Shiki Novel Translations 3.12.4

[sinnesspiel]

 

4

Seishin at last left the temple office after a long meditation and contemplation. When he looked to his watch the date had already changed, entering into the early hours of the 21st. 

Through the temple grounds, through the graveyard to the lumber path, he came out at the Maruyasu lumber yard. He set his eyes on the Ozaki Hospital, where the lights were on on the second floor. 

He was opposed to hunting the Shiki. But some kind of plan of compromise had to be found. He couldn't ignore the village's distress any further.

Were the Shiki's lives the priority or were human lives the priority? The answer Seishin had to come to was obvious. Humans took priority. As to why, that was because Seishin was human. For Seishin who was not a Shiki, to treat Shiki's lives as if they were equivalent to human life was to transcend his own humanity. It was to look upon humanity as another, and even to look do so to the Shiki, thinking like a god, he realized. But Seishin was only a man. In that case he would have to hold the vantage point of a human, and doing that the answer was obvious. The Shiki were a threat, and thus an enemy. If they didn't kill them they would be killed. They had to exterminate the Shiki to uphold their own safety.

While half trying to convince himself of this, Seishin went towards the side staff entrance of the Ozaki Hospital. The staff entrance was locked. Since the light was on at the nurse's station, Toshio must have been up above with Kyouko. And so he pushed the interphone button. The answer was some time in coming. Before Seishin himself could say anything, he heard Toshio's voice asking: "Seishin, eh?"

Right, he answered. There probably wasn't anybody else who would come at this hour without calling first. 

"You came at a good time. My hands are a little full right now. The window in my room's open, so do me a favor and come in that way. I'm in the operating room."

Seishin tilted his head, but for the time being went towards the back garden. Entering into Toshio's bedroom, he crossed through the main wing of the house where everybody seemed to be sleeping with quiet, concealed footsteps towards the hospital. He went to the second story using the front stairs in the corner of the waiting room. As he passed by the sick room, he could see that only the nurse's station light was on. The recovery room was dark, and peeking in all he could see was the screen. It didn't seem like anybody was there, so he thought that Kyouko must have been taken to the operating room too. He wondered if the sickness had gotten that bad. 

He was sure he should have been able to get to the operating room through the nurse's station, but when he put his hand to the door it was closed. He tried returning to the recovery room, but that was closed up too. With no other choice he went down the hallway to the free door pushing it open. The door to the front room opened easily. 

Clothing was thrown and scattered about the seats of the front room. Looking towards the operating room beyond, Toshio was still in his white doctor's coat, bent over the operating table as he turned to look at Seishin. Surgical lighting shone above the operating table, over a white naked body from which Seishin averted his eyes without thinking.

"Take off your top clothes and gown up. They're in the wash room next door. While you're going there, take the clothes on the seats in the front room to the laundry room for me."

"Sure, .....But,"

Hurry, Toshio cut him off, once again turning to face Kyouko. Kyouko's face was white, her eyes firmly shut.

"Kyouko-san, don't tell me that she's,"

"She's dead."

I see, Seishin murmured in his heart. When he'd seen Toshio in his white coat, it had occurred to him that it was beyond the point of taking life saving measures now.

As he was told he returned to the front room, gathering up the scattered clothing to take to the washroom. While looking for the washing machine, Seishin became frozen in place. What were those test tubes lined up? Most had a dark red liquid in them, with most separating out. The brownish red samples prepared looked like they were spotted with blood.

"---Toshio."

Seishin peered from the washroom to the operating room. Turning around the corner, he saw Toshio's handiwork. Toshio was sutring Kyouko's chest. Above Kyouko's shoulder was a stake pulled out and stained with dark reddish blackness.

Seishin swallowed a breath. Toshio's eyes rose from his task. "It's just what it looks like. Kyouko's dead."

"......Did she, revive?"

Yeah, Toshio nodded. He cut the suturing thread. 

"This--no, I guess it's already yesterday---evening she rose up. She just went to sleep permanently a bit ago."

