures have translated into his personality and Ozaki still holds himself to some pretty high standards. Even though Ozaki's father is dead, he still thinks of him often and even though he is determined to not be like him, the fact remains that he is a big influence on Ozaki's life and decisions.

So, again with the similarities: both of them are pressured by their parents, both have an important future ahead of them. Both also have inner strength; Ozaki's stares the reader in the face because of his determination and success in outing the Shiki. But you have to dig a little big deeper to see Seishin's inner strength. Just one example is the discipline he commands over himself which allows him to become the model priest, even if it stretches him to his emotional breaking point (do you think that without his side job as an author, he would have been even more depressed?) He is also steadfast in his beliefs, and although he never outwardly protests, say, the temple's intolerance of people with other religious beliefs, his surroundings never sway his moral compass or sense of justice.

Another difference between them is that Seishin is not the main player at the temple; okay, he's taking over for his father, but it's not like the temple would not exist without him. He has his mother, father, and volunteers for support, yet he is always feeling isolated and most of the work he does to research the disease for example, is done on his own.

Ozaki, on the other hand, is The Village Doctor. Unlike Seishin, if he didn't exist, then the hospital would not either, without a doctor. He has arguably more responsibility than Seishin, but he always confides in his nurses and staff, and considers their opinions when they discuss the outbreak. He doesn't tell them his suspicions about vampires obviously, but the point is that Ozaki has staff to lean on, and he does lean on them regularly. This can connect to the theme of the story, which could be, like, 'Don't try to do everything on your own' because as soon as Ozaki stops feeling like he can confide in his hospital cohorts, his easygoing temper starts declining until he does stuff like yell at Seishin and not notice when Nurse Yuki goes missing.

This isn't to say that you're not a real man if you don't rely on your friends; Seishin doesn't, but he's still a strong character in his own right. You can say he's a martyr (most of the suffering he goes through is actually inflicted through his own worldview and attitude) and that's what draws him to the church where he talks to Sunako.

Nice analysis about Seishin's engraving! I...can't even say anything better myself about it. It's like Seishin makes himself into a 'ghost', but fights against it himself inwardly by little actions such as these.

If you ship Ozaki and Seishin, you could say that the reason Seishin was so drawn to Sunako was because she does have something like Ozaki in her personality. They're both determined, desperate people--and both end up leaving a bunch of bodies in their wake. Sunako kills people to survive, and Ozaki ends up inciting a massacre of Shiki in order for the village to survive. Their motives are all the same; for such a philosophical book, it's interesting that what motivates most of the characters at their core is the need to survive, such a simple drive. The difference between Sunako and Ozaki is that Sunako possesses insight and patience enough to lift Seishin up out of his dark mindset. Ozaki has this potential too; during the Seishin-seme chapter, you can see that he recognizes Seishin's empty personality, and has seen it before, yet never acts on it.

Sunako maybe got all her views about life and death, the views that help her to understand Seishin, from a lifetime of thinking about her killing people. The aftermath of the events of the novel are never explicitly explained, but who knows what kind of transformation Ozaki would undergo. Would he perhaps later think about his argument with Seishin about what the latter said about Shiki being like humans too? Instead of thinking of it as 'getting rid of pests', maybe he'd start to think of it as 'murder' - as I'm sure many villagers will, as well. In time, perhaps Ozaki would get Suanko's patience and wisdom and would be capable of understanding Seishin as she did.

I like how the tables turn at the end of the book; I feel like Sunako kept coming back to Seishin and the church because of selfishness. She also didn't kill him when he asked dramatically, "Are you Shiki?", although her primary goal was to make Sotoba into a safe haven for the Shiki. This could have potentially offset her plan, but she felt like she needed Seishin to stick around. Even in the Kanemasa basement, she relied on his support to keep her going, and even cried in front of Seishin, a human--and she'd openly confessed to Tohru of her thinking of humans as cattle.
And at the end, it's completely inverted as Seishin, who is now a bloodthirsty vampire (supposedly) and selfishly keeping someone alive (here, Sunako is presented as a human. She has none of her otherworldliness when she runs from the villagers, when threatened by Ohkawa, when she decides to burn along with the church. Here, she's just a frightened human girl) So their positions are flipped, and this time it's Seishin who whisks her away like a lighter, prettier Ozaki.

I think I'll wait for the translation on that part! I want the paranoia suspense. \._./

(There's a method to every madness.)

Yeah, I too fear that I'll be biased if left to my own analyzing. And like you I also really love when my thoughts are stimulated. Getting new knowledge and discovering new things. Two is always better than one. (this holds true to Seishin and Sunako too. Even if they have a lonely future waiting for them, at least they have each other)

Ayy 8D Shinsekai Yori looks awesome! Well then, I'll look it up later~ (from the looks of it you apparently also dislike spoilers. And I've literally spoiled you D: I'm sorryy, I'll be more careful in the future)

I think their core personalities still stay different, but their similar background shape them and form similar personality traits. Like your examples. Though perhaps there are slight similarities in their core personalities, but I think at this point it'll be hard to point out. Aaand yes, I think he'll be more depressed if he doesn't have his side job. It's the closest thing to a hobby he has (how sad is that?), in another way he clings to it. Writing is an outlet for him in a way, even if he perhaps doesn't realize it. (there's this quote: in the end people just want to tell you their stories)

And yeah, I agree with what you said: when we really think about it, Seishin is actually damn strong. Even if all he does to maintain his perfect figure is at the expense of his own self. I really think he's been murdering himself little by little thanks to this. He's been isolating himself, locking his real self inside without letting it go even once (unlike Toshio who still makes himself known sometimes. He's a naturally private person and the fear of being rejected/having no one to be able understand him makes him reluctant to approach people) it'll burn hotter and hotter but just like a candle, it'll ultimately die down, eating itself out. He's become numb. In a way Seishin is somehow like a walking corpse...

And I figure he also tends to underestimate himself. Seishin is actually strong, and he has potentials, but somehow he cannot see this. He tends to overthink things and it really prevents him from unleashing his potentials.

And perhaps his being separated from Toshio is really a good thing. In a way he's been living under his shadow, like him being his breaks and supporter is an appointed role. Even if he's the one who placed that role. Not that his 'role' is anything fully negative, because I don't think it is, but Seishin sticks to it too much in a way that he doesn't really let himself 'grow'? But being separated from Toshio will change all that. Now he can decide for himself too. In a way Toshio is like the Sotoba to him.

I wonder if Seishin's able to detect Sunako's similarities to Toshio based only on their encounters though? (I myself haven't really thought about it. We haven't even started on Sunako yet) but kudos to Sunako for actually trying to be there, even if she perhaps has her agenda too (because of this agenda, she'll want to seem more 'appeal' to Seishin, though of course they're already quite compatible and similar in the first place). I ship Toshio/Seishin, but I'm chill with how the book turns out. I know that Seishin needs Sunako, and I understand that Toshio and Seishin's separation is needed. Sunako puts Seishin at ease, talking him through his problems. I can see why he's getting attached.

I think it's also true that there's lack of compromising on Toshio's part, but he doesn't owe Seishin anything. And vice versa.

I somehow don't want Toshio to lose his sense of justice (eradicating Shiki) because that helps defining him, and losing a part of yourself would be painful. Though he'll perhaps contemplate on having taken Seishin for granted now that the man's gone. When you lost something, only that time you realize how valuable it is. So I think he'll stay true to his justice, but makes more efforts to understand Seishin. And doesn't belittle him for what he's done.

Now that I think about it, in a way Seishin's Sunako's weakness? He knows what she is, but it's a real foolish move not to finish him off. (though haha, things are in her favor because Seishin doesn't go reporting her to Toshio. Is she even sure about this though? What makes her?) I think this shows that she's still a ki or she lets her emotions and attachment get the better of her. (what if she ends up regretting this? What if ending up with Seishin despairs her?) We know how much control he has over her. ("Muroi-san, please burn with me") what if he actually utilize that to his advantage?

Next on Shiki sequel: Muroi Seishin as Yagami Raito-like, Kirishiki Sunako as Amane Misa-like, Ozaki Toshio as L-like. Plus the default differences.

...

I have an overactive imagination.

Maybe what determines a good friend is how well you can bounce ideas off of each other. Seishin and Ozaki work really well as a team, especially while trying to track down the disease (this didn't work, but they did work well as a team...and I mean that they organized it easily), but that's due to years and years of working together, so they probably know each other's style as well as their own. However, they never make psychological leaps like Sunako and Seishin do. Maybe Ozaki IS capable of introspection or helping out with problems, but Seishin doesn't give him a chance. Most likely though, he wouldn't recognize the scope of Seishin's problem and wave it off, "Man, don't stress about it when you have work to do."

Yay! Shinsekai Yori is so pretty. It's actually kind of an acquired taste, too...let me know how you like it! (That's okay! I don't really like spoilers, but with Shiki I have watched the anime and read the manga so it's not as if you're ruining the experience for me. You're fine talking like you've been talking before ^_^)

I like the idea that Seishin is like a 'walking corpse'--I think it kind of ties in to him being different on the outside and inside. Little by little, I think he would be killing off his outside. By suppressing his true feelings and forcing himself to behave a certain way that isn't him, he's actually killing off the person he actually is. It's very sad, isn't it? Every kid is told to 'just be yourself', but that's very hard as a child. As an adult, people usually have a stronger foundation and are more true to themselves. (One can argue against it that, as a society, everyone conforms, but in this instance I'm just saying that people don't violently suppress themselves like kids who are trying to be something they're not) But Seishin, for whatever reason, does not want to be his real self. Even around Ozaki, he's not his real self--on a superficial level, he's more friendly and normal, but he doesn't really offer his opinions or share his story. He does so with Sunako, though.

But Seishin could BE HIMSELF, couldn't he? Ozaki isn't defined by the expectations of his job; he defines what it means to be a village doctor. He says, THIS is how I will handle this job, THIS is how I feel I can serve the village best. But Seishin thinks that he can't serve the village as well unless he conforms. But he couuuuld D: He actually has it easier than Ozaki, doesn't he? His family isn't as demanding and he has a lot of people at the temple to back him up. But then again, being a monk as a job, if you ignore the people he's surrounded by, is pretty hard because while a doctor just has to be effective at treating patients and problem-solving, being a monk requires him to be a moral example for the other parishioners.

And if Seishin did decide to be himself, who is he, really? He's a lot harder to define than Ozaki. If he didn't suppress his real personality, I suppose he would be thoughtful, bookish, impractical, and somewhat serious, I suppose. That's still okay for a monk, though, in my opinion. It's not as if his real self goes against the virtues of his religion; all he'd have to do is just not talk about his own personal interpretation of God.

It's really hard to say about what kind of a person he'd be without his facade, since his private nature is such a big part of his personality.

I think maybe Seishin's potentials are also understated because he is not very sure of himself; he doesn't have very high self-esteem. Although that's just speculation, I'd say that's the case because he doesn't think that his writing deserves much credit; he shies away from taking action (as a result, Ozaki provides most of the action) and isn't sure if he can be confident in his own thoughts. His reservations are very childlike, so there's also a weird comparison between him and Sunako- she's outwardly a child, but is very much an adult inside, whereas Seishin, an adult, is emotionally childlike.

