sinnesspiel: (Working)
Sinnesspiel ([personal profile] sinnesspiel) wrote2015-10-23 03:11 pm
Entry tags:

Death Note The Musical - Subtitles.

Death Note: The Musical
It's about as gay as you'd expect Death Note crossed with musical theater to be.

Urai Kenji Version (Brown Hair)
2015
Current subtitle version: Non-Otaku Version 2.0 - download | Otaku Version 2.0 - download
Hard-subbed:
Non-Otaku Version 2.0 - download (693MB) | Otaku Version 2.0 - download (2G)
Raw video:
 Encode + Upload : myheart1027 (2.9GB)  | Mediafire (2.9GB)
Alternate Raw Download: (Encode + Upload by [personal profile] kylara: | Mega (3.43GB) -- Subs will not match the timing for this, more of an FYI


2017
Current subtitle version: Non-Otaku Version 1.0 - download | Otaku Version 1.0 - download
Hard-subbed: Non-Otaku Version 1.0 - download (2GB) | Otaku Version 1.0 - download (2GB)
Raw video: Encode + Upload by [personal profile] dmitryakmon  | Mega (4.5GB)
Interviews only: (Hard-Subbed) - download
(Interviews are also in  [personal profile] dmitryakmon 's raw, the soft-subs, and the hardsubs.)

 
Kakizawa Hayato Version (Black Hair)
2015
Current subtitle version: Non-Otaku Version 2.0 - download | Otaku Version 2.0 - download
Hard-subbed: Non-Otaku Version 2.0 - download (1.32GB) | Otaku Version 2.0 - download (1.32GB)
Raw video:
Encode + Upload by [personal profile] kylara| to Mega (3.48GB) | Mediafire (3.48G)

2017
Current subtitle version: Non-Otaku Version 1.0 - download | Otaku Version 1.0 - download
Hard-subbed: Non-Otaku Version 1.0 - download (760MB) | Otaku Version 1.0 - download (760MB)
Raw video: Encode by [personal profile] dmitryakmon |  Mediafire (1.59G)  
Interviews only: (Hard-Subbed) - download 
(Interviews are also in [personal profile] dmitryakmon 's raw, the soft-subs, and the hardsubs.)



Foreign Language Versions:
'Tiếng Việt' (Vietnamese):
Phiên bản Urai và Kakizawa 2015 có tại Koike Teppei Vietnam!

České (Czech)
Stáhněte si verzi Urai 2015 na Death Note: The Musical – české titulky







Current subtitle version: 2015 - 2.0 ||| 2017 - 1.0

Update log:

Verison 1.0 - 2017  02/20/2021 - Thank [personal profile] tfallen for reaching out so nicely to ask/remind me I never upped Kakizawa's 2017 version and the interviews. Anyone into Shiki novel translations probably owes him some gratitude too; his message reminded me I should probably get back on the free translation train again. Amazing what buttering a guy up can get you, even if it's a few months later.

Despite swapping 2017 Urai's delivery of Where is Justice to be more like Kakizawa's 2015 subs, I ended up swapping Kakizawa's subs to be more like Urai's this time. I do feel a little more fortified in my decision since Kakizawa specifically mentions Light being less contentious in the song than he instinctively wants to make him (and presumably had been making him in the past based on what we see). 

Ryuk adlibbed in a girly role-language again, though slightly different from during Urai's; same disclaimer, calling himself a girl in third person is still just a language play.

Light talks to Ryuk more like a pet or a puppy than a girlfriend this time in the same scene, subbed accordingly. Doesn't actually call Ryuk a puppy but wanted to be sure the babytalk nuance carried for translating "dechu" for desu. 

Version 1.0 - 2017 - 12/10/17 The script is mostly the same as the 2015 one; I largely re-translated it and then went with the old translation unless I thought the new one was a meaningful improvement (in which case I tweaked the '15 scripts). There's about 15 minutes of new/extended scenes added, all of them in the first half.

Urai's first song (Where is Justice?) comes off very differently in the '17 variant, to the point I'm sincerely considering switching all the lines to the Kakizawa translation. The rest of his performance fits in with the old translation properly.

New translation notes for the '17 version are in blue below, kept in relatively chronological order.