To sleep permanently was a fitting phrase. Yes--an awoken corpse had its sleep disturbed. This was putting it back to sleep. And this time into a sleep that would be permanent. No matter what words one used to cover it up, it was killing a Shiki and that truth wouldn't change, but certainly calling it putting them to sleep would weaken the resistance on the hunter's part. That was the magic of words. 

"It's messy," said Toshio, his white coat splotched all over with blood. The cuffs of his sleeves were bright red. "Gown up. Put on gloves too. It might be dangerous to touch bare handed."

While saying that, Toshio took of his white coat. He held it out towards Seishin. "While you're going, take this one to be washed too." 

Nodding, Seishin took the white gown in hand as Toshio followed and sat down on the only chair in the washing room. Taking off his gloves and throwing them away, he lit a cigarette.

"Toshio......" Seishin sought out the detergent in the washroom, poured what looked like a suitable amount in and hit the switch. "What are those test tubes?"

"Kyouko's blood," Toshio said turning his eyes to the test tubes. "Looks like they're mostly dead, now."

"Dead?"

"That's probably the right term for it, anyway. That's most likely their real form. I dunno how to put it but the blood itself's alive, like, you know? I mean, it ain't like the blood itself is moving like an amoeba and attacking, but." Toshio leaned back into the chair heavily, completely worn down as he breathed out the smoke. For a while, he gazed as the smoke as if seeking something in it. "......Yeah, they're alive, I think. And they starve to death. Or maybe they suffocate to death. Once they die it separates out."

"The blood does?"

Toshio nodded. "Those ones that change color---the ones that haven't separated out yet, they go bright red again if you add human blood to them. They come back to life. The reason they attack people is probably based on that, I'm thinking."  Toshio said, giving a sarcastic laugh as he looked as Seishin who still stood there bewildered. "Kirishiki Seishirou and Tatsumi aren't Shiki. They're probably human."

"That can't be."

"That's all I can figure. Kyouko reacted to sunlight. The sunlight's no good for them. They burn and blister." 

Seishin found himself looking to the operating room. Toshio continued, still exhausted. "Even if it doesn't look like it, there's no sign of it left's all. Their ability to recover from injury's nothing short of miraculous. You can literally see it close up before your own eyes. A blade or a sharp edge or something used half-heartedly isn't going to stop them."

"......The stake?"

"Effective. Probably using a shotgun at close range or something would be too. Don't give them time to recover, destroy the blood vessel system in one go is the only way I figure. Or possibly, like the legends say, cutting off their head. 

Their blood's alive. And their brain is alive. But the fact is that Kyouko's breathing and heart rate never came back. Just, before she herself rose up, brain waves appeared. For a while they completely disappeared but they came back. Whether they really stopped completely, or if they were just slight enough at the level where the machine couldn't pick up on them, that I don't know, but I think I can at least say that Shiki aren't brain dead, they're corpses with an active brain. What's alive is probably that weird blood. I can't say for sure, but."

Seishin blinked. ---Right, if Kyouko rose up, it could only mean she had died once. 

"When did Kyouko-san die?"

"Five days ago...... On the 16th. After four full days the brain waves appeared, yesterday morning she started responding to the sunlight. She revived just past evening. I don't have any basis for comparison, so I can't say that all the Shiki revive about at that rate, but."

Seishin swallowed a breath. "......You were hiding it? That Kyouko-san died? Why?"

Toshio murmured. "I thought she might rise up." 

Seishin was at a loss for words. 

"So even though she died, you didn't say anything and were hiding the corpse? You confirmed that she rose up, drove a stake into her and killed her......?"

"I didn't have any other way," Toshio said, lazily closing his eyes. "Not a single drug had any effect. Their healing rate's abnormally high. Did seem like incense and smells like that had an effect. Magic works too. For whatever reason it looks like it provokes a fear response. Crosses, honzens, both got her to show signs of fear. But it doesn't seem like they're afraid of Buddhism itself. Seems like it's the spectacle that scares them. Like that radiation shape behind the Buddha's head. Same with the cross, a straight lines put into that shape must scare them. But the only reaction it evokes is a fear response. It'll be effective in repelling an attack but they won't put them to sleep for good."

