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Sinnesspiel ([personal profile] sinnesspiel) wrote2015-10-23 03:11 pm
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Death Note The Musical - Subtitles.

Death Note: The Musical
It's about as gay as you'd expect Death Note crossed with musical theater to be.

Urai Kenji Version (Brown Hair)
Current subtitle version: Non-Otaku Version 1.3 - download | Otaku Version 1.3 - download
Non-Otaku Version 1.3 - download () | Otaku Version 1.3 - download ()
Raw video:
 Encode + Upload : myheart1027 (2.9GB)
(Encode + Upload by[personal profile] kylara: | Mega (3.43GB)-- Subs will not match the timing for this, more of an FYI.)
Kakizawa Hayato Version (Black Hair)
Current subtitle version: Non-Otaku Version 1.3 - download | Otaku Version 1.3 - download
Hard-subbed: Non-Otaku Version 1.3 - download (3.3 GB) | Otaku Version 1.3 - download  (3.3GB)
Raw video:
Encode + Upload by [personal profile] kylara to [personal profile] kylara| Mega (3.48GB) | (Upload by me) Mediafire (3.48G)
(Original: Encode + Upload: Magnet of AsiaFull (25GB) -- Subs will not match the timing for this, more of an FYI.)

Current subtitle version: 1.3

Update log:

Version 1.3 - 4/12/16 - Fixed a line of Light's in the song Death Note; misheard shinpo as shinpou. Thanks to CaO-M3 at Youtube for the catch! Having some problems with uploads, but hardsubs should be up any day now for all four versions of 1.3. Stuck with the MyHeart version of Urai's as it was reported to show less pixelation on faces.
Version 1.2 Kylara Version - 12/30/15 - Kylara's re-encoded both musicals for better quality and cut out more of the ads. Adjusted sub timing/resolution to the better video. Probably, any updates will be done to these videos, but I'm hoping I've caught everything this time around. Karaoke typo fix, one or two line tweaks. Will update links above when files are finished uploading.
Version 1.2 - 12/2/2015 - Harry Bell to Haley Belle, manga character reference. Finally got credits for the Kakizawa raw encodes. Created Kylara version for a likely better quality hardsub of the Kakizawa version. Adjusted a few Kakizawa Light lines again.
Version 1.1 - 11/15/2015 - Karaoke errors, things found when adjusting for the Kakizawa scripts, redid the last song Requiem since I still wasn't happy with it. Changed fanboy to otaku in Otaku sub versions. Fussed a lot over tonal differences. Made the Urai vs. Kakizawa script difference log.
Version: 1.0 - 10/31/2015
Mostly karaoke fixes. A viewer's already found two errors I missed so you'll be getting at least one more update. But I'll probably hold off until I'm editing the scripts for the Kakizawa version since that airs next week or so. By all means share any mistakes you see in the mean time.
Version: 0.2 - 10/28/2015
Changed Misa's Engrish rap portion, fixed some typos in the translation and karaoke, tried to consistently keep sentences following ellipses (...) lowercase unless it's a new thought or sentence, made some fast flowing lines stay onscreen longer, improved/added on-screen text translations.
Version: 0.1 - 10/22/2015
I just finished this last night and it's only gone through a few beta checks. I've been staring at it for about four days straight and would like some other eyes on it. So to everyone here with us at the very first beta launch to offer corrections: thank you.

Re-encode the hardsubs all you want and to share that .ass freely. Keep the credits if you would kindly, including for the original raw, unless you get your own raw and shift the timing to it. If you Youtube the songs a link back here would be cool in case there are any major updates or corrections.

All about .ass:
This subtitle set is in .ass format. While a lot of times you can just convert an .ass to an .srt or .sub file and basically get by fine, doing that with this file will be an absolute mess as I've included karaoke on all the songs and there's quite a few delayed/alpha subs which most other formats can't process. Without the spacing and font colors processed through the .ass file, the songs will take up half your screen in a jumbled mess and it's going to be chaotic.