So at the end, when he kills Ohkawa, he's more action-oriented than ever. I think it could show how much he's 'grown up' with Sunako's help.

According to my personal interpretation of Ozaki, he wouldn't have second-thoughts about Sotoba. He's not very retrospective, and always works in the now, or toward the future. He wouldn't understand what good thinking about the past would do, what's done is done. But the way the series ended on a traumatic note, I think it would make sense if fallout of everything that's happened would come back to haunt the survivors. Unlike Seishin, Ozaki doesn't undergo any changes in his beliefs or personality--but if he did, that would show how much such an ordeal had an effect on him. It would actually say a lot about his character, to what degree he is affected by Sotoba.

I don't necessarily think that letting your emotions get the better of you is a kid thing--it's not as if once you're an adult and experienced enough of the world, you suddenly act only on logic (but that would be nice). I think that at the end Sunako is more human than she's ever been, and Seishin is as far from human as he's ever been. Different people get influenced by emotions in different ways...but I like the way that Sunako, who up to this point has commanded the battle coolly and efficiently, is suddenly taken over by her emotions, showing that she can lose her cool as much as the rest of us.

As a final thought, maybe when Sunako wanted to die, Seishin remembered his own attempted suicide and just told her what he thought he needed to hear when he went through it. All this time, he's been thinking about the reason behind his experience--and Sunako has helped him come to that conclusion. So, now he shares the conclusion with Sunako. But this also reiterates that he's very selfish. He likes the effect Sunako has on him, and he is pretty confident that he can make her willing to live again. And if that's the case, he too is aware of his effect on her.

I wish there was a scene of Seishin-Light washing Ozaki-L's feet...like somewhere by the temple. That would be cool.

8D -- I think Toshio is quite introspective himself, but I also think that there are quite a lot of things he cannot understand about Seishin. Though given their similar backgrounds and years of knowing each other, once they sit down and talk (truly sit down and talk, probably the occasions where they don't have work to do and want to talk), I also believe Toshio will manage to get some things straight about him. I believe Toshio is actually a considerate person, but he just doesn't mix works and feelings together (what differs him from both Seishin and Sunako). This makes him seemingly cold sometimes perhaps. He never hesitates to sacrifice anything for completing a task. When things are dire he perhaps seems like he doesn't care about how others feel. (he doesn't even put his own feelings into consideration. He sees Seishin turning the other side and his reaction is pretty much only 'Oh. Oh well.' he'll probably kill Seishin himself if needed. And now that he's turned Jinrou, that's kinda a guarantee. I want to see this though)

So I think when Toshio has tasks in hand, he'll just shrug Seishin off. (no time for that!) But when he has nothing to do and wants to talk, I think he'll be able to connect with Seishin quite deeply, though not as deep as Seishin's philosophical plane. When their similarities end, it'll probably be difficult for Toshio to get past that though.

Communication is also kind of a problem here. There's only so much thing people can notice about others without their direct input. Toshio is pretty observant himself actually, but even to us (me, you and other readers perhaps) who have endless access to his inner workings he's still a tough piece of work.

Perhaps this is also because he feels somewhat inferior to Toshio, one of many things that hinders him from openly talking to Toshio.

To me Seishin is both a ghost and walking corpse -- ghost being his real self and walking corpse his priest facade. They are both there but also not really there. And we all know now that his novel 'Shiki' is actually about him, so I'm trying to draw parallels: the older brother who are hated by people in the hill and who are cursed by other creatures -- his real self. He probably really thinks that he'll be hated by others (villagers) for being himself. He thinks he's a cursed being or monster. I don't think his real self is bad, I believe it'll stay kind and accepting just like the Seishin we know -- only that it isn't into Buddhism/the general idea of God and religion. He probably feels like it's somehow like a sin, from the way the older brother is treated. (he should do what's expected of him. He should do his duties. He should make others happy. He cannot accept everything else) He's probably been punishing himself, kinda similar to the way Sunako has been punishing herself for being Shiki. Seishin is not a monster, but because he believes strongly that he's one he's become the real monster.

The younger brother is the perfect priest, the walking corpse. The older brother killed him for no reason --> either because Seishin's real self envies his facade or it just wants out, perhaps both. The older brother is banished from the hill --> because of his suicide attempt, he's pretty much 'banished' himself from Sotoba. The younger brother follows his older brother --> Seishin wants to stay true to himself but he's still haunted by his role, by how he's supposed to be.

Since the older brother and younger brother are actually the same person, two sides of Seishin, he's been hurting both of them, and them hurting and attacking one another equals hurting their own self in a way. "He's the one who kills, he's also the one who gets killed."

Ee, it gets weird.

For someone as idealistic as he is though... I think he'll not actually want to be a part of something unless he truly believes in it. (one may say that Seishin, who doesn't actually believe in Buddhism but is 'forced' to be a monk is greatly unfair to both himself and Sotoba/Buddhism itself even) but things are way more difficult than this, to him. He still feels strongly tied to Sotoba, he thinks he should serve Sotoba. He actually loves Sotoba and it isn't easy being apart from it, but eventually he develops hatred towards it too,

Ah yes, you're right. Though I view Sunako like somewhat childlike -- she's like a mix between an adult and a child. Or perhaps my judgement is clouded thanks to her acting as a child and my having not analyzed her. I'm wondering though; can her incomplete childhood at the time of her transformation affect her development and maturity? Things turned unhealthy when she was transformed, and I think she's been damaged by it a lot. You're right in that Sunako's emotions getting the better of her has more to do with her own person and not because it's a kid thing. I truly believe that she doesn't want to be called -chan because she's an adult and that's too childish. (someone once said about how Sunako reminded her of Claudia? from Interview with the Vampire. I watched it a few years ago without subtitles and my listening skill was lacking, so I don't know much about Claudia)

Another theory -- among many things that attract Seishin to Sunako, which perhaps also has quite an effect on him, is her will to live. What she has gone through has been damaging her, but most of all she just wants to live. Her will to live ignites him, and when she breaks down it'll also have bad effects on him, so he does what he does.. (one reason among many things)

eee is that a reference to actual Death Note scene?

So maybe the problem here is that Seishin and Ozaki never really talk face to face. It's kind of a weird situation that you sometimes get with friends; at the beginning of the friendship, you have really long conversations when you're getting to know that person, but then once you know them really well, with some people you just run out of stuff to talk about and just decide that you know everything about each other.

Maybe that's how Ozaki and Seishin are right now--they've known each other for so long that they don't feel like they can just get to know each other any more. And if they did, they could probably have some conversations like Sunako and Seishin. You know how sometimes you meet someone new and you feel like you can tell them anything, just because they don't know anything about you and therefore won't judge or wave you away? Maybe that's how Seishin feels with Sunako.

And now that I think about it, throughout the story Ozaki and Seishin never really had any 'deep conversations'. All of their meetings seem to center around work, so I wonder what they'd do if they just hung out. Seishin kind of tries to initiate that conversation with Ozaki by asking him if it's really right to kill Shiki if they're still like humans, but Ozaki is too far gone; I think in order to have a real discussion, the two people should have some doubt and be ready to be convinced. Ozaki is not open to any of Seishin's arguments, therefore they end up not discussing again.

I think Ozaki's just very pedantic and consumed by his work. His job, essentially, is to keep the village healthy and safe--with a work ethic like his, what would he think if the villagers are dying one by one? In his mind, it would be that he is not doing his job. How can he relax if he feels that he's not doing his job?

So he's poring over books and medical texts and musing over new treatments to try, he's got no time to go out and just hang out. Although his attitude remains carefree, he's busy and under a lot of pressure. When working with Seishin provides the possibility of finding a solution to the problem (gathering data about the deaths, keeping watch over Setsuko) he's more than willing to spend time with his friend.

It's easy to see Ozaki as being cold and dismissive of Seishin, but if you look at it that way, Ozaki is trying to save the village while Seishin is preoccupied with his existential crisis. And we can also see why he doesn't talk to Ozaki about it--he knows it too. Perhaps he thinks that burdening his friend with his lengthy philosophical talk while each minute not spent on working on a solution is a minute wasted, is a mockery of Ozaki's efforts.

Yeah...major lack of communication! Seishin tends to overthink everything, so it would make sense if he does not talk to Ozaki in fear of angering him (even though he wouldn't be angry, probably). That's something I'm guilty of too. Dang, part of the reason I love Shiki is 'cause of the characters. They're all people you can relate to and root for ^__^

Anyway, you just did something awesome--I didn't really understand Seishin's explanation of his story in the anime, of how the two brothers tie into his own self, but your analysis is so easy to follow, I think I get it! I didn't make the connection that the younger brother is his perfect outside self, and that he thinks that his 'real self'/older brother is a heretic who would be banished. And sometimes one just really wants to be themself, which is why he'd want to 'kill' his outer facade.

Also, it makes sense that his outer priest role is the younger brother, because he created it later than he was actually born.

I like the facade idea better, but I also think that the two sides can be two sides of his personality in a slightly different way. Like the younger brother is the side of him that is actually gentle and nurturing, and the older brother is the side of him that is more cynical and 'empty' (as Ozaki says). And the death of the younger brother occurs toward the end of the story, when Seishin leaves for Kanemasa. As he falls backward into a kind off faint after talking to Ozaki, that could symbolize something inside him dying (the younger brother)? So the Seishin that is left is more blunt, proactive, and determined--and it kind of takes Sunako to bring this out in him because what brings out his determination is being focused on keeping her alive. Towards the end of the story when he tries to escape with Sunako in the forest, he is also wandering through the wilderness. When he rises up, he is also the younger brother--but now he's not so separate from the other half of himself.

I don't even think I made a lot of sense...but there's so many different ways to look at them, aren't there?

I've not seen Interview with a Vampire, so I don't know... I was also wondering if Sunako's development was influenced by her remaining a kid. I haven't read a lot about it, but as people get older, their hormones balance out or something...so that means that Sunako has perpetually unbalanced hormones (which is an idea people could use if they wanted to write SunakoxSeishin fanfiction :S) which would actually be a factor in her being more emotional than would be appropriate for women of her age. I think her acquisition of knowledge can let her have control over it though (she also uses her knowledge to suppress her fear of religion, allowing her to enter the church and read the Bible). That's true for everyone, but if the hormone thing is true, she needs to use her knowledge to balance her emotions extra-hard.

Another thing is that children apparently learn faster. You've probably heard of this, but children can master foreign languages better, right? And they're naturally more creative at thinking outside the box. So those can be factors for how much Sunako knows, and her ideas. Seishin thinks outside the box too, so he's compatible with her.

It also says a lot about Sunako that instead of going on crazy killing sprees once figuring out that her wounds heal and that she's immortal, she instead seeks to gain more knowledge. I feel like that's a similar personality to Seishin.

Yeah, that's an actual DN scene!

8D -- Yeah, communication is basically a problem to many people of all kinds of personality. Even if they happen to be similar or compatible, lack of communication can still do damages. And communication actually heals. The lack of it is neither Toshio nor Seishin's fault though.

