Shiki Novel Translations 2.9.6

[sinnesspiel]

6

By the time Toshio was freed from his patients, the wake was already long over. He hurried to show his face at the Mutou household, to give his condolences to Mutou and Shizuko once again. From there, at that spot, he got ahold of old man Koike.

He asked about what happened with his son and the others but, when he tried that, old man Koike made a cool face. He still forced the issue, following Koike home to ask him about it in more detail. Were the family members who left really showing signs of being in bad health, concretely what kind of condition were they in? The more he asked, the more he could only think Koike's son's family had an outbreak.

(Outbreak--Moving.)

There shouldn't be any association between them. And yet a clear cause and effect relationship was drawing itself out. Something was strange. Something impossible was happening.

By the time he returned home caught up in his thoughts the date had changed. Seishin was waiting in his bedroom.

"You're here?" he asked nonchalantly, seeing the other's stiff expression, he grasped that the situation had taken a bad turn. "....You look like you wanna say something."

"What did you say to Ishida-san?"

Ah, that, Toshio muttered to himself. He figured he'd be found out at some point but the timing was just awful. Toshio's was already at a stalemate. It was like an investigation making no progress. Not only that, something of unknown substance was present on a secondary level, and the depths of confusion were growing. Nevermind if he'd been having results or findings, in their current state, if he were blamed for hushing up Ishida now, even Toshio didn't have anything to counter with.

"I don't plan to ask why. Just allow Ishida-san to pass on the data that's been assembled to Kanemasa and the assembly."

"Seishin---listen?"

"It's urgent."

Toshio sighed. "In cases like these, there's no choice but to confine it. Even if it stops the spread of the disease, it won't save the village."

"That's sophistry."

"Sophistry? I'm not kidding around. What other means are you trying to say there are besides that? Something like an epidemic is passing through Sotoba. We don't know its real form but at the very least it's not a known infectious disease. If there's no legal bases, the administration can't move. They can't provide any relief measures or anything."

"Then I'll ask you this; what would be the basis for that confinement?"

"That's,"

"How, specifically, will they quarantine us? You're surely not planning to say that the city is going to dispatch police and defense forces here to blockade the highway, right?"

Toshio kept silent as his weak point was thrust into.

"It isn't realistic at all. Even if and no matter how much Mizobe might wish for it, they can't do it in practice. Nevermind blockading the road, aside from that how on earth are you saying they're going to keep people from leaving the village? What about the people who work outside the village? What about the people who commute to school. And the people who just go out shopping? How are you going to keep them from entering shops and making direct contact? Are they going to do like the Nazis and put labels on them like the Jews?"

"....Indeed," Toshio sighed. "Even I don't seriously think that the administration can take that drastic of measures. But, there's no doubt people'll hurry to protect themselves. Sotoba will be closed off below the radar. With tangible and intangible pressures."

Seishin's response was low. "If the existence of the disease is known, Sotoba will be discriminated against and avoided. That's only natural, and doesn't change whether the administration takes action or not. It's something that will inevitably happen, unavoidably."

Toshio kept silent. Toshio knew full well that his friend who seemed mild mannered at a glance could become frightfully severe when a line was crossed. Toshio himself would admit that he was quite the nihilist but there were times when he thought that Seishin was even more of a nihilist than himself. He had to wonder if he himself was aware of that.

"....There's no meaning to it. Forbidding him from reporting it doesn't change a thing. Even after it's reported, I can't imagine the administration is going to dispatch a team of doctors to save Sotoba. All the more because we can't even name the disease. Even so, they can't proactively disadvantage Sotoba either. It'd be impossible to quarantine. Even you should know that."

Toshio clicked his tongue in his mind. Yeah--He knew. It was exactly right.

Seishin looked at Toshio with a a blunt expression. "The quarantine is an excuse. Even you don't believe that. You wanted to keep the situation under your control."

Toshio sighed. "....I dont want outsiders butting in."

"That's why you kept the information hushed?"

"That's right." Toshio looked at Seishin. "That's exactly right. Of course they're not going to quarantine is. But, if we send up a formal report, sooner or later people'll realize the abnormality. They'll think there's an unknown disease in Sotoba and know that it's spreading. That said, you think they're good enough people to offer out any assistance? Unless there's a fire under their own asses they won't do a thing, definitely. But, doesn't it make you uneasy? We don't know when it's going to flow from Sotoba and start infecting Mizobe. So they'll start interfering and butting in. It's obvious that's how it'll go."

