Sinnesspiel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sinnesspiel) wrote2013-02-15 03:37 pm
sinnesspiel) wrote2013-02-15 03:37 pm
Conqueror of Shamballa Prototype Script Excerpts
A little more detail on how Gate alchemy works, what's going on in the nation of Amestris and on Roy's situation. His relationship with Winry is shown to be rocky but still more intimate than his relationship with Hawkeye and his relationship to Hughes and Ed is given more weight. The Noah-Ed-Alfons love triangle comes to a head, and there's a note by the writer on how Alfons was originally an extension of and written for Kugimiya!Al.
In the final cut there's the scene where Hess confirms that they have Noah in hand and can proceed with the plan. The final cut script highlights that Eckart could care less about Hitler and is merely using Hess, who is the more excitable one thinking that opening the Gate that day will help Hitler. In the prototype, there's a slightly different flavor. Hess frets that Hitler won't be using them. Added lines:
Eckart: So he does not yet fully believe in us... In what we are doing. Then, let us open the way to Shamballa on that day.
Hess: But, opening the way with a storm already on the horizon....
Eckart: It will be the beginning of our battle.
Hess looks at Eckart without saying a word.
For the scene where Alfons proudly says they'll show that Germany isn't defeated (which was a line not in the Prototype) he brings orders to get the rocket flying by the 11th. His friends argue it's impossible but he insists it has to be done. In the final cut he's inspired and his friends seem to silently agree and want to also try to meet that deadline.
In the Prototype Noah gives Ed a pat on the head when Ed's finished saying it's fine if he can't go home because it will bring war, as he at least knows Al is alive. In the final cut, Alfons comes in instead. In the Prototype, there's a little scene of Alfons coming in which sets up some subtle differences relating to the original love triangle plot:
Alfons returns looking exhausted. He's coughing. There's blood. He wipes it away and goes on up.
Alfons enters. He notices a headless armor.
Alfons: This is... Edward-san? You made it back?
Saying such, he turns towards Ed's bedroom.
Opening the door, Alfons gasps.
Within the darkness, Noah is draped over Ed. (Ed is asleep and Noah is pressing her forehead to his to read his memory, but Alfons doesn't know that.) Noah notices Alfons. Looking at Alfons, she gives a sad smile. Al breaks into an unintentional coughing fit. Ed wakes with a start. Al turns away.
Alfons pulls on his coat and heads down. Ed follows, sleepily.
Ed: Alfons, where're you going?
Alfons: Work is extremely busy. I will be staying at the workshop from tonight onward.
(Translator's Note: Alfons is speaking in keigo/desumasu form, which is unusually polite for him with Ed and Noah, and thus cold.)
Alfons intends to leave with that but Ed stands in front of him.
Ed: Alfons, stop that job.
Alfons: We are going to be launching the rocket, you realize?
Ed: Those guys... They're planning a war. With my original world. That rocket's a part of that.
Alfons gives him a sidelong glance. His eyes meet with Noah's, who has come downstairs.
Ed: .... Don't get the wrong idea about Noah. You of all people oughtta know. This world... isn't real to me. So... like hell I'd be doing anything with some girl.
Those are words Alfons decidedly does not want to hear. He breaks out into a vicious cough. Blood comes from his mouth and nose.
The scene goes just like the movie from here, besides Noah adding that since the door won't open that Ed should just let Alfons do what he wants, and Ed lets him go.
Cut scene where Winry arrives by train and meets Armstrong and Sciezka, establishing she came following Al. The writers were making cuts for time and felt a scene to establish why she came to Central when it was fairly obvious by the narrative was prime cutting material. Armstrong corrects her on calling him Major, and Winry says she'd like to stop by somewhere first, with Sciezka guessing, correctly, that she means Hughes's grave.
Beneath a cloudy sky, one man stands before a tombstone. It's Mustang. He is not in uniform. He's just staring downwards at Hughes's grave. He suddenly notices behind him, crisply in uniform, is none other than Hawkeye. She was walking slowly and came to a stop at a respectable distance. It's their first meeting in some time so while there may be many thoughts she wants to speak, ultimately she remains cool.
Hawkeye: I am certain you were sent orders to re-station, so why have you not reported in to headquarters?
Mustang says nothing.