'they've known each other for so long that they don't feel like they can just get to know each other any more' that, I agree. Their friendship is as old as their own age, and they have begun to be close friends even since their personalities hadn't fully shaped yet. They grew up with each other, they pretty much witnessed each other's growth even if it's kinda not complete. Does the word 'communication' even appears on their mind? Or, they realize about it enough that they are able to name it and then consciously attempting to act on it? Seishin perhaps does it on impulse, he feels like he should talk to Toshio, about anything really, but does he even realize what his attempt is? Considering he does a lot of things without even putting a name on them = not 'fully' realizing them. His arrested attempts are perhaps also because he doesn't even get what he wants to do? Because not all people fully act on impulse, and someday it'll die down too. (this is perhaps weird, but based on how I sensed on occasions that 'Seishin wants to reach out to Toshio but his attempts are halted' (those few times before things get serious between them))

Both Toshio and Seishin probably don't think that they should (or they better) talk to each other, in order to fully understand each other. Perhaps they think what they know is enough. Or they think that they already know much about each other that they don't think any talking is needed at all. Or they just have known each other for so long that the word 'communication' hardly appears on their mind even if they intuitively know that they should talk.

Shiki's plot doesn't really allow them to have a heart-to-heart conversation. Perhaps this is also an issue Ono-sensei deliberately put here. And it'll all lead to the point where their differing principles/personal values clash to the point mere conversations will not be able to mend it. Both their principles are right, depending on who sees it. Right or wrong is in the eye of the beholder.

I think what Toshio's doing isn't merely a duty -- it's also his pride, his identity. His justice which is a part of himself, one thing he should defend with all his might. His personal values which make him the person he is. That's why if he ever experiences a change of heart, like what you said before about hypothetical aftermath of Shiki from his perspective, I think it'll give rise to some angst, even if he actually realizes that his heart is changing. I think he'll blame himself, even if it's hardly his fault. Every survivor experiences trauma to some degree; Sunako, Seishin, Toshio, others. It's perfectly okay if his opinions on things differ, perhaps influenced by his trauma or even some other things, but I think he'll not readily accept that and it's sad.

At times I myself tend to be more open to strangers than my closest ones, so here I can directly relate. Some other times though, I just want to trust my impulses and roll with whatever comes to the best of my ability, where I choose not to think too much and leave things to my body instead.

Ahah 8D I'm glad you find it easy to follow. Was afraid I didn't make some things clear. I think the reason the younger brother doesn't hate on his older brother is probably because as part of one person/Seishin, as the facade, he ultimately knows which part has to survive. He knows which part has to disappear. Both sides benefits from each other to some extent, both sides love each other, but it's come to the point where they cannot coexist, so one has to go -- though here it's clear which part. But in the end, the 'real self' was hurt, because it's lost a part of himself too. Seishin perhaps is attached to his facade to the point it's no 'mere facade'. Perhaps part of him wants to actually become his facade, to the point he's incorporated some traits of his facade into his real self. Losing his facade hurt, but losing his real self hurts even more. So perhaps all this happenings are for the better too, because it means he can start over. This time I hope he can aspire to be truly happy, whatever his means are -- but haha it's perhaps difficult, considering things.

Ooops, did I just spoil something for you? I won't be talking more about it, then. More than hormones though, I was actually talking about the concept where someone's childhood shapes them to be an adult they are becoming. Happy childhood, sad childhood, will be very influential. While Sunako's is very much an unhappy one, thanks to a Jinrou who transformed her. (a Jinrou, right?) After her transformation, experiencing death only to be revived again, being locked up and so on, her parents didn't actually talk to her anymore, learning that she was a monster all by herself. I cannot imagine. She was all alone, and this time she doesn't want to be alone anymore. And only her own kinds want to accept her, so she wishes to create a safe haven for her and her kinds. That she's also aggressive towards Seishin, must be influenced by this too. People usually crowd around others whom they can relate to.

I actually want to see Toshio and Seishin kiss... though I also want to see them kill. I want to see them both kiss and kill. I want them to go at each other's throat. Fluff isn't actually my thing, and I wish for more action between them. I want them to get more aggressive towards each other, even if it insinuates some negativity too hahah.

(I just realized that Toshio is actually handsome too, and thought 'at this rate what if I'm going to somewhat crush on him?' lol)

I think communication is more important than it is detrimental, but it is potentially detrimental too, or else why would people avoid it sometimes? Revealing your true feelings is all well and good, but those true feelings might be hurtful to the other person. For instance, while hearing Seishin's real feelings (canon feelings such as his own personal view of justice, let alone our interpretations of his resentfulness) Ozaki might get kind of freaked out and maybe label him as crazy.

Although not to that degree because they've been friends long enough for him to accept Seishin with all of his quirks, but he might just be unable to understand; "Why would anyone waste their time contemplating that kind of stuff when this outbreak is happening? That's way too much work." Or he would see Seishin as fragile and keep things from him because he doesn't want him to become even more dark.

And if Ozaki revealed his own feelings, say telling Seishin that he believes all the Shiki must die to save the village as a whole (that's basically what he does in their breakup scene), that would be so against Seishin's morals that Seishin might just leave him then and there.

And as a real-life example, if you have negative feelings towards someone, it's best to just keep quiet, right? One could confront them, but that might not do much good because it probably won't do any good and now they'll think you're crazy...that's why people usually are civil to those they dislike, also to avoid coming off as an unpleasant person. Maybe that's just me though, I'm not very confrontational.

Anyway I'm just thinking that Seishin is afraid of Ozaki judging him for the reasons I specified, which is why I think he doesn't reach out. And like you said, he can't even interpret his own suicide attempt, so how would he expect Ozaki to take him seriously? Plus, another theory is that Seishin just hangs out with Ozaki out of inertia and holds him in less esteem than he deserves. Although Seishin admires him, he probably underestimates the depth of feelings Ozaki might have toward Seishin. Ozaki considers Seishin his best friend, and probably hangs out with him because he likes him, not because he's used to it. But simply because their personalities are so different, Seishin may interpret it as not caring--and I think he could interpret Ozaki correctly, but he's kind of preoccupied with his own existential crisis, poor guy!

Ah, I think I can analyze a little more about he little brother! I get why the little brother died, but I was also wondering why he continued to pursue the older brother as a Shiki. I think it was either because the little brother is a memory of the dead facade, or if it was because there was a ghost of a facade left. To elaborate, after Seishin's public persona is cast away, he must still remember what kind of a strain it was like to see it there. So he might have some regrets, such as "would I have been a better person as the perfect priest"? So it still follows him like a shadow...and like a Shiki, it comes out at night because night is when people get all their profound thoughts. Or, maybe it's because the facade still lingers. I think when Seishin kills it is when he leaves Ozaki in the graveyard and goes to Kanemasa. There, he's still gentle and indecisive. He's passive, and he still needs Sunako's help to interpret his attempted suicide. After they've done that, and after she's gotten threatened, is when he casts off the remains of the persona and does what he wants for the first time in his life: he wants Sunako to be by his side, so he saves her. It's ironic how the new Seishin, the older brother, is a jinrou, while the little brother who is supposed to be a Shiki, was who the human Seishin was.

If you were to develop a crush on Ozaki, you wouldn't be the only one by a long shot!

8D -- I can somehow see Toshio keeping certain things from Seishin lest he becomes more corrupted. He's even demonstrated it before. Not for preventing him from becoming more evil though, but the action is similar. I can also see Toshio faring better with Seishin leaving him than the other way around though.

Seishin is really a curious character, Toshio is much more easily understandable -- but that's what makes him more intriguing to analyze. What you said about Seishin underestimating the weight of Toshio's feelings for him though, that makes me wonder. What if that's because he underestimates the importance of his own self that he also underestimates people's feelings for him? It's possible. As for the theory on Seishin just hanging out with Toshio because of lifetime of a habit though, I'm quite against that. As shown in certain parts in Shiki, where Seishin admits to feeling he had to be Toshio's breaks ever since he was small. I think this has less to do with him actually caring about others to that degree that he looks after them, and more because he's 'set' on a certain goal that's very much Toshio-related. I chose to conclude this because Seishin doesn't actually care that much about others, other than what's the standard. If he's so hellbent on making others happy that he forgets about himself (that others' happiness is his happiness) then I'd be against this conclusion. (tbh by how submissive he is he seems like he's the actually caring type, but considering his upbringing, duty and his depression I don't think that's because it's how he actually is) He cares a lot about Toshio, he purposefully makes his life revolve around the man, to the point he'd like to 'control' him, that's because of this said 'goal'.

I have another theory in that, Seishin is actually an atheist but one might ask why he was still here in Sotoba? I think, that also has to do with Toshio, along with his duty: because Toshio chose to be a doctor. Seishin once said to Toshio that one had to follow his own dream, to which Toshio is undecided. But finally Toshio submitted and became a doctor, which I think, a big factor that sealed Seishin's fate back to square one -- becoming a monk. If Toshio chose another goal, perhaps Seishin would also choose not to be a monk. Toshio is his tie to Sotoba.

I think just how like Toshio's clearly affectionate towards Seishin, so is Seishin towards Toshio. Seishin often seeks comfort from the man. Visiting him regardless of the hour shows his selfishness, disappearing without announcement shows it too. It's funny that Seishin rarely thinks about Toshio, but his actions always cater to his needs -- while Toshio often thinks or talk about him fondly, clearly sentimental he is about him, while his actions don't show it, because he doesn't act for Seishin. He moves towards his own goal, but in the process he moves Seishin along with him (perhaps unknowingly), until that destined moment.

Seishin's a romantic and he's somewhat cliched from the looks of it -- the cliche in romantic works, in that one needs another to define themselves. He clashes with Toshio, what if he eventually clashes with Sunako too? One of my biggest dreams is to see Seishin standing on his very own two feet. For now this is still quite impossible perhaps, but I'd like to see him to someday when he's older, stronger, wiser. He's got a near immortal life now -- I believe he will, someday.

I assume you do too then? Lolol, but yeah Toshio is a very admirable man. Btw, you have a tumblr right? I have one too 8DD

I feel like Ozaki knows Seishin better than Seishin knows Ozaki, oddly enough. Although it's Seishin that always muses about human nature, we also talked about him having Ozaki as a sort of ideal: respected by the village on his own terms, hardworking, honest, etc. But somehow when Seishin leaves Ozaki to go to Kanemasa later, I get the impression that he doesn't really know Ozaki that well. he seems shocked that Ozaki would go and exterminate all the Shiki. In fact, throughout the whole story, I feel like the outbreak is a good opportunity for Seishin to finally get to know his friend--and he realizes that he's not perfect after all and does horrifying stuff that is against Seishin's beliefs. The more that Ozaki tries to fight the outbreak, the more disgusted Seishin is by him. The beginning of it was when Ozaki kept the existence of the outbreak a secret, and now Seishin is also seeing a new side of Ozaki with his vampire theory; perhaps he never thought that Ozaki of all people would believe in vampires.