Ryuk and Souichirou have new actors, so a lot of their lines were tweaked based on the different direction they took the characters; same issue I had with the Urai vs. Kakizawa scripts. The actual Japanese dialogue is still the exact same aside from some of Ryuk's. If anyone has any interest in what differences I subjectively took when doing the scripts, I'l be happy to post about it like I did the two Light, but I think most people would prefer I just shut up and give them their videos, ha ha.... ha....

Version 2.0 - 12/10/17 - Fixed a wrong colored karaoke line. While doing the 2017 version I largely re-translated and went with the old translation unless I felt my new translation was better overall, or better fit the new version. I think only 2 or 3 lines in the 2015 one got tweaked. All song lines.

Why is the hardest part of this musical for me the English portions? I better heard Ready for Love's Engrish part: it's not "It's all ready," but "If you're ready." Oddly, I could tell this line's correction based on one of Misa's back-up singers having more clear pronunciation in the '17 version. I heard the distinction when checking if the number of readys changed or if I was just hearing it differently--in the end, I kept two readys in the '15 version and kept it as one in the '17 because that's legitimately how it sounds to me in each. Note in talking to some Japanese fans some said that that in some performances, Misa (and Ryuk in his singing afterwards) says "I'm Lady, yes, a Lady" instead of ready.

Changed the line in Misa's Secret Message song from "our gods" to "the gods" since I decided if I was going to translate it more like a pop song with a hidden message song than a hidden message song that might pass for a pop-song (both Light *and* L seemed to miss the cues in the song--nobody ever references it) that I'd go with what sounds better in English. "Futari no Kami-sama" can mean our two gods or the two gods, so I went with that one.

Version 1.3 - 4/12/16 - Fixed a line of Light's in the song Death Note; misheard shinpo as shinpou. Thanks to CaO-M3 at Youtube for the catch! Having some problems with uploads, but hardsubs should be up any day now for all four versions of 1.3. Stuck with the MyHeart version of Urai's as it was reported to show less pixelation on faces.
Version 1.2 Kylara Version - 12/30/15 - Kylara's re-encoded both musicals for better quality and cut out more of the ads. Adjusted sub timing/resolution to the better video. Probably, any updates will be done to these videos, but I'm hoping I've caught everything this time around. Karaoke typo fix, one or two line tweaks. Will update links above when files are finished uploading.
Version 1.2 - 12/2/2015 - Harry Bell to Haley Belle, manga character reference. Finally got credits for the Kakizawa raw encodes. Created Kylara version for a likely better quality hardsub of the Kakizawa version. Adjusted a few Kakizawa Light lines again.
Version 1.1 - 11/15/2015 - Karaoke errors, things found when adjusting for the Kakizawa scripts, redid the last song Requiem since I still wasn't happy with it. Changed fanboy to otaku in Otaku sub versions. Fussed a lot over tonal differences. Made the Urai vs. Kakizawa script difference log.
Version: 1.0 - 10/31/2015
Mostly karaoke fixes. A viewer's already found two errors I missed so you'll be getting at least one more update. But I'll probably hold off until I'm editing the scripts for the Kakizawa version since that airs next week or so. By all means share any mistakes you see in the mean time.
Version: 0.2 - 10/28/2015
Changed Misa's Engrish rap portion, fixed some typos in the translation and karaoke, tried to consistently keep sentences following ellipses (...) lowercase unless it's a new thought or sentence, made some fast flowing lines stay onscreen longer, improved/added on-screen text translations.
Version: 0.1 - 10/22/2015
I just finished this last night and it's only gone through a few beta checks. I've been staring at it for about four days straight and would like some other eyes on it. So to everyone here with us at the very first beta launch to offer corrections: thank you.

Sharing:
Re-encode the hardsubs all you want and to share that .ass freely. Keep the credits if you would kindly, including for the original raw, unless you get your own raw and shift the timing to it. If you Youtube the songs a link back here would be cool in case there are any major updates or corrections.

All about .ass:
This subtitle set is in .ass format. While a lot of times you can just convert an .ass to an .srt or .sub file and basically get by fine, doing that with this file will be an absolute mess as I've included karaoke on all the songs and there's quite a few delayed/alpha subs which most other formats can't process. Without the spacing and font colors processed through the .ass file, the songs will take up half your screen in a jumbled mess and it's going to be chaotic.