Hawkeye: A special assembly has been called for former State Alchemists in regards to the simultaneous earthquakes in two separate cities and the armored figures that appeared in Liore. There were those saying you would be chairman of the committee.
Mustang takes out the envelope with his orders, holding it up as it is without offering it out to her at all.
Mustang: I have no such right.
Hawkeye: Parliament decided on it.
Mustang: In refusing this I am saying: I no longer intend to serve the military.
Hawkeye stares at him, as if to question his determination. Mustang drops his envelope on top of Hughes's gravestone and walks off as Hawkeye watches.
(At the entrance to the graveyard)
Mustang passes by with a cane. He passes by a lone girl. He realizes it's Winry.
Mustang: ...
WInry: It has been a while. It seems you chose a very remote station.
Mustang: It seems I'll be parting from that station as well.
Winry: You're quitting? The military?
Mustang answers without a word.
Winry: To stand at the top of the military, and to change the nation, to make sure another war doesn't break out. Wasn't that your dream?
Mustang: For that dream, there were many casualties. Hughes was one. ....Edward Elric was another. I have no right to even talk about dreams.
Winry: Ed... isn't dead.
Mustang looks up in surprise.
Winry: Al... has always believed that, and even now he's looking for a way to see him.
Mustang: .... That... must be hard on you.
Winry glares sharply at Mustang.
Winry: It is hard, but even so we're moving forward one step at a time. What else can we do besides that? We're still alive.
Mustang gives a short laugh and walks off. Winry continues to glare at his back.
There's a slight extension on the Al and Wrath scenes when going to the underground city that more explicitly some of the "plot holes" about how the Gate works to less attentive fans or fans expecting manga Gate mechanics. Cut for time as it was felt it should be fairly obvious that places where the Stone had been made were related to the Gate by the locations of the Earthquakes and... well, the fact that the Gate only works as a dimensional transfer when at those two points the 4 times it does so throughout the series/movie. Cutting out action descriptions and location descriptions when they're identical to the final cut's script description.
Al and Wrath walk in the underground waterway.
Wrath: (referring to the prior scene (TN: Where the guards are blocking off the church entrance and the elevator is nailed up.) ) All of the ways to this city have been blocked off, so that nobody else tries to go after the Philosopher's Stone.... They're trying to wipe out all memory of it. But there were other ways in we used.
Al: Why did you bring me here?
Wrath: You plan to bring Ed back, don't you?
Al: What are you doing to do when Nii-san returns?
Wrath: ....
Al: .... Well, whatever. Either way, the likes of you wouldn't be able to lay a hand on him.
Al and Wrath come down to the city. It seems even more wrecked than the aforementioned area. Al takes in that sight.
Wrath: You remember anything? You and Ed died here, and then...
Al stops him. He's looking at the old city. The old town seems entirely in ruins due to the earthquake but, it's spread out circularly. The entirety of the fissures would call to mind a transmutation circle.
Al: It's the same as Liore.
Al runs down and checks the condition of the fresh cracks.
Wrath: These... When did this happen?
Al: In that quake.
Wrath: ....?
Al: The epicenter wasn't Central. The biggest effect was definitely here.
Al seems as if he expected it to be like this.
Al: There's one point this underground former city and Liore have in common. No matter how you think about it, the obvious connection is that they were places large scale human transmutation took place.... That's what it comes down to... That's why, going through the Gate here or in Liore would be.... in essence, the closest point to that side.
Al hurries into the building.
(In the Opera House)
It's in ruins. Al comes inside.
Al: The way through from there... If we open it through here, too... If we do that, Nii-san will definitely be able to come through.
Wrath follows in after him.
Wrath: You... don't tell me, you're planning on human transmutation?
Al: .... No.
Al claps his hands. He creates an outline of the same array as was at Eckart's location. Behind them is a crumbling noise. Wrath notices it.
Next scene follows directly after, cut from the final cut:
Munich, Gracia's shop.
Ed comes out with Noah following. Ed's expression is pathetic and forlorn as if he's lost everything. The people around have unabashed smiled. He just walks. Noah seems to be suffering just seeing Ed like that.
Noah: ... Al, hasn't come back has he?
Ed: He's wasting his time and effort. Not like the Gate's gonna open.
Noah: Ed... What will you do?
Ed: .... Who knows. ... Guess I'll eat.