On the other hand, Ozaki seems to have Seishin figured out. He recognizes his inner darkness and is his friend despite it. And he's not surprised when Seishin leaves for Kanemasa; that moment when they each realized how different they were, they took it very differently. Seishin was betrayed, maybe heartbroken by how different Ozaki turned out to be from who he thought he was. Whereas Ozaki, although he maybe expected Seishin to help him with taking down the Shiki, once Seishin left he was calm about it, like "yeah, that's something that Seishin would do."

And I don't know any significance about this off the bat, but didn't it seem like after they separated, Seishin cut himself off from Ozaki quickly, while Ozaki kept thinking about Seishin? After all, the only time Seishin really mentions Ozaki is when he warns Sunako that he's very capable. It's like he's given up on him. And Ozaki thinks about Seishin a few more times. A scene I have in mind is when Ozaki's truck passes Seishin's car with Sunako in it after they've escaped Kanemasa. Ozaki looks at Seishin, sort of betrayed but unsurprised. Remember, Ozaki never did know about Seishin's interactions with any of the Kirishikis; I like to think that in that moment, he understands a lot. "Aah, so he probably formed ties with those Shiki, I should have guessed--that's Seishin all over." Meanwhile, Seishin stares straight ahead, which shows that he's focused on his new mission and realized that since he's no longer compatible with the humans, he won't count himself as one of them. Perhaps he avoids thinking of Ozaki because it's so painful?

Yeah, I don't think that Seishin absolutely doesn't care about Ozaki, either...but we can look at his hanging out with him as a duty too. I'm thinking maybe Seishin hates Ozaki a little and this goes hand in hand with his resentment of Ozaki for being his 'ideal'. Perhaps he feels like Ozaki is great and it's Seishin's duty as his friend to keep him in line (who else can do it except his childhood friend?) and protect him from committing sins. It's actually similar to how Ozaki views Seishin, isn't it? Ozaki sees Seishin as fragile and sometimes keeps things from him to protect him. In this case, the way they respond to one another is similar.

Also, like how it's ironic that Seishin, although an atheist (or believing in his own God) is still more spiritual than many people. He has a very strong moral code and it seems like out of all the characters, he is the one that values life the most. Ozaki values human life, and is willing to kill every Shiki to protect it. Sunako values Shiki life, and she is willing to kill every human to have the Shiki survive. And yet both of them are religious (Ozaki -> Buddhist; Sunako -> Christian) while Seishin is not. I also find it very fitting that Seishin replaces Tatsumi in taking care of Sunako; Seishin values all life, while Tatsumi values no life. Although they almost don't interact, they're good foils to each other and are united in protecting Sunako.

I like the idea that Seishin became a monk because Ozaki became a doctor! I remember that one flashback where they're in school and Seishin tells Ozaki that they should be able to do what they want in life. Ozaki doesn't quite look like he disagrees, but you can see his rebelliousness is not quite on par with Seishin's. Perhaps Ozaki's idea of doing what he wants is different than Seishin's; if I were Ozaki, maybe I'd want to go and study law in Tokyo. But I'd also want my parents' approval, and I'd want Sotoba to have a doctor who took good care of its citizens. I'd want to stay close to all the people I grew up with. So while this is Ozaki's idea of doing what he wants, Seishin's is breaking away completely and going off on his own. In fact, at the beginning of the series Ozaki is the one that has what he wants (a stable career, and respect while still being himself), and at the end it's flipped because Ozaki has lost all that and Seishin finally gets to go out and be himself with Sunako. But I feel like Ozaki will take it well, due to his personality.

Seishin is definitely on the way to being strong and independent; I believe the ending implies this. I'm actually hoping the novel ending will give us more closure and hints about their future to talk about, but the anime and manga have Seishin making independent decisions (saving Sunako, killing Ohkawa). Actually, maybe he's so assertive because he's finally doing what HE wants. He wants to protect Sunako, therefore he doesn't hesitate in taking the actions necessary to achieve this goal. Really, it's not too different from how Ozaki must have felt while carrying out his goal of saving the villagers.

Maybe the reason I'm a little less than fond of Seishin is because I'm just jealous of his chemistry with Ozaki XD I do have a Tumblr--it's 11cat, follow me!! Let me know who you are so I can follow you too~

8D -- ...I think I'll refrain from analyzing Seishin deeper in the moral horizon scene onwards for now, because I want to wait for the novel translation. For me, the anime/manga are not really reliable as a source for analyzing. (my belief that there are quite significant differences between the novel and manga/anime in these scenes still stands. It'll disrupt the pattern as I've been analyzing Seishin from the novel material)

My opinion differs in this; I think Seishin knows Toshio more than Toshio him. Not because of some special cause but mainly just general stuff: Toshio doesn't strike me as that private of a person. Perhaps because he's extroverted, and I think extroverts tend to be way more open than introverts. Toshio isn't even ashamed of his supposedly failing marriage (I think he does realize deep inside that his marriage isn't going so well; he just keeps the status quo without giving it much thought, perhaps because he doesn't think of it as that significant) and isn't concerned about what people think of it. He is what he is and he's proud of that, for better or worse. He's very chatty with Seishin, and so he tends to whine more and hides very little. Naturally Seishin will know a lot.

While Seishin, aside from 'his hiding lots of things because he doesn't want to be judged', I think he's also a very private person in nature. He's introverted, and usually introverts are more than happy to be secretive. I think Seishin's case is more like a mix of these two aspects. He exposes very little, and naturally Toshio will not know much, unless for those rare occasions where Seishin lets himself known unconsciously. (but whenever these happen, Toshio's pretty awesome to correctly understand what he actually is. His conclusions seem usually spot on. But I think Seishin is also like that too, regarding Toshio. That's why he leaves, because he knows they've gone separated paths completely. They've come to understand one another so easily because of their deep friendship which is as old as their age.)

Seishin is spiritual in nature, and what he wants the most is something he can connect with and follow. Once he actually finds this he'll be the most faithful follower. Unfortunately it's fruitless, that's the impression I got. I still don't completely understand his speech to Sunako (rereading Seishin chapters is in order) Toshio, though, I don't really think of him as excessively religious. I somehow have a feeling that Seishin is a big factor that ties him to Buddhism (the way he's fond of the temple and its incense, and Seishin) if it's true it's kinda ironic, that they're what tie one another to Buddhism.

Ah, Tatsumi. I really admire his loyalty, despite his being hundred times stronger than Sunako (Yoshie too). Someone had an interesting opinion, in that unlike Seishin Tatsumi will let her die in the fire and follow her, perhaps also jumps in the fire with her (a bit unsure about the latter but sure about the former) -- because he knows it's what she actually wants. He's witnessed all the struggle and the pain, and thus he'll understand that Sunako too will someday have had enough. She's a Shiki, but while she has a second chance at life it also brings her great pain -- she becomes a murderer even if she doesn't want to, and that all of this distances her from the God she loves most. Not saying that Seishin doesn't understand her, but unlike him Tatsumi will make a decision based on her best interest, not his own.

Strong and independent, I also believe so -- but as Shiki is not a happy story, I think Seishin will not exactly live a happy life, as do other survivors. I do entertain an idea that while he becomes stronger, he'll also become more evil as in more selfish and stuff. All he's done while in Sotoba is following orders, so I think it'll be interesting if his jinrou self will do an exact contrast of it. While Toshio... I don't know, but I have a feeling he'll be haunted by memories of the past -- Seishin is what comes to my mind. He doesn't know that he also survives (and becomes a jinrou at that, what a surprise) and so he recalls a lot, saddened to an extent perhaps. And some years later he's older and encounters Seishin again -- who still looks like his 33 year old self lol.

I'm elvent on tumblr, and I already followed you~ 8DDDD

Haha okay, yeah it is pretty hard for anime or manga to portray Seishin's monologuing. I think most of his characterization comes from those monologues rather than his actions, and he doesn't do a whole lot (compared to other characters). So have you read the entire novel then?

I'm actually starting to get kind of pissed off at the anime and manga for not following the novel more closely. I'm naturally biased towards the idea of "wah, no adaptation can be better than the original"...compared to the novel, the anime now seems kind of basic, putting Natsuno and Tohru and Megumi more into the spotlight than Ozaki or Seishin, the true protagonists of the novel, for the sake of fanservice. I have to remind myself that there was a reason I got into Shiki; Natsuno and Tohru and Megumi's roles are all still well done regardless, as is the creepy atmosphere and the OST. I'd still want to see a straight adaptation of the novel but I don't know how well that would go considering it's so long and has so many monologues and thoughts that might be lost in transition. It would need a lot of funding, maybe preparing for over 50 episodes...and then it would have to go very slowly too; it's hard enough to keep track of who's who even if you're reading the novel. And possible viewers would probably drop it because it's so slow, so in the end it would have to cater especially to novel fans, and there's not enough of us for them to profit from making such an anime.

Regarding who knows who better, I agree with the introvert/extrovert characterization, but also paradoxically I think that by revealing a lot, Ozaki reveals very little about himself. Ozaki complains and chats a lot, but it's about very superficial stuff; he's not very introspective. But that doesn't mean he hasn't got a personality. Often when people are feeling unhappy but don't want anybody to know something's wrong, they'll act cheerful and talk to things that aren't related to anything. So when Ozaki does talk, I imagine he'd rarely reveal his inner thoughts (He would say "My mother's such a nag, hahaha" even if he's feeling "My family's been oppressing me all my life, maybe if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have had to ruin Kyoko's life by marrying her and giving her a husband that doesn't love her, what kind of a man am I").

For instance, in the anime it's shown that Ozaki was somewhat intimidated by his father and didn't want to end up like him. If I'm not mistaken, he's alone at this time and it's never shown that Seishin even knows about those kinds of thoughts. We have yet to get to that part in the book, but perhaps it's just that he doesn't see his personal problems as important enough and pushes them aside (which is also kind of heartbreaking in a way).

Whereas although Seishin talks perhaps less, when he does talk it's more about morality and personal feelings, stuff that reveals his true feelings and beliefs about the world. Therefore, if the one he's talking to listens closely and perceptively, they can perceive a lot about Seishin as a person just by hearing his opinions on the world around him. Ozaki doesn't seem very perceptive, but then again he does have a sense of the emptiness inside Seishin and never lets him know that he knows. So I got the idea that Ozaki's hinted to be more perceptive than he seems. But then the reason that Seishin ends up being more understood by Sunako rather than by Ozaki is probably because after she figured out parts of his personality, she discussed it with him and helped him come to terms with himself, whereas Ozaki probably didn't think it was necessary to bring it up, or didn't feel comfortable entering into a conversation of that sort.

And since Seishin is more introspective and has thought a lot about human nature, there's no doubt that he understands 'people like Ozaki'--he kind of talks about it during the seme chapter (ie, everyone wants to be the center of everything) but that doesn't mean that he understands Ozaki himself. And finally, Seishin is constantly being surprised by Ozaki whereas Ozaki is never really surprised by Seishin. It seems like Seishin knows more about how Ozaki 'should be' and looks up to that, but fails to see who Ozaki really is.

I feel like Seishin will gradually start doing what he wants in the future, now that he's not being judged by God, and I think that'll actually make him happier. All his life, he's done what's expected of him and is also afraid of bringing down divine judgment on himself. He essentially won his own happiness at the end when he went after his own whim and spared Sunako, so I think there'll be more where that came from. Yeah, he's a great foil for Tatsumi; Tatsumi puts Sunako first, and Seishin finally learned to put himself first.