VLC and Media Player Classic can both load .ass files. VirtualDub and most other encoding programs are also able to hard-sub them to a video.

Want to Translate This Into Languages Other Than English?
Awesome! Feel free to ask me any questions about the original Japanese if it'll help--some things might translate better into your language from Japanese than they did into English! For example, French/German/Spanish translators would get to convey more linguistic information than English with a character using tu/vous du/Sie, tu/usted at another character.

I hope that you'll maintain these subs' translation policies and standards, including providing some notes somewhere, but I have no way of stopping you if you don't, and very little way of knowing the quality of the translation if I don't speak the language.

When you're finished, if you write "You can download subtitles/the musical in (language) here" in the language you're translating it to, I'll also like to put a link to your site or your download link here to help people find it.

Want to Adjust this English Translation?
Unless it's a parody I probably don't personally approve of it, but I don't know that I have the right to stop you, and I do know I don't have the means. If you care, see my thoughts here.

Translator's Notes:

Script Difference Log (Urai vs. Hayato)

You might notice that despite only about one page worth of differences in what's said in Japanese there are quite a few differences in the two scripts in terms of Light's lines. For the discussion such, see the tone difference discussion. At this time the informal consensus is that subs geared to each actor's interpretation are the best and are not unnecessarily invasive, and that a "neutral" set of subs that I'd make if only working with the text script are not necessary. Chime in if you like!

Wording Choice

Since this is a musical, the prose can get rather purple. I mean this in terms of the original Japanese wording/grammar itself as well as the translation. If I were translating regular dialogue, there are things I'd certainly keep more plain and I wouldn't trend towards the poetic over the literal, even if at times the "feel" were off. I'd trust the work itself to carry the feel even with an at times necessarily clunky translation. At times in songs however, I do use the liberty granted to me by how shamelessly purple a musical it is to help better carry meaning. I try to phrase it so that viewers can get a feel for how characters are emoting certain lines or words. Though if it ever comes down to being outright inaccurate, I go with accuracy and assume the actors are capable of getting the emotion across even with the language barrier.

One example is Light's "boredom." In the opening number, Where is Justice? he mentions being overtaken by boredom. The word used is "taikutsu" which is a key word in Death Note. Every fan knows the key scene where Light declares that he took up the role of Kira because he was "bored." It's in answer to Ryuk saying he was bored. The word used, taikutsu, is a specific kind of boredom; it's not the same boredom as having nothing else to do (hima), it's more of a Sisyphean boredom, of being tired of what one is doing, usually for a lack of effect or change in anything, being 'bored' with the state of things. Of course in English the word ennui is quite fluffy and it'd feel wrong for a character like Ryuk to say it. If Light were translated as saying it, it'd not only lose the sense of match with Ryuk's word, it'd lose the flippancy it carries as a more common Japanese word.

Taking advantage of the purple nature of the musical, I translated Light's line about being overwhelmed by 'taikutsu' as "Overtaken by this boredom and ennui." The original line doesn't list two things; it's only taikutsu. But I don't have to worry about the line running a little long, it fits the tone, and the meaning is carried over better.

However, you'll notice for the lead in to the song Kira, in answer to Light's question of why he dropped the Death Note, Ryuk says "Taikutsu datta kara sa." This line was translated as "'Cause I was fed up." because it captures the type of boredom and the feel of his other word/grammatical choices. In the song itself, he uses taikutsu again. While I could have kept it consistent and went with "You get fed up to death with it" or something, since the context has been laid out by the prior translation and the song itself, the line "shinu hodo taikutsu" - You could die [because] it's so boring. - was kept literal.

Other examples include:

Literal translation: (Death Note) Either: We/They (human beings) haven't made any progress past the state of writing chain letters, OR This prank isn't any more creative or advanced than a chain letter.
Translation(s):
Urai: It's no better than a chain letter, we haven't progressed in the slightest.
Kakizwa: It's as bad as a chain letter, we haven't made any progress at all.
(See the tone discussion page for discussion on characterization/tonal choice differences between Lights.)