Ed picks up his pace. Noah follows. Noah is surprised. Something is strange about the atmosphere in town. The stare from the surrounding men is strong. They are sitting around as if waiting for something. Many men are wearing a certain button on their jackets. There are men brandishing guns. There are many such figures all about town.
Back to the movie cut for a while. Essentially the same Beer Hall scene other than Ed snapping that Noah should know who the people she's going with are and that they're planning a war. Hughes explains that Noah agreed to work with them. The big difference is that instead of Lang's car showing up to to whisk Ed away, the bar crowd takes Ed prisoner as he resists. There's a note that for the final cut they decided to have Lang show up because, in the way they did etch it out, it kept things moving quickly, both to save time and to keep up the pace as the movie was now approaching its climax. The related scenes will follow, but keeping to chronological order..
Only difference in the scene where Hess brings Noah and Alfons sees her is Al asks why Ed isn't with her. Hess smiles. A few shuffling of lines with Eckart, Haushoffer and Noah, mostly with them prompting her for information rather than her just dumping it all at once (no magic words, etc.).
There's a scene where Falman is guarding and refusing to allow Winry into the former Fuhrer's quarters. Sciezka insists there was a passage to the underground city, there. Havoc walks by and recognizes Winry-chan, then there's the crumbling noise. In the distraction that causes, Winry and Sciezka rush past to get to the underground passage. Obviously, the scene where Winry and Sciezka are sneaking about in tunnels to get to the Fuhrer's area isn't in the prototype.
A few cut lines of Al lamenting that there's something missing so he can't open the Gate to get to Nii-san.
Hess's speech about the Beer Hall was originally Eckart's. No significant changes, other than Eckart insisting soon the Fuhrer would see and believe in their power.
Prisoner's room.
Ed is locked in. He bangs on the door.
Ed: What're you doing?! What are you planning with Noah?!
Alfons comes in the door.
Ed: .... Alfons.
Alfons: Edward-san
Ed: Your rocket... you finished it?
Al coughs, his coughing becoming his answer. Ed looks at him painfully.
Ed: Alfons, Noah's been captured.
Alfons: It looks like Noah... accessed your memories and knowledge.
Ed !s (TN: Yes. That's how it's written.)
Ed: That's it... Alchemy...
Alfons: No matter how much you try to look like you're not involved on the surface, the reality is that that Gate is going to open. And it'll be your fault.
Ed: What are you... trying to say...
And with that armored soldiers enter.
Alfons: !?
The Serpent's Hall
Armored soldiers escort Ed in. Eckart, Hess, Haushoffer, and of course Noa are there. Ed is looking pointedly only at Noah.
Ed: Even I don't have a fucking clue how to get to the other side.
Hess: What's that?
Ed: Envy's a Homunculus, something that's born and lives in there, so there might be some kinda connection, but... You know I'm not lying. Since you've seen into my memory.
The last part of the line is said to Noah. Noah gives a small nod.
Haushoffer: But you have once opened the door which was once shut.
Ed: ....
Eckart calmly points a gun at Noah. She gives a chipper smile.
Ed: ... Let me look.
Ed is released by the soldiers and approaches Envy. He looks at the part Envy's head is covering.
Noah, unable to endure it, calls out to Ed.
Noah: Just beyond there is your world, isn't it?
Ed: ... Who knows.
Noah: I just wanted to see it. No, I wanted to go! After all, that's all that we have! It's a place where we can live in peace!
Ed: ... You wanted a country? I thought it was your guys's pride that no matter what country you go to, your journey goes on.
Noah: I wanted... to dream.
Ed: My world... isn't a dream.
In saying such, Ed realizes he doesn't have the qualifications to say that. During the conversation he's checking on Envy's condition.
The Wrath vs. Gluttony fight goes identically other than a slight change in Wrath's final line.
Final cut: You're planning to exchange yourself to save your brother... I don't want to see that, not again.
Prototype: I don't wanna see it again... You two brothers, erasing yourselves for each other's sakes... You can't keep doing that!
When Ed points the gun when the Gate begins to open, Alfons comes in in time to notice Ed screaming "Old man!"
Hohenheim's speech about Envy is a little different in the Prototype. There's a writer's note that says while they changed it, the sentiment or thought didn't change, but as he is being chewed on by Envy him talking too long is a bit hard to pull off and with the movie at the climax they want to keep the pace up.