Seishin could feel himself going pale. "Not a single drug had any effect? ......You tested them?"

Yeah, Toshio nodded. "So I figure there's no way to stop them from rising up after they're already dead. At least, not by any means I could do in secret. If we're going to stop them from rising up, we'd have to stake them when they're buried or cut off their head. There's no other way to stop those who have risen up or to keep them from rising up in the first place."

Sitting before Seishin who had lost his capacity for words, Toshio turned his eyes to his hand suddenly aware of it. It had burnt down to the filter; throwing it away, he turned around. 

"Lend me a hand. For now we've got to clean up the operating room. We have to put Kyouko in clean bedclothes and get her back to the recovery room. ---Ah, and the wound'll have to be covered with a bandage or something."

"......Why?" 

Asked that by Seishin, Toshio stood there looking at Seishin dubiously. "I can't let other people see her like that, can I?"

Toshio shrugged his shoulder. That wasn't what Seishin was asking about, but he didn't interject.

"I can't just keep other people from seeing that part. She'll have to be put in a white burial kimono and all. Explaining the wound itself I can probably get around saying it had to be done for treatment purposes or something like that, but I don't want anyone to really see exactly what kind of wound it is. All I injured was a corpse but other people probably won't look at it that way. They'll think I killed Kyouko for sure."

"Is that not exactly what you did?" 

Toshio looked up and stopped on his way to the operating room, turning to face him. "What'd you just say?"

"You killed Kyouko-san. You hid that she died and preserved the corpse. You used her once she revived for a lab experiment, and at the end of it you killed her."

"Seishin," Toshio's mouth opened. "It wasn't like that and you know it."

"It wasn't like that? What part was wrong?"

"Listen, Kyouko was,"

"Kyouko-san was ill. With an unknown illness. It's possible that that was the result of being attacked by the Shiki. But none the less, she died. And then she rose up."

"Exactly. Kyouko became a Shiki."

"Then answer this, what is a Shiki? Setting aside the reasons behind it, they are patients who died of a disease whose initial symptoms are anemia. They die and a strange post-mortem phenomenon occurs. For whatever reason it seems like after a fixed period, they revive. ---Doesn't this mean that by the real meaning of death, they are not dead?"

"Kyouko was dead."

"If she revived, she is not really dead. Isn't a part of the definition of death that it's irreversible? Since she revived, no matter how much it resembled death, it was not death. It was only an apparent death. Patients that appear death rise. These risen patients, they attack people. This strange disease spreads by means of these attacks."

"I told you, they're vampires!"

"You're free to call the disease with these symptoms "Vampiric Illness" if you want. But it doesn't change the fact that you killed a patient who revived from an apparent death."

"Listen," Toshio said thrusting a finger out at Seishin. "Kyouko died. She woke up but during that time she had no pulse and no breathing, her heart was stopped. She didn't come back to life. That was a corpse."

"And the medical basis for that is? What's the definition of "death' that you're proposing?" When asked that by Seishin, Toshio kept his mouth shut in spite of wanting to speak. "Was she really dead, was that really a corpse? Can you objectively say that without any doubt?"

"She was---"

"Death is irreversible isn't it? Can you call a reversible death death? Do you need to reacquaint yourself with the definition of death? Or can you just declare that a body that's not breathing and has no pulse is a corpse? Does a corpse have brain waves? Why would a corpse move?"

That's, Toshio faltered. 

"Wasn't what you should have been doing been finding out whether Kyouko was really dead, why, if she was, the corpse was moving, why something thought to be dead revived, finding the source of that, and seeking a medical treatment for that?"

And yet Toshio was seeking a way to kill her. He used his own wife. That was the reason he went through the trouble of hiding her death, of hiding her corpse. 

"If you could say that it was to save your patients, I would cooperate with you completely! ---But, if it's to obliterate patients who go against your understanding and common sense, I cannot cooperate."

Toshio looked up and leveled a glare directly at Seishin. 

"Then lemme ask you this, how do you want it? What will it take to please you?"