And I followed you! :D

8D -- that's the problem: I'm not able to read the novel. I only understand a little Japanese, which is definitely not enough for me to be able to read a work like Shiki. (adult works like that, I assume, are more difficult to read than light novels/manga for teenagers.)

I definitely share the sentiment. In my eyes, the original version will always be the best. Most canon too. So even if I find that the adaptation is better, or that I apparently like it more, I'll still refer to the original version because it's like, an absolute truth to me (lol). I respect canon very much. But in this instance, the manga/anime adaptation isn't as good as the original, which makes me even more irritated. (Though I take immense pleasure in the OSTs, because they're that awesome)

I think, just like how people in real life are, however extroverted they may be there will always be some things they keep to themselves, even from their best friends. Perhaps Toshio thinks of his determination to not end up being like his own father as something like a vow, and not something Seishin actually needs to know. As for whether Seishin knows about how his relationship with his father is or not... I think he somehow knows to a certain extent. Seishin is also pretty sharp at many things, and he grew up alongside Toshio. But this is only a guess.

Toshio is definitely perceptive, and I know he's not as shitty as he lets on. I think Toshio does notice things about Seishin, but he doesn't really understand their roots (he will over time though), unlike Sunako who thinks she can relate to Seishin on many things. She's already interested in Seishin as his own self, as the writer of the books she read. She deliberately makes aggressive moves towards him, and is happy to make lots of conversations with him. (though I somehow get the impression that they're not as alike as she initially thought) I agree that Toshio doesn't think it's necessary to make conversations like this, but I think it's also because he doesn't really know how, as he doesn't understand the roots of these things he notices about Seishin.

I do think Seishin actually knows Toshio as himself aside from knowing how humans work, but I agree that he perhaps become so used to the idea of ideal Toshio that it can blind him on occasions. But deep inside, he knows how Toshio really is.

I bet Shiki would be hard to read even for a Japanese teen. So do you still read light novels and manga? Reading is one of the best ways to develop one's knowledge of a new language.

Same here, I'm definitely an original adaptation snob! I see the novel as the way the story actually is, and the manga and anime are both creative adaptations of it, but still not the real thing. I hate myself for it because I absolutely hailed the anime as my favorite, but now I'm not so sure since it's not direct; its focus on Natsuno and Megumi rather than Ozaki and Seishin seems trivial now whereas I never minded it before. Maybe I should rewatch it to get myself back in the groove.

Yeah, also I think that part of the reason that Seishin and Ozaki aren't on the same page is because of Ozaki's method of dealing with Seishin. Like okay, he knows that Seishin is melancholy and depressed and contemplative about many things, but as a friend, the way he tries to deal with it is by trying to bring Seishin outside of himself, if that makes sense. Instead of leaving Seishin trapped inside his own thoughts, he tries to get Seishin to help him with work and suchlike and introduces him to outside problems (also could be a reason as to why he came to him with his vampire theory, despite that he's his go-to person in general). Because he isn't as introspective, he could be like "I bet Seishin doesn't really want to be burdened with those issues--they're only in his mind, they'll go away if he just won't think about it". I'm not making him out to be a horrible person because it's not a faulty method; people do feel better if they can take their mind off what's bothering them sometimes. When my friends have problems, my first order of business is to see if I can help provide a solution, and the next is to drag them out to hang out somewhere so they can cheer up. The problem is, Ozaki misses the first order of business. I think Ozaki's distracting Seishin by bringing him 'outside himself' works too, though, because Seishin does like to be around Ozaki. Where he failed and where Sunako succeeded, however, was that Seishin did want to talk about it too, and Ozaki thought it was unnecessary.

People can be perceptive but not know how to help others deal with problems, too. And Ozaki's method of helping Seishin would probably work if Seishin was more like Ozaki himself, it's just that Ozaki might not know how to approach Seishin too. It may be that since they're so close, both just kind of assume they're past that, and Ozaki tries to subtly help Seishin as much as possible by teasing him and spending carefree moments together.

Sunako is much older than Ozaki, so of course she would be a lot better at it. I imagine that she's read a lot of books on philosophy and psychology, so her natural perception is aided by what she's picked up, and she understands human nature well as a whole, and that means understanding Seishin. I think she knows very well how people work, and I'm actually looking forward to some novel-only Sunako material that shows this. There has to be a reason why she's gathered such a large following over the course of her life.

Shall we agree to disagree over who understands who better? XD It's definitely clear that they have the greatest bromance, though.

I actually don't really read novels lol. Even if it's in language I know, I usually don't have the patience to read through one, not to mention I'm super easily distracted and often needs more time to understand what a paragraph actually means. Light novels are still pretty thick in my opinion, but I'm strangely more willing to read if I don't get to see how thick they are, like online writings or even fics. Even for Shiki, my favorite work, I still struggle to read through parts which don't include my favorite characters in it. Mangas are better, but I still lack the patience to read through the details at times. But I've downloaded raw version of Shiki manga and it's indeed easier to learn Japanese from it (I do it by comparing it to the English scanlation).

The manga and anime used to be my favorite, because they were the ones I could get. Now that I'm able to read the novel, that status is quickly thrown out a window... I sometimes feel like an ungrateful brat for this, but usually I'm just meh. But I still admire some qualities of the manga and anime; I love the black-and-white drawing style of the manga and the anime OSTs. But regarding changes, the anime and manga just took it toooo far for my liking.

The impression I get is though, Toshio probably doesn't even realize that Seishin is having issues. He's able to sense that there are strange things within Seishin, but it's just that. For example, the suicide attempt: it's been 10+ years but Seishin is still fine and he hasn't repeated the attempt, so perhaps Toshio thinks Seishin's over that. He doesn't know that it's still in Seishin's mind... because Seishin is so private about it. He guards his own issues so strongly that it doesn't even show on the outside, so people think he's fine. Of course as you said, there's perhaps also the matter of Toshio kinda dismissing Seishin's issues/problems because that's what he'd do to himself. (If his marriage is any indicator. Imagine Seishin being in his position; it'll be all over his mind, where he contemplates about the meaning of his marriage, its effects on his person, perhaps also to his kids if he had any, and perhaps possible solutions even, etc etc) I think it's in his personality, but I don't think it truly applies to his going to Seishin because I think he doesn't really realize that Seishin's having issues. He perhaps gets that Seishin has something in his mind, but he doesn't get how deep of an issue it is to Seishin. I think Toshio goes to Seishin not because he wants to drag him out of his mind, but more for his own self and for Sotoba (because Seishin is one of the village leaders). Not to say that he's a bad person for this, but it's because aside from him not knowing, he also doesn't approach things like Seishin does so he doesn't know how to approach Seishin even if he does know about his issues, like you said.

Ah yessss I'm all for Toshio/Seishin relationship. One thing that kinda pisses me about the anime/manga is they aren't shown to be as intimate as how they're in the novel lol.

I suppose it's better though if you read slow but take time paragraph by paragraph to get the full meaning of the work plus your interpretation of it, rather than going through books super fast without getting anything out of them. The best books are the ones you can read over and over and get more out of them each time. The key to novels is perseverance! Even if it's long, if you keep up a good pace, you'll get there in the end, plus you'll get that satisfaction of having finished it. My favorite type of book is either a long, long work like Shiki, or a long series of shorter works. This isn't a recommendation because I'm not sure why I like this work anyway, but I...I am a big fan of Warriors, or Warrior Cats. They're like light novels.........in English! I've read them since I was in elementary school, and, uh, I'm still going strong. It's about cats, but it's very dark and deals with a lot of real life issues such as diversity and acceptance; it has a lot of gray and gray morality. Kieli, a light novel series by Yukako Kabei is also good. It has 9 books, and all of them have an official translation, but of course I read them in English. I'm trying to learn Japanese too, but I never have a lot of time to so my knowledge is limited to basic vocab and grammar. I'm hoping to eventually (like a decade down the line >_<) be on your level, or, dare I hope, Sinnesspiel's.

Yeah, I feel like I can't fully appreciate the anime now...I started rewatching it, and within a few minutes I felt like yelling at my TV, "what the hell is this, there is like 500 pages worth of material BEFORE the first episode. And where's the episode where Atsushi trespasses by the Kirishiki house? (because I would have REALLY loved to see that. Imagine if they included the scene in the anime, along with the OST music---it would be glorious!!)" I scoured the internet hoping for a novel translation that would give me a deeper appreciation of the anime...yeah, be careful what you wish for.

I wonder what would happen if Seishin and Ozaki did switch places. Setting aside nature vs. nurture (because I'm sure nature really formed their personalities more than nurture), but I think it makes sense that Seishin would turn out how he did, and how Ozaki would too, because of their backgrounds. Both of their positions are very demanding, but the most demanding are their families. I think it's easier for Ozaki to be sassy and outgoing precisely because his parents were so overbearing; he has a fighting spirit, so since their family is very verbal, Ozaki would very often have arguments, but he would form his own opinions about practicing medicine. I think Seishin cannot do the same because his parents are more vague about what they want out of him; whereas Takae is all "you have to do this, this, and this", I imagine that Seishin's parents want him to "be a spiritual leader, and kind and understanding all around". You can't argue with that, so Seishin is more subdued. Ozaki's parents seem more specific, so he can think, "I don't have to do it quite like that", or "I can have the same effect if I do this differently", so he is overall a good doctor, but on his own terms. Strict parents are so much easier to rebel against. Seishin's parents are demanding too, yet gentle so that one can really feel that they want the best for their son---for that, one would feel guilty NOT trying to be a good priest, because there's no satisfaction in disappointing well-meaning parents. I think that's why although they both have very demanding positions, Seishin is more resigned to his role, while Ozaki takes liberties with it. I bet if Seishin was in Ozaki's place, he wouldn't have taken a wife at all. He's rebellious in his own way.

To be more specific about Ozaki understanding Seishin, I think he can accurately deduce the problems, but he can't relate or respond the way Seishin needs him to, so that's where he falls through. Actually, that got me thinking, when Seishin slit his wrist, it was probably Ozaki that patched it up. I think Ozaki's the type of guy that would think that what would work for him works for others too---he may be afraid that talking about it would make Seishin feel even worse, and Ozaki's the type that makes a problem go away by taking action or taking his mind off of it instead of contemplating it like Seishin. I'm kind of like this in that respect because I like to kind of ignore past events by doing something else, and when I think back on it, the problem seems more trivial. Obviously, said problem isn't as serious as self-harm, but thinking about problems in the heat of the moment disrupts your ability to think rationally so it is logical to cool off first. I think part of why Seishin was so taken to Sunako was because she didn't shy away from sensitive topics, even actively brought them up. To someone who is used to thinking them over by himself, having someone to talk to provides a new way of looking at it and is good therapy.

I wish there were more Waka moments too. Still, after starting to rewatch, I like how they subtly made it apparent that Ozaki and Seishin are good friends, such as the ease with which they work together gathering information, as though they've had a lot of practice as a team. Seishin seems more relaxed around Ozaki, and Ozaki also speaks more conversationally, putting aside his usual bedside manner.