Hohenheim: Envy here is... also my son.
Ed: ...He's a Homunculus.
Hohenheim: Without so much as a single display of affection for him in his life, I abandoned him... So, if it's what he desires then... I want to be killed by him.
Rather than Haushoffer saying he doesn't think it's Shamballa on the other side and being shot by Eckart after she tells Hess to go relay that it's been confirmed, Haushoffer questions she herself really being the one to go 'confirm' it, she asks: "Is there any other who will conquer Shamballa?"
Alfons's final scene is a little different and there's a note appended to it about his development as a character by the staff and writer:
Ed: Wait, I never said anything about going to that side.
Alfons: I want you to go.
Ed: ... Alfons.... So, I'm in the way?
Alfons shakes his head and breaks into a cough.
Alfons: I... we... aren't parts of your dream.
Ed: ....
Alfons: I am... definitely... here... Even as my life fades out, I'm not a dream.
Ed: Al... I....
Alfons: Don't... Don't just write us off as a dream!*
Alfons decisively pulls down the hatch. He operates the machine.
*Without Alfons's "Don't just write us off as a dream!" line the final copy has a rather different feel, I think. But, Al's sentiment and the essential point doesn't chage. It's just that when writing the Prototype, there was an established love triangle between Noah, Ed and Alfons as well, so when that was removed in the final draft the line also had to be changed. Alfons was written in the prototype with the possibility of Kugimiya Rie-san acting the role, which is to say as an extension of the TV series's Al's character. So at that time there wasn't a clear grasp on Alfons's own unique character, he was unclear. In the final script, Alfons was shifted to the role of a 17 year old who was able to live on his own. In other words, he needed to be drawn as ana dult character. Thus, points that made him too much like the TV series Al were adjusted.
Only change until the end of part C is that when Alfons is shot, he says a line: "I... we.... are, here." before dying.
In the final cut there's the scene where Hess confirms that they have Noah in hand and can proceed with the plan. The final cut script highlights that Eckart could care less about Hitler and is merely using Hess, who is the more excitable one thinking that opening the Gate that day will help Hitler. In the prototype, there's a slightly different flavor. Hess frets that Hitler won't be using them. Added lines:
Eckart: So he does not yet fully believe in us... In what we are doing. Then, let us open the way to Shamballa on that day.
Hess: But, opening the way with a storm already on the horizon....
Eckart: It will be the beginning of our battle.
Hess looks at Eckart without saying a word.
For the scene where Alfons proudly says they'll show that Germany isn't defeated (which was a line not in the Prototype) he brings orders to get the rocket flying by the 11th. His friends argue it's impossible but he insists it has to be done. In the final cut he's inspired and his friends seem to silently agree and want to also try to meet that deadline.
In the Prototype Noah gives Ed a pat on the head when Ed's finished saying it's fine if he can't go home because it will bring war, as he at least knows Al is alive. In the final cut, Alfons comes in instead. In the Prototype, there's a little scene of Alfons coming in which sets up some subtle differences relating to the original love triangle plot:
Alfons returns looking exhausted. He's coughing. There's blood. He wipes it away and goes on up.
Alfons enters. He notices a headless armor.
Alfons: This is... Edward-san? You made it back?
Saying such, he turns towards Ed's bedroom.
Opening the door, Alfons gasps.
Within the darkness, Noah is draped over Ed. (Ed is asleep and Noah is pressing her forehead to his to read his memory, but Alfons doesn't know that.) Noah notices Alfons. Looking at Alfons, she gives a sad smile. Al breaks into an unintentional coughing fit. Ed wakes with a start. Al turns away.
Alfons pulls on his coat and heads down. Ed follows, sleepily.
Ed: Alfons, where're you going?
Alfons: Work is extremely busy. I will be staying at the workshop from tonight onward.
(Translator's Note: Alfons is speaking in keigo/desumasu form, which is unusually polite for him with Ed and Noah, and thus cold.)
Alfons intends to leave with that but Ed stands in front of him.
Ed: Alfons, stop that job.
Alfons: We are going to be launching the rocket, you realize?
Ed: Those guys... They're planning a war. With my original world. That rocket's a part of that.