"The government will start giving word and you won't be able to take initiative."

"That's exactly it. The three pillars system is an unofficial one. It doesn't reach outside of Sotoba. The government's not going to leave the situation to me. It's obvious they'll start sending in annoying orders. And worse they're going to talk nonsense."

For example, Toshio said, confirming something he imagined many times over. The mountain stream that flowed through the village poured into the Omi River which cut through Mizobe. The Omi River was Mizobe's fountainhead. The town's first thought would be not to contaminate the water. They'd run about the village to manage waste water and check the water quality, not doing much of anything for the patients suffering before their eyes. Countless things like that would doubtlessly begin happening.

"To them saving Sotoba's going to be secondary. Their own safety comes first, making sure it doesn't get out of Sotoba will be their top priority. They'll give minute instructions to that end. I'll get worked to death with ineffective tasks, taking time away from curing the essential patients themselves." And furthermore, Toshio spit out. "While that's happening, the situation will get even more stringent. Look at the bunch in the village. Lately they've finally started to realize that it's abnormal. Even just within the village it's taken this long. How long is it going to take for people outside of Sotoba, to people we're ultimately just the other shore to to sense that things are off? By the time the bunch of them outside acknowledge it, inside the village is going to be in such a state of disarray, completely over a barrel. Then in they'll come nonchalantly having us put out reports, giving out nonsense orders to bog us down. Despite that, they'll run their mouths but won't take any action. They'll just hold us back. So I kept it hushed."

Seishin's voice was curt and cold. "If you think that is a sound argument, why did you not say that to persuade Ishida-san from the start?"

Toshio was at a loss for an answer.

"It is true the town will have their say. I understand completely that their say will seem like nonsense to those on the scene. ---And? How is that different from you throwing a fit, saying that it will be a pain to deal with them at every turn and so claiming you don't want to?"

"That's."

"Isn't it true that an annoying back and forth is necessary? But, between letting that go forward now and letting the situation become more stringent until it's at the level where there's nothing that can be done without the administration's help to do it, which is really more to the benefit of your patients?"

Toshio fell silent and averted his gaze.


"Put a report in order for me. I'll go to talk with Kanemasa. No matter what reason you make for it, you've shirked your duties. And furthermore intentionally. I can't forgive something like this."

Toshio sighed and hung his head. "Seishin..."

"You condemned the administration as useless. So their interactions and support will be useless, you're saying. ---Am I wrong? You want them to be useless. You want them to provide foolish measures. Telling yourself that they must be, you made up a just cause to fail to report it. There's no reason or any such to it, you want to control your own situation. You don't want outsiders to have their say. You don't want them to come in from the sidelines and snatch away what's yours."

Toshio looked at Seishin's bluntly stiff expression.

"In other words, I was driven by ambition to push Ishida-san to keep his mouth shut? I'm pretty untrustworthy to you, huh."

Seishin shook his head with the same cold expression. "This is more simple than that. No human being can escape the idea that they are the center of the universe."

"Seems like you think I'm a hopelessly egotistical, selfish person."

"I don't. Whatever person we may be talking about, they believe that they themselves are the one and only core of the world. Everything outside of themselves is merely recognized like an object, they can't escape the idea that they are the only true center. They can't accept that they are nothing but one of the masses that claim to be the center. So they get caught up in the situation and refuse to be relegated to a minor role."

Is that how you see people, Toshio wanted to ask but didn't give voice to. Inside of Seishin was a vacant hole even Toshio couldn't understand. He thought he caught glimpses of it in the occasional acridity that showed itself, an extraordinarily pessimistic attitude towards man and society, but he wasn't sure. He thought that that was the very reason that his friend who at a glance didn't seem to have any problems at all would choose death but he'd never asked the other himself about it. Toshio never brought the topic up.

"....My bad." Toshio sighed lightly and raised a hand. "It might be just like you say. I'm not especially looking to be a hero but it's true I don't want to end up being in a position of just being told by others what to do. I can't deny that I felt like I'd do something about this situation," Toshio said with self derrision. "To be honest, I'd underestimated the situation. I was thinking if I investigated it, I'd be able to see the cause, then I'd know how to treat it. So I thought somehow or another I could pull it off. But, it isn't something that simple. ---Just before I came back from meeting with Koike-san."

"The Koike's Masaharu-san?"

Toshio nodded, telling him that Hirosawa Toyoko had an outbreak, that regardless of how much Toshio pushed on her to come to the hospital, she moved. The same with Maebara Setsu. There was a connection that shouldn't be between the people moving and the illness.