"That's,"

"The deaths are continuing in the village. The victims they attack are dying. Are you saying to leave it be and watch it carefully? The Shiki being killed is cruel and people being killed isn't? Refusing to be their food, taking steps to repel the enemy to protect ourselves is unforgivable? ---Nobody wants themselves or their own family to die. Even you yourself, didn't you say that you wanted to put a stop to this? If it's a disease, it should be stopped but if it's because of the Shiki attacking we should just let it be, is that how you want it to be?!"

This time it was Seishin's turn to be pressed for silence. 

"If we show consideration for where they're coming from, are they gonna make concessions too? They must have to attack people. If they don't attack people, they'll starve. Probably if they starve, the blood dies, and the person does too. So to avoid that they desperately attack people. You pity the Shiki and won't hunt them, so what, do b you plan to tell them to stop attacking and die that way? Are you thinking they're going to take you up on such an unreasonable demand?!"

"......That's,"

"That part of you's insufferable cowardice! At the heart of it, you just don't want to dirty your own hands. So the Shiki rising up isn't something you couldn't call coming back to life. Maybe so, I mean, the brain was moving. The person themselves was probably thinking even. They got feelings. If you base it on all that, there's no difference between them and people. If you call killing erasing a single personality, then hunting the Shiki and killing a person might be the same. And you're not a Shiki. So you don't need to dirty your own hands killing anyone. That's why you can approve of Shiki hunting humans. Hunting the Shiki means getting your own hands dirty. You'd have to take part in the massacre. So you're saying you don't wanna. ---Am I wrong? "

"......That's it precisely," Seishin sighed. "I don't want to become a mass murderer. Because I don't think that fatally wounding another, no matter how much of a just cause there is behind it can be justice. It isn't that I approve of the Shiki hunting humans. Be they Shiki or be they human, I think that one should not slaughter others. But, as to whether Kyouko-san attacked others or not to prolong her existence, that it something that should have been left to her to decide. That is not just an argument that I'm making verbally. Even if I could condemn her actions, I could not order her to do this or that. The only one whose actions I am able to control are my own."

"And so even if they are a Shiki you don't want to kill them, and that's your own freedom of choice, you wanna say, right?" Toshio's mouth tapered into a warped smile. "Right now you and me are the only ones who know what's really going on in this village, and us standing here and letting the Shiki do what they want saying it's their right is an act that indirectly approves of and leads to other people being slaughtered, but that's not your problem, in other words."

That's not it, he wanted to say but even he himself wasn't sure if that wasn't in fact what he meant. 

"You can criticise but you can't order? Just before, when you were blaming me for murder, you mean to tell me that was just criticism?"

Seishin hung his head. Toshio spit out: "Since you don't seem to get it, let me spell it out for you. People like you are called hippocrites." 

That we are, Seishin murmured in his heart.

"I made a choice, I acted on it. I can't just let the contamination spread. So I'll hunt the Shiki. They're my enemy, so even if they're a part of my own family I'm not letting them off. This is my justice. Unless you've got something to say about that, get out. I don't have time to listen to your "criticisms." "

Seishin had no words to return to that. And so, he did exactly as he was told. 



There was no mistake in Toshio's labeling him a hypocrite, he thought. Seishin didn't want to hunt the Shiki. Indeed, it was true that he didn't want to dirty his own hands. He didn't have the courage to take an action classified as a sin. He couldn't build up the murderous intent to decisively commit a sin just because they were a threat to him and his own.

Whether they were human or not didn't make a different. He didn't want to kill anyone. To tell the truth, if all of the people---he wished for the Shiki's wish to come true. If it did, the God that he believed in, that reasoning would become universally consistent, as he wished.

(People......) 

Seishin thought, trying to make a playful excuse for himself as he went.

(Either can desire to kill, or there are those who cannot desire to kill......)

When faced with a threat, there were herbivores who could not do but flee, and there were carnivores who could intimidate that threat, who could repel it. He wasn't a carnivore, and so he did not have such bloodthirsty logic within him; would that excuse work?

While thinking he returned to the temple. Dejected, he turned to the temple office desk. What a cowardly and unjust sheep he was. He could only go on living while munching on bits of grass while holed up in a safe place. 