Alfons gives him a sidelong glance. His eyes meet with Noah's, who has come downstairs.
Ed: .... Don't get the wrong idea about Noah. You of all people oughtta know. This world... isn't real to me. So... like hell I'd be doing anything with some girl.
Those are words Alfons decidedly does not want to hear. He breaks out into a vicious cough. Blood comes from his mouth and nose.
The scene goes just like the movie from here, besides Noah adding that since the door won't open that Ed should just let Alfons do what he wants, and Ed lets him go.
Cut scene where Winry arrives by train and meets Armstrong and Sciezka, establishing she came following Al. The writers were making cuts for time and felt a scene to establish why she came to Central when it was fairly obvious by the narrative was prime cutting material. Armstrong corrects her on calling him Major, and Winry says she'd like to stop by somewhere first, with Sciezka guessing, correctly, that she means Hughes's grave.
Beneath a cloudy sky, one man stands before a tombstone. It's Mustang. He is not in uniform. He's just staring downwards at Hughes's grave. He suddenly notices behind him, crisply in uniform, is none other than Hawkeye. She was walking slowly and came to a stop at a respectable distance. It's their first meeting in some time so while there may be many thoughts she wants to speak, ultimately she remains cool.
Hawkeye: I am certain you were sent orders to re-station, so why have you not reported in to headquarters?
Mustang says nothing.
Hawkeye: A special assembly has been called for former State Alchemists in regards to the simultaneous earthquakes in two separate cities and the armored figures that appeared in Liore. There were those saying you would be chairman of the committee.
Mustang takes out the envelope with his orders, holding it up as it is without offering it out to her at all.
Mustang: I have no such right.
Hawkeye: Parliament decided on it.
Mustang: In refusing this I am saying: I no longer intend to serve the military.
Hawkeye stares at him, as if to question his determination. Mustang drops his envelope on top of Hughes's gravestone and walks off as Hawkeye watches.
(At the entrance to the graveyard)
Mustang passes by with a cane. He passes by a lone girl. He realizes it's Winry.
Mustang: ...
WInry: It has been a while. It seems you chose a very remote station.
Mustang: It seems I'll be parting from that station as well.
Winry: You're quitting? The military?
Mustang answers without a word.
Winry: To stand at the top of the military, and to change the nation, to make sure another war doesn't break out. Wasn't that your dream?
Mustang: For that dream, there were many casualties. Hughes was one. ....Edward Elric was another. I have no right to even talk about dreams.
Winry: Ed... isn't dead.
Mustang looks up in surprise.
Winry: Al... has always believed that, and even now he's looking for a way to see him.
Mustang: .... That... must be hard on you.
Winry glares sharply at Mustang.
Winry: It is hard, but even so we're moving forward one step at a time. What else can we do besides that? We're still alive.
Mustang gives a short laugh and walks off. Winry continues to glare at his back.
There's a slight extension on the Al and Wrath scenes when going to the underground city that more explicitly some of the "plot holes" about how the Gate works to less attentive fans or fans expecting manga Gate mechanics. Cut for time as it was felt it should be fairly obvious that places where the Stone had been made were related to the Gate by the locations of the Earthquakes and... well, the fact that the Gate only works as a dimensional transfer when at those two points the 4 times it does so throughout the series/movie. Cutting out action descriptions and location descriptions when they're identical to the final cut's script description.
Al and Wrath walk in the underground waterway.
Wrath: (referring to the prior scene (TN: Where the guards are blocking off the church entrance and the elevator is nailed up.) ) All of the ways to this city have been blocked off, so that nobody else tries to go after the Philosopher's Stone.... They're trying to wipe out all memory of it. But there were other ways in we used.
Al: Why did you bring me here?
Wrath: You plan to bring Ed back, don't you?
Al: What are you doing to do when Nii-san returns?
Wrath: ....
Al: .... Well, whatever. Either way, the likes of you wouldn't be able to lay a hand on him.
Al and Wrath come down to the city. It seems even more wrecked than the aforementioned area. Al takes in that sight.
Wrath: You remember anything? You and Ed died here, and then...
Al stops him. He's looking at the old city. The old town seems entirely in ruins due to the earthquake but, it's spread out circularly. The entirety of the fissures would call to mind a transmutation circle.
Al: It's the same as Liore.