VLC and Media Player Classic can both load .ass files. VirtualDub and most other encoding programs are also able to hard-sub them to a video.

Translator's Notes:

Script Difference Log (Urai vs. Hayato)

You might notice that despite only about one page worth of differences in what's said in Japanese there are quite a few differences in the two scripts in terms of Light's lines. For the discussion such, see the tone difference discussion. At this time the informal consensus is that subs geared to each actor's interpretation are the best and are not unnecessarily invasive, and that a "neutral" set of subs that I'd make if only working with the text script are not necessary. Chime in if you like!

Wording Choice

Since this is a musical, the prose can get rather purple. I mean this in terms of the original Japanese wording/grammar itself as well as the translation. If I were translating regular dialogue, there are things I'd certainly keep more plain and I wouldn't trend towards the poetic over the literal, even if at times the "feel" were off. I'd trust the work itself to carry the feel even with an at times necessarily clunky translation. At times in songs however, I do use the liberty granted to me by how shamelessly purple a musical it is to help better carry meaning. I try to phrase it so that viewers can get a feel for how characters are emoting certain lines or words. Though if it ever comes down to being outright inaccurate, I go with accuracy and assume the actors are capable of getting the emotion across even with the language barrier.

One example is Light's "boredom." In the opening number, Where is Justice? he mentions being overtaken by boredom. The word used is "taikutsu" which is a key word in Death Note. Every fan knows the key scene where Light declares that he took up the role of Kira because he was "bored." It's in answer to Ryuk saying he was bored. The word used, taikutsu, is a specific kind of boredom; it's not the same boredom as having nothing else to do (hima), it's more of a Sisyphean boredom, of being tired of what one is doing, usually for a lack of effect or change in anything, being 'bored' with the state of things. Of course in English the word ennui is quite fluffy and it'd feel wrong for a character like Ryuk to say it. If Light were translated as saying it, it'd not only lose the sense of match with Ryuk's word, it'd lose the flippancy it carries as a more common Japanese word.

Taking advantage of the purple nature of the musical, I translated Light's line about being overwhelmed by 'taikutsu' as "Overtaken by this boredom and ennui." The original line doesn't list two things; it's only taikutsu. But I don't have to worry about the line running a little long, it fits the tone, and the meaning is carried over better.

However, you'll notice for the lead in to the song Kira, in answer to Light's question of why he dropped the Death Note, Ryuk says "Taikutsu datta kara sa." This line was translated as "'Cause I was fed up." because it captures the type of boredom and the feel of his other word/grammatical choices. In the song itself, he uses taikutsu again. While I could have kept it consistent and went with "You get fed up to death with it" or something, since the context has been laid out by the prior translation and the song itself, the line "shinu hodo taikutsu" - You could die [because] it's so boring. - was kept literal.

Other examples include:

Literal translation: (Death Note) Either: We/They (human beings) haven't made any progress past the state of writing chain letters, OR This prank isn't any more creative or advanced than a chain letter.
Urai: It's no better than a chain letter, we haven't progressed in the slightest.
Kakizwa: It's as bad as a chain letter, we haven't made any progress at all.
(See the tone discussion page for discussion on characterization/tonal choice differences between Lights.)

There's a similar line in the anime manga in which Light says "Fukou no tegami kara zenzen shinpo shichainai." The musical line is "Fukou no tegami kara nani mo shinpo ga nai." The only difference is the musical line comes with less dialogue-like grammar; it's cleaned up to be a good lyric. Just as the musical line, Light could be saying the prank isn't very advanced or he could be talking about humanity which is still doing pranks, or both. I went with both so as not to lock one possibility out, and I'd say either would be an in-character comment for him. But again, it's good for the audience to know they can write off either one if only one fits your view of the character/song.

Literal translation: (Secret Message) We'll dye everything in the color you like.
Translation: We'll dye the whole wide world in the colors you want to see.
Reason: Sounds a lot better and I don't think it changes the meaning at all. But in general I prefer not to force my own interpretation no matter how glaringly obvious I think it is that she's talking about what they'll do as a Kira team.