While thinking, he opened the drawer. Taking out the manuscript, he then cocked his head.

(Somebody.....)

Something about it seemed just faintly off. For example, the sides of the Japanese writing paper, the corners. It made him think of when he'd passed his manuscript to an editor, when it had passed through somebody else's hands before returning to him. 

(Somebody touched it? ......It couldn't be?)

Neither Mitsuo nor Miwako laid a hand on Seishin's desk. Much less did they ever pull out the drawer and look inside. 

Tilting his head he turned the manuscript paper over. None of the numbered pages were missing. Taking stock of all he had written he aimlessly looked over the paper, and that was when Seishin's hand stopped. 

There was writing in the margins of the paper. Lightly pencilled letters. Of course it wasn't in Seishin's handwriting, as Seishin did not write in the margins.

Why did he kill his little brother?

Seishin stared fixedly at those letters. 

The older brother gave in to a whim. He didn't feel like writing more than that. Just as Seishin himself had, he had just been driven by a meaningless impulse. It was precisely because he didn't have the desire to kill that the older brother who wandered the wasteland's anguish was so deep---.

While thinking, Seishin paged further into the manuscript when he once again came upon the writing.

Killing without the intent to kill is an accident, not a murder.

There is no murder without the intent to kill.

There is no intent to kill without a reason.

Seishin stared at the writing was a hollowed out feeling. Those letters had arrested his gaze. 

(But,) Seishin stared at the writing. (......There really wasn't any reason at all.)

Comments

Re: 8D

[(Anonymous)]

8D -- Ah no, I hail from Southeast Asia. Here, K-Pop and Korean dramas are more popular than their Japanese counterparts by much. Korean dramas often get into television while for Japanese ones I can only recall the tokusatsu ones being aired, and even their popularity seems to be dwindling (the ones that are still being aired are usually reruns too). There's no reason you cannot be any good if you do lots of practice to improve yourself, and writing does seem to be your passion too. You can definitely do it!

Natsuno often comes off as a jerk, which I don't condone in any way, but at the very least he doesn't expect people to treat him better than how he treat people. I think if he actually wishes to be treated respectfully, he'll start to treat others as respectfully too. He's utterly blunt and cold but he's okay with people being like that towards him. I admire this part of him. I personally see strength in doing everything to preserve life even if it means stooping so low, or in Natsuno's case, keeping true to one's moral principles even at the cost of life. I cannot blame others for stooping low when I'd perhaps also do so if I were in their shoes. Some people might see Natsuno as being stupid, but I think the most important thing is he himself doesn't regret his decision. I also very well cannot blame Toshio for doing what he did, even if I think what he did to Kyouko is uncalled for. I still admire his determination on not killing Shiki's human allies.

I just hope that if they were going to meet again, it wouldn't take so long that Toshio would be much older because he wasn't going to be as physically fit as his 30 year old self, and Seishin already had so many advantages over him as a Jinrou. But then again Toshio would refuse to lose just because he was getting old, and would definitely use his brain to his advantage. I can see them taking 5 to 10 years to meet, and seeing Seishin looking just as old as Toshio last remembered him to be would definitely feel like a blast from the past. Or probably a hurricane. He'll adapt for sure, but I think he'll also be haunted by the old Seishin. Whenever he sees Seishin acting differently, I think he'll sometimes cannot help but compare him to his past self.

Re: 8D

[mgnsh83]

Ah, cool. Here, it's a bit different--I think K-pop and rock are popular, but Korean graphic novels aren't in the markets. I think there are some translated scanlations online, but even then they're more difficult to find. I think I also did read something about tokusatsu awhile back, but I can't remember offhand too much about them (ah, the ravages of getting old). Heh, do you recall the parts where it was said that Seishin would make holes in his writing paper from erasing/writing with so much pressure? He's a perfectionist, and so am I. We're not known for getting things done at a rapid rate. :P But who knows, perhaps someday I'll write something worth a damn despite myself. Thank you for the encouragement. :)