There's a similar line in the anime manga in which Light says "Fukou no tegami kara zenzen shinpo shichainai." The musical line is "Fukou no tegami kara nani mo shinpo ga nai." The only difference is the musical line comes with less dialogue-like grammar; it's cleaned up to be a good lyric. Just as the musical line, Light could be saying the prank isn't very advanced or he could be talking about humanity which is still doing pranks, or both. I went with both so as not to lock one possibility out, and I'd say either would be an in-character comment for him. But again, it's good for the audience to know they can write off either one if only one fits your view of the character/song.

Literal Translation: Light, to Ryuk: Can't you understand?
Translation: Try and understand, Dear? (Urai - 2017) ;Twy an understand, pwuppy? (Kakizawa - 2017)
Reason: Urai - Light's very obviously playing on a husband/wife gag dynamic from countless old sitcoms where the girl vies for the working male partner's attention and he's busy, then she pouts that he's always busy. I've heard others who'd seen the musical say it seemed flirty, and I agree and think it always has this dynamic. It only comes off as so obvious as to justify putting it into the text in the '17 video, at least for me.

In Kakizawa's, Light uses baby talk more geared towards pets, complete with a chin scratch. Desu is slurred to dechu. There's no reference to the specific type of pet but I wanted to make it clear there was baby talk slurring, and it's a short line that's hard to convey that in with the given words.

Literal Translation: (2017 only) Ryuk, when leaving to go to the kitchen: I'm apple. Are you apple? Where might apples be?
Translation: I'm Apple. Are you Apple? Where might a girl find herself an apple?
Reasons: Ryuk switches to an extremely feminine speech style, using "doko kashira?" since he's mimicking a girly popsong. This is a speech style used by fairly effeminate women or gay guys speaking anego, taking on intentionally feminine speech habits. (Or in this case, when Ryuk's playing around as a joke, complete with a throw back to Sayu's Ka-powie! line.) I thought translating it straight would lose this which is the crux of the joke, and I didn't feel it was out of the spirit of things at all. But I know fandom gets its knickers in a twist or runs wild with stuff so here's a note to explain it in case it goes anywhere. Ryuk does not literally refer to himself as or code as female, he apes a speech style once as a joke.


Literal translation: (Secret Message) We'll dye everything in the color you like.
Translation: We'll dye the whole wide world in the colors you want to see.
Reason: Sounds a lot better and I don't think it changes the meaning at all. But in general I prefer not to force my own interpretation no matter how glaringly obvious I think it is that she's talking about what they'll do as a Kira team.

Also in Misa's Secret Message, she sings the line "Watashi kowakunai." I translated it in the subtitles as "I won't be afraid (to run away with you)." However, it can also be translated as "I'm not someone to fear." I ultimately went with "I won't be afraid" because that'd be how the general pop-song listening public who aren't looking for a message to Kira would hear it, and because the rest of the song goes on to emphasize just as clearly that she's not a threat to Kira. I thought about translating it in a way that could hold both meetings, "there's nothing to fear," but there's already another line in the same stanza and chorus saying just that.


Literal translation: (Cruel Dream) This is the real thing.
Translation: This is no illusion.
Reason: The line is a throwback to an earlier sung line, "That is an illusion." I don't think it changes the meaning at all, and it better preserves the flow and feel of the song. That leads us to the biggest stretch in the whole translation...


On the last song, Requiem, which is particularly poetic, I took quite a few more liberties than I would normally ever be comfortable with. It leaves a lot to be implied, and while I hate staking things down to only one interpretation, the alternative, a straight and accurate translation that doesn't nail down the symbolism, borders on incomprehensible and as a result fails to carry the poetry. At least I think so.

I still don't think the subtitled translation is the best translation as the best translation is the most accurate, but I think the song is almost entirely about the feeling and the symbolism. For the sake of consistency with how I've otherwise translated, we ended up with the subtitled one and a note to come check this page for those who care about accuracy.

You decide if I went too far!

  
Subtitle TranslationBest Translation
Oh ye who lie here in sleep.Oh ye who lie here in sleep.
Into this great earth shall ye melt away.Into this great earth shall ye melt away.
Ah, the mighty, the craven,Ah, the mighty, the craven,
all drift away in the flow of time.flow and vanish away.
Ah, a wind of remembrance whispers,Ah, a wind of remembrance blows,
of that moment.that moment.
Yes, it is the song of the wind on the trees.Yes, the many trees sing
Merely passing, the season of which they sing.of the season just passing.
Leaves, a transient blaze that fall and scatter; that is their story.of a fleetingly burning, scattering story.
Yes, it is the song of the wind on the trees.Yes, the many trees sing
Merely passing, the season of which they sing.of the season just passing.
Leaves, a transient blaze that fall and scatter; that is their story.of a fleetingly burning, scattering story.
That is their story.They sing a story.