Al runs down and checks the condition of the fresh cracks.
Wrath: These... When did this happen?
Al: In that quake.
Wrath: ....?
Al: The epicenter wasn't Central. The biggest effect was definitely here.
Al seems as if he expected it to be like this.
Al: There's one point this underground former city and Liore have in common. No matter how you think about it, the obvious connection is that they were places large scale human transmutation took place.... That's what it comes down to... That's why, going through the Gate here or in Liore would be.... in essence, the closest point to that side.
Al hurries into the building.
(In the Opera House)
It's in ruins. Al comes inside.
Al: The way through from there... If we open it through here, too... If we do that, Nii-san will definitely be able to come through.
Wrath follows in after him.
Wrath: You... don't tell me, you're planning on human transmutation?
Al: .... No.
Al claps his hands. He creates an outline of the same array as was at Eckart's location. Behind them is a crumbling noise. Wrath notices it.
Next scene follows directly after, cut from the final cut:
Munich, Gracia's shop.
Ed comes out with Noah following. Ed's expression is pathetic and forlorn as if he's lost everything. The people around have unabashed smiled. He just walks. Noah seems to be suffering just seeing Ed like that.
Noah: ... Al, hasn't come back has he?
Ed: He's wasting his time and effort. Not like the Gate's gonna open.
Noah: Ed... What will you do?
Ed: .... Who knows. ... Guess I'll eat.
Ed picks up his pace. Noah follows. Noah is surprised. Something is strange about the atmosphere in town. The stare from the surrounding men is strong. They are sitting around as if waiting for something. Many men are wearing a certain button on their jackets. There are men brandishing guns. There are many such figures all about town.
Back to the movie cut for a while. Essentially the same Beer Hall scene other than Ed snapping that Noah should know who the people she's going with are and that they're planning a war. Hughes explains that Noah agreed to work with them. The big difference is that instead of Lang's car showing up to to whisk Ed away, the bar crowd takes Ed prisoner as he resists. There's a note that for the final cut they decided to have Lang show up because, in the way they did etch it out, it kept things moving quickly, both to save time and to keep up the pace as the movie was now approaching its climax. The related scenes will follow, but keeping to chronological order..
Only difference in the scene where Hess brings Noah and Alfons sees her is Al asks why Ed isn't with her. Hess smiles. A few shuffling of lines with Eckart, Haushoffer and Noah, mostly with them prompting her for information rather than her just dumping it all at once (no magic words, etc.).
There's a scene where Falman is guarding and refusing to allow Winry into the former Fuhrer's quarters. Sciezka insists there was a passage to the underground city, there. Havoc walks by and recognizes Winry-chan, then there's the crumbling noise. In the distraction that causes, Winry and Sciezka rush past to get to the underground passage. Obviously, the scene where Winry and Sciezka are sneaking about in tunnels to get to the Fuhrer's area isn't in the prototype.
A few cut lines of Al lamenting that there's something missing so he can't open the Gate to get to Nii-san.
Hess's speech about the Beer Hall was originally Eckart's. No significant changes, other than Eckart insisting soon the Fuhrer would see and believe in their power.
Prisoner's room.
Ed is locked in. He bangs on the door.
Ed: What're you doing?! What are you planning with Noah?!
Alfons comes in the door.
Ed: .... Alfons.
Alfons: Edward-san
Ed: Your rocket... you finished it?
Al coughs, his coughing becoming his answer. Ed looks at him painfully.
Ed: Alfons, Noah's been captured.
Alfons: It looks like Noah... accessed your memories and knowledge.
Ed !s (TN: Yes. That's how it's written.)
Ed: That's it... Alchemy...
Alfons: No matter how much you try to look like you're not involved on the surface, the reality is that that Gate is going to open. And it'll be your fault.
Ed: What are you... trying to say...
And with that armored soldiers enter.
Alfons: !?
The Serpent's Hall
Armored soldiers escort Ed in. Eckart, Hess, Haushoffer, and of course Noa are there. Ed is looking pointedly only at Noah.
Ed: Even I don't have a fucking clue how to get to the other side.
Hess: What's that?
Ed: Envy's a Homunculus, something that's born and lives in there, so there might be some kinda connection, but... You know I'm not lying. Since you've seen into my memory.
The last part of the line is said to Noah. Noah gives a small nod.