There's something to be admired in Natsuno, true, even if he's blunt. There's usually something to be admired in almost anyone, some positive quality, even if as an overall person they're an ass. I think Shiki was deliberately set up to show that humanity, while seeing itself as superior, often has the same downfalls as the monsters they say they're against, so it leaves the question of, 'Who is the true monster?' Every human, regardless of who they are, where they're from, or what allegiances they claim to have, is capable of such things, I think. They don't act on it because of laws and civility, but what happens when those things go out the window? Many books/media have explored it, but Shiki captures it in a way that I haven't seen a lot of other media do. Kyouko didn't deserve to die the way she did, that's true. I sort of wonder what would happen if Toshio had allowed her to live. Likely he would have wound up one of the Shiki himself, or more probably, she would have joined Sunako and they would have ended up confronting one another anyway.

I can easily see Toshio scoff at the concept of being seen as old. He's somewhat irreverent to begin with, so if someone claimed he couldn't do something based on age, I could see him doing his best to try anyway just to prove them wrong. If Toshio is haunted by the old Seishin and blown away by the new one, it makes me wonder how a new Seishin would see Toshio? In a pitying way, 'He's going to grow old and die, while I can't', as a former friend with misguided views, an enemy? It's interesting to consider for sure.

Re: 8D

[(Anonymous)]

8D -- Here manhwa can always be found, though I don't know if it covers every title available in the home country. The example of Tokusatsu are Ultraman and Power Rangers. Power Rangers isn't Japanese, but wiki says it's technically also a tokusatsu. I don't know Seishin's reasoning on using 2H pencil, but that's probably because they don't smear easily if touched or anything. I bought one because I was curious and tried to apply it the same way Seishin does; it's a pain to erase it. Writing with a lot of pressure speaks concentration, so you're probably right. I like that first chapter because you can already see a glimpse of Seishin's philosophies. When it comes to writing (in general) and such, I also have my own, so it's interesting to see others'. I personally don't exactly like using pencils, but my experiences only include 2B anyway, I think that's the norm. I try to write on my own too from time to time even if it's just for myself, but the moment ideas leave my head, I usually become bored easily. It probably speaks volumes about my determination, lol.

There are certainly things to learn even from the worst people. I think only humanity is capable of becoming a monster, but in this case, it extends to anything that have humans' way of thinking or something similar to it. I personally don't see any difference between humans and Shiki in this regard. They're both capable of the exact same thing to the exact same degree. True, humans don't need to consume on other humans' blood to survive, but Shiki themselves don't actually need to kill their preys (as stated by Toshio; they can only fill their stomach so much on one meal and it wouldn't kill their preys) so I believe there are other motives, ones that they actually choose to do and not natural instincts, as to why they end up killing their preys. Humans and Shiki have exact similar thought processes and the only thing distinguishing them from one another is their physiology. Not saying that Shiki is to be included within humanity, because that would be incorrect (humanity isn't only about mental qualities, but also physiological/biological ones and other stuffs I think?), and they certainly want to set themselves apart from humans too (and so do humans from them) but... yeah, that's my opinion. I think they're quite similar to people/groups who try to kill one another because of different interests, motives or visions, though humans certainly have legit reason to want Shiki dead. I wonder too about what would happen if Toshio becomes a Shiki, but since Seishin is one, I think it'd be more fitting if Toshio just didn't have the genes to become one. More contrasts between him and Seishin. Besides, Takae was killed and not turned and I think that's a smart way to show that Toshio can either have the genes or not, but I think it'd fit more if he didn't.