Also in Misa's Secret Message, she sings the line "Watashi kowakunai." I translated it in the subtitles as "I won't be afraid (to run away with you)." However, it can also be translated as "I'm not someone to fear." I ultimately went with "I won't be afraid" because that'd be how the general pop-song listening public who aren't looking for a message to Kira would hear it, and because the rest of the song goes on to emphasize just as clearly that she's not a threat to Kira. I thought about translating it in a way that could hold both meetings, "there's nothing to fear," but there's already another line in the same stanza and chorus saying just that.

Literal translation: (Cruel Dream) This is the real thing.
Translation: This is no illusion.
Reason: The line is a throwback to an earlier sung line, "That is an illusion." I don't think it changes the meaning at all, and it better preserves the flow and feel of the song. That leads us to the biggest stretch in the whole translation...

On the last song, Requiem, which is particularly poetic, I took quite a few more liberties than I would normally ever be comfortable with. It leaves a lot to be implied, and while I hate staking things down to only one interpretation, the alternative, a straight and accurate translation that doesn't nail down the symbolism, borders on incomprehensible and as a result fails to carry the poetry. At least I think so.

I still don't think the subtitled translation is the best translation as the best translation is the most accurate, but I think the song is almost entirely about the feeling and the symbolism. For the sake of consistency with how I've otherwise translated, we ended up with the subtitled one and a note to come check this page for those who care about accuracy.

You decide if I went too far!

Subtitle TranslationBest Translation
Oh ye who lie here in sleep.Oh ye who lie here in sleep.
Into this great earth shall ye melt away.Into this great earth shall ye melt away.
Ah, the mighty, the craven,Ah, the mighty, the craven,
all drift away in the flow of time.flow and vanish away.
Ah, a wind of remembrance whispers,Ah, a wind of remembrance blows,
of that moment.that moment.
Yes, it is the song of the wind on the trees.Yes, the many trees sing
Merely passing, the season of which they sing.of the season just passing.
Leaves, a transient blaze that fall and scatter; that is their story.of a fleetingly burning, scattering story.
Yes, it is the song of the wind on the trees.Yes, the many trees sing
Merely passing, the season of which they sing.of the season just passing.
Leaves, a transient blaze that fall and scatter; that is their story.of a fleetingly burning, scattering story.
That is their story.They sing a story.

This song got a few revisions that people who got earlier scripts or who read the notes on this song earlier might have noticed. In summary "just" can mean the season's (seasons'?) only activity is to pass or it can mean it just passed or it could be that in singing the trees pass said season on or any number of poetic interpretations. I think I finally settled on an English one vague enough to keep all of those.

That said, because cases like this do exist, along with this translation note page, I have included the karaoke on all of the songs so you're free to check the translation a bit that way. Though the main reason it's on there is I suspect people into musicals will have a special interest in the songs.

This brings us to Misa's rap. For most things I've been quite confident I heard it right, with one glaring exception: the rap portion of Prepared for Love. Ultimately the subtitle came out to: "It's all ready, come here now! 'Cause I'm ready, ready! Set! Go, go!"

I'd also thought the last part was perhaps "Zekkoucho" ("and in top form") instead of "... ready. Set! Go, go." I ultimately went with the all English guess, but be aware, it's made with a low confidence level. Casuistor over at Tumblr says the Korean version seems to be in line with my Engrish guess.

Otaku vs. Non-Otaku versions

All -san and -kuns are intact in all versions.

In the Non-Otaku version Shinigami is translated out as god of death, Onii-chan is translated out as Big brother, and Otaku is translated out as fanboy. That's the only difference in the scripts. Thought about calling the otaku version the Weeaboo translation for the concept of using Japanese when a perfectly good English equivalent exists, but decided a true to form Weeaboo would likewise use the Japanese term Otaku instead of the English Weeaboo too.

Your translator strongly prefers Otaku style translations on everything, though the references to gods and God probably works better in English when Shinigami's also translated out as god of death. But those familiar with the term Shinigami probably make those connections without needing them spelled out so blatantly.

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