Haushoffer: But you have once opened the door which was once shut.
Ed: ....
Eckart calmly points a gun at Noah. She gives a chipper smile.
Ed: ... Let me look.
Ed is released by the soldiers and approaches Envy. He looks at the part Envy's head is covering.
Noah, unable to endure it, calls out to Ed.
Noah: Just beyond there is your world, isn't it?
Ed: ... Who knows.
Noah: I just wanted to see it. No, I wanted to go! After all, that's all that we have! It's a place where we can live in peace!
Ed: ... You wanted a country? I thought it was your guys's pride that no matter what country you go to, your journey goes on.
Noah: I wanted... to dream.
Ed: My world... isn't a dream.
In saying such, Ed realizes he doesn't have the qualifications to say that. During the conversation he's checking on Envy's condition.
The Wrath vs. Gluttony fight goes identically other than a slight change in Wrath's final line.
Final cut: You're planning to exchange yourself to save your brother... I don't want to see that, not again.
Prototype: I don't wanna see it again... You two brothers, erasing yourselves for each other's sakes... You can't keep doing that!
When Ed points the gun when the Gate begins to open, Alfons comes in in time to notice Ed screaming "Old man!"
Hohenheim's speech about Envy is a little different in the Prototype. There's a writer's note that says while they changed it, the sentiment or thought didn't change, but as he is being chewed on by Envy him talking too long is a bit hard to pull off and with the movie at the climax they want to keep the pace up.
Hohenheim: Envy here is... also my son.
Ed: ...He's a Homunculus.
Hohenheim: Without so much as a single display of affection for him in his life, I abandoned him... So, if it's what he desires then... I want to be killed by him.
Rather than Haushoffer saying he doesn't think it's Shamballa on the other side and being shot by Eckart after she tells Hess to go relay that it's been confirmed, Haushoffer questions she herself really being the one to go 'confirm' it, she asks: "Is there any other who will conquer Shamballa?"
Alfons's final scene is a little different and there's a note appended to it about his development as a character by the staff and writer:
Ed: Wait, I never said anything about going to that side.
Alfons: I want you to go.
Ed: ... Alfons.... So, I'm in the way?
Alfons shakes his head and breaks into a cough.
Alfons: I... we... aren't parts of your dream.
Ed: ....
Alfons: I am... definitely... here... Even as my life fades out, I'm not a dream.
Ed: Al... I....
Alfons: Don't... Don't just write us off as a dream!*
Alfons decisively pulls down the hatch. He operates the machine.
*Without Alfons's "Don't just write us off as a dream!" line the final copy has a rather different feel, I think. But, Al's sentiment and the essential point doesn't chage. It's just that when writing the Prototype, there was an established love triangle between Noah, Ed and Alfons as well, so when that was removed in the final draft the line also had to be changed. Alfons was written in the prototype with the possibility of Kugimiya Rie-san acting the role, which is to say as an extension of the TV series's Al's character. So at that time there wasn't a clear grasp on Alfons's own unique character, he was unclear. In the final script, Alfons was shifted to the role of a 17 year old who was able to live on his own. In other words, he needed to be drawn as ana dult character. Thus, points that made him too much like the TV series Al were adjusted.
Only change until the end of part C is that when Alfons is shot, he says a line: "I... we.... are, here." before dying.
Thank you for the translations
Long time no see!
I went back to livejournal recently to view your translations and thoughts old or new. Then found you here.
Did something happen at livejournal?
Thank you for translating parts from the Shamabala scenario book to share with fans from the Mizushima Hagaren series.
It's interesting to get to know more about Taisa's thoughts and conversations with other Hagaren characters, which seemed important from a fan's point of view. But were removed because of the limited time frame of the movie.
I appreciate Aikawa for his effort in trying to keep as much Taisa parts in the last Mizushima Hagaren movie as possible.
Would the Aikawa prototype Shamabala script with no removal of parts were to be published in a novel form. In filling the gaps for the movie. Perhaps write a bit about the aftermaths of the characters in continuation of the movie. Be a good idea?
Or do you prefer the open ending left by Shamabala as it is now?
Also I found this old MAD video in regards to Shamabala with some prototype script dialogues in it.
http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm4051143
This might be interesting for fans whom read your Shamabala Scenario book translations.