8D -- I guess first I have to work on my patience first. Now and then I'll go back and reread some chapters of Shiki and often be surprised: 'Wow, I didn't know that happened!' Little details like that, which help me getting the big picture. It's nice. Perhaps there's also a factor of my being incredibly picky, and I have weird tastes. Not exactly easy to be met, so I don't really bother looking. It's like that with manga and anime too.

I have faith that once you have the time, you'll be able to be fluent in Japanese quickly. You seem to have the discipline, and that's important. Talents are one thing but discipline is what ultimately leads to success.

It's okay if now the anime/manga will never sit well with us. I think we're not the only one, and people have their own style. We'll just revel in the beauty of the novel then. 8D

Everything is a mix of nature and nurture, in my opinion. They were born in certain way but ultimately shaped by environment, so I think there are parts of their nature that lay dormant because it's not really developed thanks to that environment, and there are parts that are more developed and have perhaps undergone modification several times. Seishin and Toshio kind of resemble their own parents, so I kind of agree with what you said. Seishin's parents indeed look extremely private themselves, even they don't show much emotion like Seishin does. I bet they actually rarely talk to Seishin, so Seishin perhaps kind of learned to not talk to anyone from them. Toshio's parents are outwardly demanding and opinionated, so in turn it also helps shaping Toshio. But in the end, these 'development' or 'modification' will not stray very far from their nature. People have their own limits too. I kind of want to see this too. Seishin is arguably just as rebellious as Toshio, even if he does it more silently.

Uhm, when Seishin slit his wrist, he was currently not in Sotoba. It was in his dorm when he's around 20 (I think it also said about sophomore year at uni?) so he was taken to the nearest clinic. And when he tried to return to his dorm, his parents were already there and caught him (having been contacted by his friends I think), and he was taken to Sotoba, where he was then interrogated by the temple people and the Yasumoris. I think perhaps at this time Toshio hadn't been notified, med students are busy and all and since this is a sensitive matter, only those who are directly related to the temple are notified first. Or I could be wrong and Toshio was also notified at the same time, since he's Seishin's best friend, but as far as I'm aware he wasn't among those who interrogated Seishin. The probability is he was also there at Sotoba but we've been shown about how he didn't understand Seishin's attempt himself so he didn't try to interrogate Seishin about it, or he had also been notified but was currently outside Sotoba. I think the latter is more likely/closer to canon since in that reminiscing chapter, as far as I'm aware he doesn't mention Toshio at all.

Toshio's very confrontational but regarding Seishin I think he investigates more than confronts? He confronts, yes, but from what I've seen in the novels it's when it relates to other stuffs they need to get done. When it's about Seishin himself, Toshio observes and analyzes more. He perhaps kind of thinks of Seishin like some sort of complicated and weird puzzle. But perhaps this is also the problem -- unlike Sunako who's much more upfront about it, Toshio doesn't. He perhaps notices a lot about Seishin, but for some reasons, he doesn't talk about it. Perhaps because he thinks that he doesn't qualify for therapy sessions. Perhaps, he thinks he doesn't have any right to bring sensitive topics up because he's aware of how private Seishin is.

Sunako is... a stranger, so she wasn't exactly aware of what kind of person Seishin really is, but it all turns out good for both of them because Seishin apparently needs the discussion. I'm kinda like him, in a sense that I'm a hella secretive person and all but when I'm already in conversations, it suddenly spills... it happens a few times with my friends. I didn't find for solutions, but it spilled because I just wanted to talk/already in a suitable mood for it. To unburden myself a little. The whole time it rather felt like I was making a statement tho, not exactly pouring out my heart. Sunako perhaps senses that that's what Seishin needs, she's strangely perceptive. At first Seishin also doesn't mean to talk about private matters with Sunako, but Sunako cleverly goads him little by little. Seishin also perhaps doesn't mean to talk about stuffs with Toshio, and Toshio perhaps knows.. more at a loss he is, the more he situates himself to just investigate. Both Toshio and Sunako mean well.

But they erased all the bedroom scenes, I'm so displeased >:(

The first step to accepting your weird tastes is realizing you have them! I know what you mean, most of the works I've enjoyed have been those that just jumped out at me unexpectedly; I rarely go looking anime to watch or manga to read in general because I don't want to be distracted from my other stuff, like school obviously, and then I'm also working on an original book and I want to learn cooking~ XD haha My motto is 'aim high'.

Well said, I also think a big dose of determination is more important than any natural talent. I'm really against anything that says "Oh, this is due to genetics and other natural factors" (that is, personality traits, I don't extend that into genetic illnesses and the like). I firmly believe anyone can make themselves be the kind of person they want; it could be up to fate, but your options aren't limited to the ones given by birth.

The novel is all we need. <3

yeah, they do resemble their parents a lot. I like how for instance, Ozaki is outspoken like his folks, but still there's a part of him that's purely "Toshio". He knows the kind of person he wants to be, and he goes for it. I also like how the similarities with parents are brought out--against his will in Ozaki's case. He spends the whole anime (maybe novel) angsting about how he doesn't want to be like his father...but towards the end, he's definitely taken some actions that would have made his earlier self recoil. By this, I'm not contradicting my earlier statement a couple paragraphs up by saying that he's doomed to be like his ancestors, but it's really putting Ozaki's dad in a new light, and his understanding too. Ozaki always disliked his father for taking some measures he disagreed with, and yet he had to do the same later. Now he can't chalk it all up to his dad being a 'bad person', because really sometimes it's circumstances that drive people to take action, and his father, like all people, would have had a drive other than just being a nasty guy.

Seishin is more understated, but he's a lot like Shinmei , at least in the way that they both crossed over to the life of the okiagari despite being priests, and having been married late. (Obvs, Seishin's not married, but if he were to marry now, it would still be marrying rather late). Perhaps Shinmei was another rebel like Seishin. ...That leads me to wonder, what would Seishin's wife be like if he had one? I wouldn't be surprised if she was a chain-smoking lady with messy hair and dreamy brown eyes~

Ah okay, thanks for clearing that up. But still, I do think Ozaki would have known early about his suicide attempt. Seishin would have had to actively keep it a secret, and there's even rumors going around in the village, and since the whole village goes to the Ozaki clinic, he'd know eventually. He definitely knows, but what would the situation be like if Seishin was hellbent on keeping it a secret, and Ozaki found out from listening to the villagers' rumors? Then, he'd know about it, and he'd also know that Seishin doesn't want him to know.

I think it shows how much Ozaki cares about Seishin that he investigates rather than confronting. One way to determine that you have feelings (not even necessarily romantic) towards someone is if you change your normal behavior towards that person. A possible explanation is that Ozaki knows that he's normally very straightforward--and Seishin isn't. He knows that he shouldn't outright ask him about issues Seishin's not comfortable with, so perhaps he investigates to find out how he can probe the issue. He doesn't want to accidentally damage relations by being too direct; Seishin's the kind of person that would close up and insist it's all right when really he'll be emotionally distancing themselves from Ozaki. Simply because Ozaki is normally brash and confrontational doesn't mean he can't be otherwise, but anything that makes him be otherwise should be pretty darn special to him :p

I'm like that too, where it takes the right stuff to get me to say anything. Usually, I would complain about trivial issues like Ozaki, but when it comes to things that really matter, I usually keep it to myself, sometimes letting it out though. Sunako's a very perceptive individual...you know, I think it's likely that by reading all of Seishin's essays, she could gauge his personality and worked off that during their discussions. Although they're strangers, sometimes you just 'click' with people, because you're kindred spirits. You can be very different from each other, but all it takes is a similarity at the core, and that's something you can perceive remarkably easily sometimes. One of the things I think both the novel and anime do well is showing Seishin's growing connection to Sunako; it happens quite fast and it's not like they talk alll the time, but it's enough and you can see the impact that it's making on Seishin at least. Perhaps in the novel they'll go the other way too and show the impact Seishin made on Sunako (apart from the church scene at the end).

(as for bedroom scenes) There there, that's why fanfiction exists XD

8D -- I want to write an original story too, but I keep changing ideas. Projects end up being abandoned while still in early stages, and that really ought to change.

My parents have always said that med school requires discipline first and foremost. If you have a high IQ, that's good, but it's not going to be enough. There are people who weren't born with inborn talents but are highly determined, and there are people who were born with one but lack motivation. I do think the former tend to be more successful than the latter. My parents and sister are the former, and according to my Mom, I'm the latter. Obviously my situation has frustrated her several times, that I could be more but is downright lazy. I perhaps have 'talents' but because I lack determination, they get me nowhere really. I really admire people who are determined.

I think Toshio is the former, Seishin is perhaps the latter. Toshio is very diligent, definitely the type med schools want. What I get from Seishin is he understands stuffs easily. He doesn't get Toshio's babble to the smallest details obviously, but he gets the big picture. He's an author and has to research a lot of things on his own, so he must be pretty smart. But he isn't really the ambitious type from the looks of it. He can be a perfectionist, but isn't really ambitious. Toshio is more of an ambitious type. But if we look at other causes -- at times it's hard to stay motivated when it's regarding stuffs you yourself don't actually love to do. There are people who want to be the very best even if they don't actually love what they do, there are people who are less inclined to if they lack passion.

That's one of reasons why i love Shiki. New understanding on things. Not just the main characters, but basically everyone. The whole Shiki ordeal changes everyone's life, and because it's Shiki, it's all spiraling down. I know some spoilers from someone who've read the novel, and they are in my opinion quite terrible. Shiki is not a happy story, everyone's got a sad ending.

Oooohhh I really like the mental image. Seishin/fem!Toshio looks really awesome. 8D

I do think Toshio is among those who found out early. Perhaps from Miwako, or from his parents... (I imagine Takae would perhaps mock Seishin and Toshio would be absolutely enraged) Since Toshio is one of the village heirs and higher-ups, I think it makes more sense if he knew it from the other higher-ups. At that time the higher-ups would try to keep it a secret from the other villagers too. Definitely not from Seishin, and since he heard nothing about it from Seishin, he would've known that Seishin intended to make it a secret. I really want to read about this certain matter, if only Ono-sensei also wrote about it. While the news were still raw and Toshio's feelings were mixed and complicated, what did he do? Did he try to outright confront Seishin, something that would make the man close himself up even further? Did he use a more subtle method?

Ah, you just made my shipper heart happy~ but I think there's no argument that Seishin's not, arguably, the most important person to Toshio (among those in the village really). Whether he admits it or not (likely not really), whether he has deliberately put some thought on the matter or not (I don't really think so). Could be not romantic in nature, could be one (but he doesn't know it -- I don't think Toshio will easily recognize love even if it bites him in the nose).