"I've realized it's probably out of my hands, isn't it? I get the feeling it's too dangerous for me to be cocky enough to think I can do it alone. ....There's what happened with Mutou-san and all."

Seishin nodded.

"I'll man up and admit my crime. I'll tell Ishida it's urgent and consult with him for a written report. I'll take that and go explain the situation to Kanemasa. Urgently. ---Is it fine with that?"

Seishin nodded. And then at last, as if returning to his senses, a disturbed expression rose to his face.

"That was some way to talk to you," he said as if ashamed. "I know that Toshio is exhausting himself over this as best as he can.... I'm sorry."

Toshio showed a forced smile but at the same time he felt a chill in his spine. Toshio still didn't understand the nature of his childhood friend who could apologize like this while harboring that emptiness within him.

Comments

8D

[(Anonymous)]

Seishin is possessed. Possessed enough to enter Toshio's bedroom uninvited. Possessed enough to thoroughly scold him, render him speechless. Toshio needs that, though. (favorite line is definitely: Seishin was waiting in his bedroom)

Seishin manages to be creepy, too. While being scolded, Toshio's concern is specific: 'so you think I'm a bad person huh' but Seishin doesn't see it that way. He sees people in a general sense: 'humans are all like that and that's to be expected and I don't mind and it's not the problem here, but the problem lies in people who are at disadvantages.'

Tbh being friends with Seishin will feel like being friends with a ghost, perhaps. He's there, but at the same time it feels like he isn't, because he's that detached and empty. It'll feel unsettling to some others I bet.

Oh and finally the suicide issue is brought up. Toshio is apparently all quiet about it, perhaps because he doesn't understand Seishin. He's wary of him, doesn't know how to approach him because he doesn't get Seishin. Was he feeling afraid, perhaps?

All in all Seishin is a person like that, who perhaps sees people and world the equally -- generally, he's unlikely to play favorites or be biased about some groups of people? But I still believe that for him Toshio is in slightly higher level, somehow, but this chapter lacks his usual warmth towards Toshio because he's angry. Instead he feels cold and empty. But I like that he's not being biased about Toshio, even if he perhaps loves him unconditionally.

[sinnesspiel]

I'd agree with the ghost thing. I'd had a hard time with that, being an Ozaki RPer who didn't quite get Seishin fully--but nobody played Seishin, so if nothing else it was mostly okay. If other people get the feeling that being his friend is like befriending a ghost or having an unstable grasp on him, then I guess it was an appropriate feeling to have.

It seems that feeling cold and empty towards Ozaki--even if he says he thinks it's just normal for people to be like that--drives him to Sunako. Sunako seems to have a better understanding of him, or is willing to at least put some theories out there for him to refute. I think Sunako mostly just projects onto him more than anything, but the fact that so much of it sticks says something for their compatibility. Something I wish it didn't say, but.

8D

[(Anonymous)]

Seishin is kinda versatile in a way? He's indecisive, and can be rather inconsistent, though I think the inconsistency is mainly due to him having not found what he actually wants to do/wishes. That's what makes him in a way unstable, he's not constant. Toshio is sure of himself, that's why he's consistent, while Seishin is still in his own journey to self-discovery. He's made a considerable progress when Shiki's ending, but I think it's not really enough. I think he's still bound to feel discontent.

I'm glad Seishin can find someone to talk to, though. Sunako is interested in Seishin because she thinks she can relate to him, thinks he can understand her. Sunako finding solace in Seishin and Seishin her. In an otherwise cruel world, finding someone you feel you're able to relate to is very relieving. Because then it'll be less lonely. If we're talking about compatibility I definitely also think Sunako is more compatible with Seishin compared to Toshio. Even if in the end I think Sunako doesn't actually have that much similarities with Seishin, their personalities don't make a complete clash like Seishin's with Toshio's. Seishin and Sunako's core personalities aren't that much different. At least their way of thinking is similar enough that they can manage to get one another. I'm kinda surprised Seishin and Toshio manage to stick with one another for decades. (though yes, they also happen to have some technical similarities that in some ways they can relate to one another too)

Shiki is the story of Seishin and Toshio's divorce. (and Seishin finding new companion -- more compatible companion but otherwise platonic relationship. They can be affectionate though, I believe)

[airlynx]

What a verbal pwn! I wish I could animate more than ever so I could "make" this scene, but maybe I could draw it instead.