I think Seishin would somehow pity Toshio because as a mortal, he'd die someday so as a self he'd cease to be. Jinrou is technically alive, so I don't think they are immortal -- just beings with ridiculously long lifespan who age reaaaal slowly. You can only have death if you have life, so if you don't have life to begin with you cannot have death (is Shiki alive or dead though? I think this is a question that transcends technical reasoning and is up to every individual's interpretation). I think the reason as to why Seishin isn't very thrilled by the thought of death (despite of what he might seem to people) is mainly because when you die, you're no longer 'you' as a unique identity, and humans' lifespan is ridiculously short. Seishin may not be very thrilled by the aspect of living the way he is supposed to be, but he's not suicidal, at least as Muroi Seishin, the heir to the mountain temple. He'll probably also be like 'If you stand in my way I'm gonna kill you' towards Toshio. I don't know if he'll attach himself to any Shiki group, but there's a possibility he'll not. Speaking about identity, I don't know if he'll embrace the identity as a Shiki fully as it is, or if he's going to develop his own by making the Shiki identity a vehicle or some sort, but the latter is way more likely for an individualist. Individualists at their core stand at odds with any group, and I see no reason he'll not be even with other Shiki years down the road. The old Seishin was someone who still attached himself to a group (Sotoba) even if it was probably more in body than in mind, but that's natural to any human. Seishin who's no longer human may perceive things differently. I have to say that a Seishin who no longer has any ties with humanity/world is a force to be reckoned with, even to someone like Toshio.

Speaking about Toshio, since I read a fanfic (shippy) long ago where Toshio died from lung cancer, I cannot get it out of my mind. It could probably be another contrast between these two guys where one had looong way ahead of him and one had short lifespan. I'm entertaining the idea that if they were going to both die in that second encounter, Toshio was also dying himself at that time.

Re: 8D

[mgnsh83]

I usually write in pen when I go to draft something. My room is full of notebooks with rough drafts to several things, all mostly scenes that never make it to a word processor. Being the oddball that I am in that respect, I don't fully trust computers even with things like the cloud because I've had one too many things deleted before. I used to have a friend who came from the Philippines, and he told me that there were a lot of things there you could find in other parts of SE Asia, as well as things that were unique to that country themselves. Tokusatsu were popular in English, but weren't heavily edited for content as they were when they were broadcasted here, so when he came here and saw the same episodes with things taken out, he was kind of surprised. It's interesting to hear about the differences between different places and people. I think I may have had a go-around with such a pencil before, and the marks they make, unless you're very light on writing with it, never quite go away. You'll ruin the eraser or the paper long before the marks totally fade. It definitely is a testament to Seishin's personality. I wonder if he became a writer so he wouldn't be forgotten? I recall he kept at it because someone in university encouraged him to, not because he felt it was best for him, but for a lot of artists in general that's an added element, I've noticed.

I think the Shiki are meant to be somewhat of an allegory for any 'alien' group in general, especially in situations where the people who were there first lived isolated lives prior to the other group's arrival. There's suspicion on both sides about the other's motives and goals, so that breeds discontent, and in extreme cases, crimes and avoidance. Sotoba sounds like a lot of farming communities in Japan, if the news I read was correct--people are having less kids because they're no longer an agricultural society, so there are more old than young people, and the number is projected to go up as time goes on if things keep on as they are, so a lot of these farming communities are, for all intents and purposes, ghost towns. Younger people want to move to cities and pursue their own interests. I remember there was another discussion on what the Shiki were really up to, and it had a social component; they didn't need to kill their prey, but chose to because they wanted to make more of themselves so they could avoid living lonely lives. That seemed to be Sunako's main goal in the animanga, anyway. I imagine it's probably similar here, but we'll see.

Ah, I'd forgotten if Jinrou were immortal or just very slow-aging. I can see what you're saying there. Judging by Toshio's reaction at the end of the story, though, I do wonder if he would simply accept that this is who/what Seishin has become (hence rendering any confrontation moot in the first place), or if he would try to reason with him as he would have in the past. It would all likely be to no avail either way. As far as his identity goes, he's not truly Shiki or human, and if there are no other Jinrou around that Seishin knows about, I wonder how that might also affect things?