I have a suspicion that Seishin is generally a person who easily gets attached to people. He's a romantic after all (all the more if he happens to click with them). Sunako is definitely attached to Seishin because she identifies strongly with him. People like Sunako definitely know how to get under people's skin, I think. Even though I don't doubt that there are quite a lot of things about Seishin that will surprise her (I think it'll be apparent the longer they're together post-Shiki. People change, and the whole Shiki ordeal will definitely change people), Sunako's managed to solve a big deal about Seishin when others cannot, including Toshio. Toshio only gets glimpses about Seishin, but then again he doesn't actually read his novels (where people will know more about Seishin than if they know him in person). As his best friend for 30 years, I'm sure he'll reach a new height in understanding were he to read them as well. Though I don't doubt that they'll also shock him. The novels are full of metaphors, but I'm sure in time Toshio'll be able to solve them too.(I'm pretty sure he read his essay, but I don't think he's read his novels. There's no indication in canon too)

Speaking about post-Shiki period, I think Toshio will buy 'Shiki' when it's already out. I kinda don't want to imagine that he'll age when Seishin will not. (Imagine what will happen if they'll meet again years later?) Sunako clinging to the idea of Seishin that she idealizes, that basically only exists in her mind because the current Seishin has undergone a lot of change. In my fantasies there's cancer involved too (there's actually a Toshio/Seishin fic where Toshio ends up dying from lung cancer. Gdi I'm so afraid for him)

But sadly there aren't many Shiki fics :(

I have the same problem with writing! The story I'm working on right now is one I've been kinda conceptualizing for the past few years, actually. I think my problem stems from the fact that I know exactly what I want from it and what kind of writing it will be, so I tend to get discouraged if it's not perfect, just the way I want it from the first time. I've been trying to just sit down and write without worrying about it, for the sake of writing instead of achievement, you know? Actually, that's something I should learn to do more in general...

I'm interested in going to med school, too. Anyway, don't be too hard on yourself! I doubt there's anyone that is so strong-willed that they can't let themselves do anything other than the subject at hand; obviously such a person would be successful, but really unhappy. I think people need 'lazy time' to be healthy--that's exactly the same logic as taking study breaks or snacks, except applied to days instead of minutes. If you've been working hard for a few days, you should also take the time to give your mind a break over the next few. If not, your focus would waver just because you're human. Everyone works at their own pace; don't sweat about being 'determined', I think it's more important to do what you set out to do while remaining comfortable and unstressed. As for motivation, what always works for me is studying far from anything...whenever I study, I don't study in my room, but in the dining room where it's always louder, mostly because my laptop and music aren't there to distract me. I tell myself, 'you will NOT unstick your butt from this chair until you finish THIS!'
I'm ranting about personalities and habits more than I usually do today XD. Best of luck in school! My own school year's starting in a few days...*holds back tears*

A big reason why I especially love the novel Shiki is because although the events are pushed forward by the Shiki and the things they do, it still has strong (and not so strong) and well-rounded characters that make it all the more entertaining to read and also push the plot forward. I guess the anime does this too, but I adore good characterization; the novel made me see a lot of characters in a new light.

As tempting as it is to ask for the spoilers, I wouldn't do that to myself! I actually love sad endings, lol. Or if they're happy, I want them to be bittersweet. I would say Shiki is bittersweet, actually? Because although Sotoba is gone, the Shiki are gone too. I would have liked it a lot less if at the end, Sunako triumphed, or if Ozaki triumphed (despite that he's my fav character).

I would like to see a fem!Ozaki! I'm wondering, if in the story, fem!Ozaki was canon, and was pressured to get married, what kind of a husband would she have? Assuming she doesn't get together with Seishin, ofc. I think Takae would try to find her good suitors and marry her off, and...actually, she would probably consider Seishin a good suitor. But then fem!Ozaki would have to go live at the temple (or vise versa) and I don't know if that would be acceptable.

Oh man, now I really wish Ono would have written about that too! D: It's definitely right that Takae would mock Seishin (she's already jealous because the temple outranks the Ozakis), gosh what an annoying mom...my parents also sometimes make fun of my friends, and it makes me really furious.
I think it would be in character for Ozaki to talk to Seishin about it openly; as he's different from the rest of the villagers and not all that bent on delicacy, he would be more upfront.
But even Ozaki would maybe realize it's nothing to joke about, and unlike normal people that he teases, he really does care about Seishin's feelings here, so he may be subtle like the rest of the villagers. I wonder if this wouldn't make Seishin resentful, though, and disappointed in Ozaki because he'd expect his friend to treat him different from the rest of the villagers.

That's another reason I really enjoy Shiki; it explores all kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones. If you go to the movies or even look at other anime, all of them feature romance as the default relationship, whereas there's so many variations of them to explore. Even if Ozaki and Seishin aren't romantic, they still have an interesting and deep friendship that's lasted for a while, and starts fraying from the tragic events around them. It's absolutely heartbreaking. Also, there's Ozaki and Kyoko--not In Love although they're husband and wife, but they still have mutual respect and a lighthearted partnership in banding together against Takae. Or even Natsuno and Tohru. Akira and Kaori (sibling love). Masao with his family. The nurses and Ozaki. I could go on all night, but the point is...they're all unique relationships, and I like em ^^

I feel like the writings that Ozaki did read, he didn't take them that seriously, unfortunately; he did put them out for clinic visitors to read. I wonder about Seishin's reaction to this. I imagine him thinking wryly "I knew that'd happen. Well, I did want to reach out to a wider audience", or something. But by doing that, the writing also lose some of their privacy and personal-ness. Instead of something that Seishin poured out of his heart, they're now just abstract works about his hometown that most people have read.
I also imagine Ozaki reading more of his works and thinking about them over a cigarette for a while, and then saying that it's Seishin all over, kind of like how he accepts Seishin's "betrayal" at the end.

Lung cancer...Toshio...nooo! Shiki needs more fanfics. And art ;-; Maybe we should collaborate on something.

This is probably not your style, but I think you should relax a bit? 'Going by aims' is something good, but perhaps incorporating the whole process stuff will make it more enjoyable. Don't abandon the whole achievement thing if it's your style though. They say there are two types of authors -- the 'architect' and the 'gardener'? (this is from George R. R. Martin post on tumblr) you're probably more the 'architect' type, one who needs to construct the whole thing first before writing. The 'gardener' type is more the 'let it flow' type, or Seishin's style. Both are all good, it all returns to the individual anyway. What I'm saying is if you feel somehow pressured or discouraged, I think you can perhaps make some 'change' to your style, by incorporating things that make the whole thing more enjoyable, but don't completely throw your own style away? Because it's 'you', it's who you are, and I don't doubt it gives you enjoyment too. If going by achievement makes you feel good and gives you enjoyment, go for it! But if it makes you too worried about how it all turns out, then this side of the whole thing needs a little change. Perhaps listening to relaxing music can help, or going somewhere relaxing...

Haha, the problem is I'm not even the slightest bit hard on myself! I'm too lazy. I'm a person who's moved mainly by interest, but the problem is my interests can evaporate in mere minutes. When that happens, I'll move like a ghost. I really need to work on being more diligent. (what kind of a (med) student I am?) Interestingly, like you, I also seem to make more progress when studying at loud places. Preferably public places. The whole atmosphere just prompts me to make as much progress as I can manage. It's weird, but thinking that I can only be there at a few hours at most makes me more fired up. While being all alone, all relaxed, with my laptop nearby will kill my mood to get things done. Best of luck for you too!

If you're interested in going to med school, you should totally go for it! My lecturers often ask us students "what are you even here for?" because most of med students here (probably in other places too, haha) go to med schools not because they actually want to. And that's not really good. Interest will undoubtedly make people last a while, and why should you do something you don't want to do? You'll probably end up screwing med school anyway, like that. If you're only going for money, be a businessman. Doctors aren't as rich as them, they're just above average financially, and so on. There are indeed people who eventually find passion in medical professions even if at first they didn't, but med schools are just too demanding unless there's some degree of determination even if lacking interest.

In the end, everyone loses -- I think it just suits a work like Shiki very well. I actually don't really like sad endings, but perhaps like... define sad. If it means my favorite characters dying, it'll be downright frustrating to me even if I love serious and deep works which often include tragedy. Shiki isn't as distressing to me because Toshio and Seishin don't end up dying. (There's a time where I was Natsuno-biased and was saddened when he died, and glad when he came back -- but then my bias dissipated and then I was displeased because it was a bad move for the plot) but I think, for every survivor there's a sad and terrible future waiting. Probably true mercy will be death when the whole ordeal happened.

I think the households Ozaki and Muroi are meant to stand separate, and a marriage between their children will be unacceptable. Probably if both households have more than one child then it'll be considered, but if not, it's just not happening ever. Say if either Toshio or Seishin is a woman, and they end up getting married, the woman will need to change her surname and can no longer be a successor to the hospital/temple. And there's the rule of both households to find suitors for their heirs from outside Sotoba too. Both households have to stand separate so both the hospital and temple can go on.

According to Sinnesspiel, since one doesn't talk about suicide in Japan Takae will perhaps be more discreet about it. Not saying the word 'suicide' directly but perhaps she'll imply things and making references to rumors that have already spread, but Toshio will definitely be able to pick it up anyway. But since she completely ignores Seishin's existence she'll perhaps not bother with it largely, unless she's truly pissed off. About Toshio; he largely doesn't bother with anyone's private matters (now that I think about it, Seishin isn't special because I can picture him doing that to others too) and Seishin's suicide attempt is one thing he still can't understand anyway, so I don't think he'll confront Seishin about it. I think Seishin will prefer people to just lay the matter to rest because he himself doesn't understand why he did that, and so he'll also expect Toshio to. He's uncomfortable when a stranger (Sunako) points it out, so when people he knows also do that, he'll really not like it.

Speaking about relationships, I actually don't like fluff all that much but probably, remembering that Toshio and Seishin's fluffiness will not last makes me cherish it even more lol. I somehow want them to try to kill one another post-Shiki for a mere fact that Shikis and humans cannot coexist even if they don't actually hate each other. Or it could go even more 'distressing' given the nature of Shiki. If there's ever a sequel to Shiki though, I think it'll be unavoidable that now Seishin and Toshio will end up dying.

Actually, there's one scene of that-- looks like Seishin is indeed annoyed. Since Seishin writes for publication and all, logically he'll want to reach out to people, but perhaps the reaching out to people thing is more subconscious for him. He primarily writes because it gives him comfort, and like you said, to pour his heart out. Probably also a method of working on his issues.

Post-Shiki, I do imagine he'll want to read more of Seishin's works even if before he didn't really do that. Admittedly I don't think fantasy-supernatural genre is his thing at all (he'll probably prefer factual books ). He probably doesn't expect that Seishin will survive at all and I can just imagine his shock when finding out that 'Shiki' is out published, one thing I think that prompts him to buy it, among many. After that he'll probably try to get his other works if he can manage that.

Especially novel-related fanworks are... down to zero, perhaps. Collaboration is a nice idea. The novels definitely need more recognition.

First of all, so sorry for the recent silence! What happened was the school year started and a lot of my free time is applying to colleges for next year, so I have minimal control over my schedule. Also, I joined a club; yay!

I know, I know, I should take it easy more often. I've been trying to work on accepting things as they come, but that's haaard. It clashes with my personal philosophy of trying to control the outcome of anything if possible so that it's always in my favor. Architect is a good way to describe my writing; I actually wish I was more of the 'gardener' type. Whenever I have to write an essay for class, we usually use outlines, and that does make it easier to be precise and organized, but the downside is that the writing doesn't flow that well and sounds stunted. As long as I get a good grade it doesn't matter, but with fiction it does. ...I guess the reason I enjoy writing is because you can't measure how well you did with a grade. It's just for me, nobody has to read it, and that's really comforting. I do listen to relaxing music...sometimes the Shiki soundtrack, haha. Thank you! I tend to psych myself out with my own attitude, so it's good to have friends to balance me out.