This song got a few revisions that people who got earlier scripts or who read the notes on this song earlier might have noticed. In summary "just" can mean the season's (seasons'?) only activity is to pass or it can mean it just passed or it could be that in singing the trees pass said season on or any number of poetic interpretations. I think I finally settled on an English one vague enough to keep all of those.


That said, because cases like this do exist, along with this translation note page, I have included the karaoke on all of the songs so you're free to check the translation a bit that way. Though the main reason it's on there is I suspect people into musicals will have a special interest in the songs.

This brings us to Misa's rap. For most things I've been quite confident I heard it right, with one glaring exception: the rap portion of Prepared for Love. Ultimately the subtitle came out to: "It's all ready, come here now! 'Cause I'm ready, ready! Set! Go, go!"

I'd also thought the last part was perhaps "Zekkoucho" ("and in top form") instead of "... ready. Set! Go, go." I ultimately went with the all English guess, but be aware, it's made with a low confidence level.
Casuistor over at Tumblr says the Korean version seems to be in line with my Engrish guess. Fuck that song.

Otaku vs. Non-Otaku versions

All -san and -kuns are intact in all versions.

In the Non-Otaku version Shinigami is translated out as god of death, Onii-chan is translated out as Big brother, and Otaku is translated out as fanboy. That's the only difference in the scripts. Thought about calling the otaku version the Weeaboo translation for the concept of using Japanese when a perfectly good English equivalent exists, but decided a true to form Weeaboo would likewise use the Japanese term Otaku instead of the English Weeaboo too.

Your translator strongly prefers Otaku style translations on everything, though the references to gods and God probably works better in English when Shinigami's also translated out as god of death. But those familiar with the term Shinigami probably make those connections without needing them spelled out so blatantly.


tfallen: Headshot of me (headshot)

[personal profile] tfallen 2017-11-27 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you for your response, and for taking the time to even look into what I've been doing. I greatly appreciate your respectful tone, and I see the merit in your opinion, even if I don't completely share it. Your commentary on your translations and on what I've done is an interesting read. I read this the day you posted it, but struggled with a proper response. Crediting you in my videos has definitely been difficult to figure out after your opinion was made known to me. I absolutely wanted to give you credit because you did the majority of the work. All I did was tweak your subs. But I also want to make sure I distanced my project from your work appropriately, which I feel I've done now. I've had a few people comment along the lines of "I speak Japanese and that's not what they're saying at all," and I've always directed them to your subtitles. In hindsight, I wish I'd gotten in touch with you sooner and figured out how best to credit you, but I think I'm in a good place now with the credits.

I only set out to make the English lyrics available to the public for songs otherwise unheard in English. I dislike translations of song lyrics that don't even try to be lyrical or fit the music, so I decided to rework the subtitles for my own personal viewing, and it turned out that a good number of people cared to watch it that way, too.

What you say is true, though: the actors aren't performing the English lyrics. There are moments where there's a clear dissonance between performance and English lyric, and I acknowledge that. There are other times when the Japanese versions of the lyrics are just... objectively superior ("There Are Lines" i pretty dull compared to the wonderful parallels in "Don't Cross That Line."). For me, though, I'd rather watch it with the original English lyrics in the subs.

I've been thrilled to have been able to bring more general knowledge of the show to the public through my interactions with Menchell on Twitter. Positively identifying each individual member of the task force is probably what I'm most proud of in all this. I reworked the subtitles to give each member an individual subtitle colour, and if you're interested in incorporating that into your subs, I've done the work. You're free to take that as you please (a credit of some kind would be nice, but is ultimately unnecessary as far as I'm concerned).

I have a great amount of respect for you and what you've done with your versions of the subtitles. I will always admit that you did the work here. I just fiddled with it to suit my personal preference, and shared that with the people of the internet. You are awesome.