I read that same fic. :) I recall Sunako deliberately made Seishin think that she'd died so that he could live a life without her being front and center, which for her seemed very unselfish given her previous canonical actions, but it the fic wasn't so horribly out of character that it made me want to hit the back button. Seishin was still more bold than he used to be, but on losing Sunako for a time he somewhat reverted back to his old self and relied a little on Toshio, who was by turns surprised by how much he'd changed in some ways and remained the same in others. I can see that happening between the two of them (maybe minus the part where they become lovers). Unfortunately, it doesn't seem that there are too many quality Shiki fanfics around. =/

Re: 8D

[(Anonymous)]

8D -- I kind of hate my own handwriting so for me computer it is. Everything is just a lot less messy and quicker, though I did write quite many times on my notes and such. I draw more than I write, though it's mostly doodles. According to a chapter, what Seishin first wrote (that was remotely any closer to a novel) was when he was giving a statement/explanation for his suicide attempt. I think it was his dorm advisor who asked him to? He said that if Seishin didn't want to give a verbal explanation, he could write it down. He ended up writing something incomprehensible about himself which irritated his dorm advisor. Seishin soon realized that what he wrote was closer to chapters of a novel than anything, so he began writing more. After that, he was discovered by Tsuhara. I think it's his way to explore himself, and also to show to the world what kind of an individual he actually is. I remember that I once did a similar thing, but it was when I had to write a short story for my language class and I didn't know what to write, so I wrote about myself (things I pondered about) instead lol. I probably should do it more, because I tend to discover more stuffs when I write it down instead of only thinking about it in my head. I also think that his writing in such a way that leaves a mark which is not easily erased symbolizes his wanting to made an impact in the world as his own self. "This is me, I exist, and I will not be easily destroyed, even by myself."

I think it's also like that for Sotoba as a farming community. As an alien group, the Shiki are a threat, and it'll also probably be true even if they don't go around killing people. Well, even if they don't go around killing people, I think the villagers have a right to be wary of them because of what they can potentially do. If they were similarly human, but very obviously a different group, I think the villagers will still be wary of them because they could impose themselves on them, and as a certain identity Sotoba will be under threat. I remember an instance where a Takemura-someone first built the church (the one Seishin frequently goes to) and the village leaders were obviously alarmed, because Sotoba was very exclusively Buddhist and afraid he'd convert the villagers. They were pacified somehow knowing that this Takemura person had no such intent, and that the church he built didn't denote to any real branch of Christianity and that he was just an eccentric, but they still estranged him somehow. So yeah, it leads to conflict, especially if the foreign group indeed has this kind of intent. And the Shiki themselves do it in such a way lots of people will find disagreeable.

I also think that as the novel itself says, Shiki is also about death. Nothing is without an end, and nothing that's alive will not someday die. Relationships end and change, life changes, people change, belief and views change, even a community will someday die. In a way, you're probably born only to die. You're born to prepare for your death too, which could be in a lot of ways -- including making an impact on this world. But death itself is a concept a lot of people try to avoid, including Seishin, and that's only natural.

I think unless it's completely necessary Toshio will just leave it be, despite his exact feelings about it (like that one instance where he isn't actually very thrilled by Seishin's betrayal but what can be done? Seishin has chosen a side, and if it comes down to it he'll probably end up being killed) Things have changed too, and it'd not go back to before just because he talked it out. I don't really know, but I think unless he's sure Seishin is a definite threat, he'll just leave Seishin be. I think he'll soon know that Seishin isn't a Shiki (being alive, going out at day) and that he'll not require blood to survive. I think he'll give him hell though if Seishin still dares to harm someone despite not actually requiring blood. I think it'll require a big thing happening for Toshio to actually try to reason with Seishin, as he sees fit. His being a Jinrou is a nice symbolism too I think, someone who's not a Shiki nor human, and in the end he's still this someone who cannot /really/ identify with any group and that he'll ultimately be alone. Individualists already have instincts to separate themselves from any group, but since they also come with natural instincts to align themselves with others so that they'll not be alone, it'll turn into a feeling of being estranged. It's like something that repels you but attracts you at the same time. Individualists feel isolated, but they ultimately also isolate themselves. They both see the beauty but also a curse in detaching themselves (or that's what I think anyway).

I ship them, so I want them to be together romantically in a way or another though I also (grudgingly) admit that this is rather unlikely to happen. All in all, I try to be content enough with how the novel turns out (which is heavensent, by the way). Lots of interesting details of their dynamic explained. I like that Toshio seems to be more fond of Seishin than he is in the animanga. And yeah, ugh, I definitely feel the lack.