I don't think you should be hard on yourself, would it work if you were motivated by rewards? Such as, 'If I do all my work for today, I can treat myself to ______'. It can be tangible, like going out to eat, or just a positive emotional reaction. You know that great feeling you get after accomplishing a hefty task? You could think of that as a reward too! Uhm...another thing that helps is making a to-do list, just to keep your ideas organized if they're all over the place. Haha, my school hands out homework planners for us every year, and at the beginning of the year I dutifully write all my assignments down and check them off as I do each one, but after a few weeks, I decide that it's too much work.
Laptops are evil. You need them to do work, but they're so distracting... ;A;

Never fear, I do want to be a doctor because it's what I want. I can't pretend money isn't a factor, but I do have inspiration and a solid interest in it. You're so lucky you're already in med school, it seems so far away for me. Do you know what you want to specialize in?

I suppose I like endings that are satisfying and make you think a lot. Leave a lasting impression. For me, those are usually the sad ones. If an ending's badly written but sad, I wouldn't like it, say if everyone died just for the sake of ending the story. I like bittersweet endings that still have some hope, but something's just fundamentally changed and the characters are different people...like in Lord of the Flies (one of my absolute favorite books, btw), at the end the boys that are stranded on an island get rescued, but they now have no innocence and a cynical view of their society and human nature. In short, I like characters that drive the story. I like watching them change and react and sympathize with them. Ironically, in Shiki I guess it's Natsuno that I sympathize most with even though I don't like him. I agree that his death was more effective if it was actually a death...I'm glad the novel killed him off for real--not because I want him to die, but because it's a more satisfying conclusion. Plus, I'm excited to see Ozaki kick butt all by himself.

Even if people don't discuss suicide so easily, it's still kind of up in the air whether Takae would discuss it. She's too proper to openly talk about it I suppose, but she's shrewish and hates the temple, so she'd probably drop discreet hints. She already doesn't approve of Ozaki's friendship with Seishin, so I think it's a given that she'd imply it more towards him. I can easily imagine that's the kind of thing she'd do, and it would piss Ozaki off even more. I wonder if, at the point in the story where Sunako mentions Seishin's scar, if it were Ozaki that mentioned it what would Seishin's reaction be?

Going back to when we discussed something earlier about sometimes being able to more easily confide in strangers than close friends, I'm guessing he'd probably wave it off as not a big deal. They're already such good friends and so used to being around each other that maybe he'd think it would ruin their easy friendship if they discussed a bomb like that out of the blue. I guess, if it's a stranger you'd reveal more because you're just getting to know each other, but if you're already friends both parties just kind of assume they already know everything, and new information would feel weird. There's also the possibility that Seishin would disregard it just because he would think Ozaki wouldn't understand (buuut, seeing as Seishin himself doesn't understand, perhaps he's afraid of Ozaki making him understand, not wanting to face the truth. Well, Sunako makes him eventually).

Aww, it brings me pain thinking about Seishin and Ozaki dying. Well, if mostly everyone already died, what would it hurt to have two more kick the bucket? Out of the two, post-Shiki, I bet Ozaki would be the one trying to find Seishin and reading all his books. I can imagine him going into bookstores looking for copies and then reading it over coffee and a cigarette. (Actually, wouldn't it be interesting if he was so traumatized he stopped smoking? And the last scene in the anime is his last cigarette?) I'm sure that out of the two, Ozaki would be the one more likely to go back and look for closure on what happened. While Seishin finally discovered his true self and achieved the freedom he wanted, Ozaki has to deal with the fact that he lost (he said he lost in that last scene too, because he didn't save the village) and everything he's known in his life is now gone. Unlike Seishin, who really didn't have any ties to the village or his profession, Ozaki certainly did.

A post-Shiki fiction would be fun to collaborate on! Like a series of one-shots about Ozaki and Seishin's lives after the events of Shiki. Maybe one of them visiting the charred remains of the small mountain village... I think it would be way harder to write about Seishin than Ozaki. I have a pretty good idea about what Ozaki would be doing, but Seishin is a different story. He's a different person too, so his character prior to his Shikification doesn't stand anymore.

8D -- I’ve been wanting to mix being an architect and gardener. I don’t think Seishin’s totally aimless style of writing would work for me, and I don’t know about G. R. R. Martin himself. I want to at least set the aims of my writing to provide a direction, will perhaps also set some major events up from the beginning too... but for the smaller things, that’s where I’ll go full-gardener at. Considering how easily bored I am, I think writing short stories will better work for me too.

Ah, please don’t worry. =w= Speaking about to-do lists though, I really need to work on being faithful to them. I think I’m better at adapting to things as they come rather than planning out things ahead in long term. The latter tends to make me more anxious of the future, which I don’t like. I prefer a stable state of mind, even if I think my mind can be somewhat detached from outside matters this way? I always need something to busy me from the inside though, usually by thinking or meta-ing about a manga/anime, or working on original works. (Not a day passes without me thinking about Shiki as well). Admittedly I hate being overly desperate about something, even if this kind of mindset does make my life flat. Though a portion of desperation is always, always needed. I guess we just have different life philosophy... I’m not the ambitious kind but I desire stability mentally and physically. Having ‘audiences’ also helps keeping me on my track, knowing that others set their eyes out to assess you, but the downside is this makes me too submissive at times. Self-doubt is a nag. On one side I’m independent, but on the other side I’m depending on others a bit too much.

Then it’s good for you, go for it! Unfortunately, it isn’t exactly like that for me. It’s not that I dislike med school, as I happen to like it too. I guess my heart just isn’t fully in it yet. It also has to do with self-doubt about whether I could be a good doctor or not, but I mostly keep myself from getting too wired up thinking about it. There had been lots of inner battles about whether I wanted to enroll in med school or not too. I came from a medical family, so there’s some sort of expectation and hope... not that my parents are very hellbent on me about it like Toshio’s parents, but you could say that I’m a child living in my parents’ shadow. I’m too anxious to get outside of their influence.

I think if not an internist like my Dad, it would be a cardiologist. And you can totally do that – I know you can! You also have to be a better med student than me. ;D

Of course Toshio would kick butts – he’s the deuteragonist of the story. (Typically it should be the protagonist, but alas it’s just not the right time for Seishin to shine yet. He’s admittedly kind of a dim protagonist lol) It’s really interesting seeing him move about too. Toshio’s admittedly quite reckless, tending to jump into whatever it is immediately without caring about who he fights and execute things without long term, proper and detailed plans. I wonder if he’d blame himself somewhat for this post-Shiki. Granted he’s already so regretful at the Setsuko incident...

I initially dislike sad endings, but I also approve of good writing leading to satisfactory, even if sad, end. With Shiki, it’s easier for me to accept sad ends knowing that Shiki is, well, just not a happy story. But it does take me time to accept the idea of Seishin and Toshio dying. Now I can accept it more, but perhaps not fully yet. Just like how it took me time with Natsuno. I love serious, deep and dark works, but when it includes my favorite characters dying I’ll dislike it immediately. It’s like I’ll accept anything done to them except them dying. I also love exploring characters’ personality traits – particularly their negative ones. What I mostly do is exploring Seishin’s negative traits too. I love seeing and learning about these imperfect people. I think that’s why I tend to sympathize more with the antagonists the protagonists, except if the protagonists also happen to have demons inside them. Well, all of this is once I can get past my initial judging of them.

Ah, I also really like Seishin and Takae’s interactions. They are so apathetic about one another it’s amusing. Takae still whines though, so perhaps inside she’s still reeling. Seishin is the one with pure apathy. I think people would be shocked by Seishin’s hidden capability of not-caring. I can see her ‘picking fights’ with Toshio about Seishin’s suicide. I’m still wondering about Toshio’s feelings about this matter. I’d imagine a lot of shock and bewilderment. Wondering if there’s also anger and sadness somewhere (logically it is). Since I think Seishin’s attempt could be seen as somewhat a traitorous act towards Sotoba, I’m wondering if somehow, Toshio would also see it like that since he represents a system that’s Sotoba. I’m wondering if it could also be seen as an attempt to wrench himself away from their bond. It’s like an act of gaining independence and being his genuine self, and he cannot do it while he’s still trapped in their bond – trapped in Sotoba. I also like the idea that while he didn’t mean to die, eventually the attempt killed some parts in him, and gave birth to other new parts like a new him. That all of the Shiki ordeal began with his attempt years ago. It’s all so symbolic.

Toshio mentioning Seishin’s scar will make him revert back to his shell though, so Toshio has to be real careful. I somehow imagine Seishin being irritated, which would perhaps escalate into a fight... By the way, I also agree with your ‘good friends’ part. Toshio and Seishin’s friendship is a constant thing to both parties, a picture of stability and familiarity. Talking about a kind of bomb like Seishin’s suicide will perhaps taint this sort of bond, since it forces them to think and consider things outside the realm of familiarity of said bond. Toshio also said about how it’s as if he didn’t recognize Seishin who tried to attempt suicide – perhaps that’s why he shies himself away from the matter, knowingly or not (rightly or not). He prefers the familiar and perhaps he isn’t ready for a ‘different’ Seishin. The suicide matter is something that pretty much exists only in the background, even if sometimes Toshio indeed takes time to think about it. Fortunately for Seishin, this kind of attitude is in his favor. Perhaps Seishin also feels this way, which is why he also refrains from talking about it with Toshio on top of his not understanding it. Could be because he isn’t ready to face the truth yet too. (speaking about this part, I didn’t think of it before.) Sunako is the one ‘lucky’ enough to see a real glimpse of Seishin, but too bad she doesn’t appreciate it as it is. When she sees Seishin, she pretty much only sees herself.

I have a feeling that Ono-sensei keep them alive just to make them suffer more. (I still love you and respect you very much though, Ono-sensei <3) By the way, I just had my exam about pulmonology... and I once more thought about Toshio as I studied. (Cancer isn’t the only threat, COPD too. Not to mention cardiovascular disease) I’m perhaps even more afraid for him post-Shiki than Seishin. I’m afraid he’ll be even more into smoking and drinking in this period, on top of mental wounds and scars. Because like you said, he has deeper ties with the village and his profession unlike Seishin, which would leave him even more scarred. Granted, reading Seishin’s works will likely make him regret things more, and then continue to beat himself over stuffs.

I think for me it’s easier to write Seishin. I feel more confident writing him because I relate to him quite a lot, but even his post-Shiki self is still lost to me. Perhaps I’ll be able to slowly work through things as new chapters come, but I also feel inadequate with the thought of writing about adult life and all that jazz... instead I want to write about what I’ve been curious about them, which is their childhood and adolescence. I don’t know yet about adult life (with jobs and all that), but I know about being a kid and teenager. But I like your idea too, though it’ll need more researching. 8D

All the best of luck in school! 8D

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Shiki Novel Translations 2.10.6

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