sinnesspiel | Shiki Novel Translations 3.15.3

The Ozaki Clinic resumed medical examinations two days after the funeral on the twenty fourh. The decision was Toshio's. Given the state of the village, taking any more leisurely of a break was impossible. Immediately upon opening, the Tashiro bookstore's son was brought in by Rumi. It'd been a while since they'd seen a usual victim. Tashiro Takashi--ten years old.

While handling the patients who were piling up from while they were closed, Toshio was caught up in his thoughts. Behind the scenes, the attacks were continuing. Because the victims weren't being seen at the hospital, the situation was getting worse. Thanks to Kyouko, he now understood the nature of the Shiki, he thinks. But Toshio had nobody to cooperate with him. In order to purge the Shiki, it was a fact that there would need to be actions taken far beyond what Toshio could possibly manage alone. That said, if Toshio were to shout that it were Shiki, there as no way the village would accept it. All the more after Ikumi's failed example. Caught in such worries, the morning examinations ended and when he returned from having lunch to the waiting room, Kiyomi came in with a complicated expression, handing him a letter.

"---What's this?"

"It came addressed to the clinic. It wasn't marked as confidential, so Mutou-san already opened it, but."

Toshio took the sealed letter and looked inside. It was Satoko's resignation. The form-letter resignation had a small personal note. It was written there that she could not bear neither Takae and nor Toshio.

Toshio's brows furrowed. Satoko was indignant about something, he knew that much, but not why. He gave a troubled look to Kiyomi who averted her eyes.

"She's talking about the situation with Yuki-chan."

At Toshio's questioning head tilt, Kiyomi sighed and gave a reproachful look.

"You look like you have no idea what I mean. And that's just it."

"What's just it?"

"Yuki-chan has gone missing. Doctor, do you know that?"

Ah, Toshio blinked. Come to think of it, he thought he heard something like that. So finally Yuki had disappeared; he had had some distant sense that such an event had happened.

"Now listen, I do understand that you have been dealing with the situation with your wife, but I think that Sato-chan couldn't handle the fact that it seems like you didn't even notice. To be honest, I feel the same. Sato-chan and Yuki-chan both thought about you and took the pains to move here, gave up their days off to come in and work. And when those very nurses go missing, 'Oh, I see' is no way to respond."

"That's---" Toshio bit his lip. "Yeah. I was wrong. I got busy with Kyouko and..."

"I don't know what to do if you apologize to me. There's no point in attacking you over it now. But on the day of the young madam's funeral there had been several unpleasant happenings, and Sato-chan had a fight with the Madame. And so she could no longer bear it. I do want you to understand that much."

Toshio stared at Kiyomi. "What, are you saying that Isaki-kun quitting is my fault, is that what you mean?"

"That's what I meant to say, is that not how you heard it?" Kiyomi said in a low voice, turning her eyes away. "I'm not satisfied either. I have sympathy for you, that's why I don't have any intent to quit, but."

Toshio's frowned. "I'll keep it in mind."

Kiyomi gave a bow and stepped out of the waiting room. Toshio watched her leave and then in spite of himself smacked the letter on the desk.

He understood what Kiyomi was saying. He had heard about Yuki but it had gone completely in one ear and out the other. His mind was filled with the Kyouko matter. This was clearly his own mistake. That was why it was all the more irritating.

--Yes, Toshio was completely engulfed in the frenzy of hiding Kyouko's body. Now that he looked back on it it was clear. Looking back, just hiding her death at all was a horrific gamble. He didn't know what percentage of dead bodies rose up but there was always the possibility that Kyoko would not, too. No matter how much he refrigerated her, the nurses would have seen her at the funeral. Several of the condolence callers would also include other medics. Anybody could have looked at Kyouko's dead face and not believed she'd died the night before, and it wouldn't have been unexpected for them to say something. The reason that the funeral passed without anybody pointing that out was because Kyouko did rise up, because she really didn't die until the night before the overnight vigil. Now he thought again as he did on that night, with goosebumps rising. He was that close to losing absolutely everything.

Between attacking Seishin over the matter Ikumi had stirred up, the worsening condition of the matter at hand, his field of view had narrowed. The fact of hiding a dead body was in itself proof that Toshio was more cornered than he had realized. The stress of each and every day was also a factor, the vigil, the funeral; thanks to all of that, once he finally had a rest, once he at last returned to sanity, he could see that his behavior was far from appropriate.

It was no wonder Seishin condemned him. Regardless of whether what he did was right or wrong, it wasn't something that Seishin could pardon. It was disgusting to have been driven to be so flustered to that degree. That was why, all the more, his condemnation stung.

"I was being rash."

He knew it. This was his own mistake. But Toshio had to do something to break through what was overtaking the village. This wasn't action taken for his own sake. It was for the village. To stop any further deaths. He didn't think that he was lying to himself about that much.

"What am I supposed to do?"

Regret stirred in his chest. There were many optimal choices but Toshio had let one after another slip by. Maybe he should just up and quit, he thought. Nobody in the village noticed. No, nobody wanted to notice, he thought. Nobody was taking it as gravely as Toshio. Seishin knew but washed his hands of it. So Toshio didn't see why he couldn't wash his own hands of the matter.

Let it resolve itself however it will. With that Toshio wouldn't have to expose himself to such abuses, would no longer have to dirty his own hands, could let it carry on as it would, until eventually someone outside the village would notice the abnormality. He didn't see why it would be so wrong to wait for that.

Shiki Novel Translations 3.15.3

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