I like the way Toshio was kind of put on the spot, and how Seishin just basically let him know that he was like everyone else, thinking he's the only one in the universe. Of course, that makes Seishin quite the special snowflake. And Ozaki wasn't even that surprised at the outburst, I kind of imagined him to be more rattled; that implies that as a kid, Seishin showed more of his...inner emptiness and so Ozaki was familiar with it.

And regarding the next chapter a little bit too, Seishin's acceptance of the one family with the new religion makes sense now because he himself had his "own" religion. I feel more and more that the only reason for Sunako existing is to explain Seishin to the reader.

"It was a complicated feeling, being self conscious of his emotional dependance now on a girl young enough to be his daughter."
Nice dramatic irony there!

[sinnesspiel]

Yeah! This would have been great to see, and would have really fleshed out Seishin a lot, along with Ozaki. I'd have expected him to be the type who doesn't take getting lectured or snapped at well, but it seems for one who kicks himself for dishing it out, he takes it respectably, if not sulkily ("Oh, so you think I'm an egotistical piece of shit now, you hate me..."). The fact that he eventually snaps at Seishin about it being his justice later hits a lot harder when you see that, in the past, he has been open to criticism and moral rebuke from Seishin. He isn't just a "my way or the highway" brute. He felt as much as Seishin that they were just incompatible anymore.

[airlynx]

Urk, I really do wanna draw this somehow, but it's basically just Seishin and Ozaki arguing with each other face to face, so it's hard to make a conversation look dramatic. It would be waaaay cooler if it was animated, but at least it exists in writing. I'm just glad this scene exists.

Yeah, I was surprised too at how well Toshio handled Seishin's criticism. It had the feeling that Ozaki already knew all of this, and Seishin just reiterated what he knew and made him feel ashamed that he hadn't acted on this now. I really like their 'foil character' dynamic; here we really see that Toshio is more 'normal' than Seishin. Seishin rebukes him, but then admits that his behavior is no more different than what most people would do; I feel like he was even slightly disappointed that his childhood friend ended up to be 'like most people'. Ozaki is really aware of his flaws, and he also kind of does what he thinks is best despite that. His mode of behavior is so different from Seishin, who goes on to pine about his own personal beliefs to Sunako and that nobody believes in his God. Seishin perhaps feels ostracized because he's just a better person than everyone else, or likes to think so. Ozaki shares none of this lofty mindset and is just like Seishin said, kind of like most people. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

The sadness of Shiki doesn't just come from people dying, but relationships dying too. Ozaki and Seishin both make it out alive, but is that worth a lot if a friendship you've had your whole life is absent? I'd say yes and argue that more friends will come along later, but such a deep rooted friendship is hard to cover up with new ones.

It's always sad when one realizes that no matter how much they try, they can't stay friends with someone because they're just too different. It's kind of like sometimes during an argument, you just feel like you can't go on anymore because the opponent has such different opinions that it's useless trying to go through to them...so all that's left to do is give up. And it's so sad that each of them chose to give up on their relationship too, be it romantic or just a bromance. </3

[sinnesspiel]

In Seishin's case, where's he going to make more friends? With his custody of Sunako, I can't imagine him establishing many relationships that are terribly enduring, short of making more Shiki, and unless Seishin is all right with Sunako's plan to remake more... And that's if Sunako even still wants to make more, or to just feed and flee.

Short of running across more of themselves by chance, Seishin's got a lonely life ahead of him. As does Sunako.

[airlynx]

Seishin's sparkling personality might be another reason for his deep...attachment?...to Ozaki. Supposing he sticks to him out of consistency, he might also be afraid of letting go because he'd also be letting go of the one person he managed to have a good friendship with. He already feels out of place and alone supposedly, so he could be thinking, "he stuck with me all these years, it would be awful to just leave him hanging", and Seishin's whole deal is about trying to be a good person and measuring up in his own God's eyes. If he believes in justice, it would only be fair to remain with Toshio when the doctor has chosen him as a friend, out of all the other friends he could have had (wasn't he the ringleader of their friend group?). But then Seishin might also be the only person really willing to put up with Ozaki because he's so assertive and domineering that he comes up as unapproachable or intolerable. And then Seishin is unapproachable and intolerable too (because nobody can understand him, that would frustrate a lot of people) as he's so quiet and enigmatic. So it seems to me like they're a pair that can only really be friends with each other.

I wouldn't be surprised if one of the reasons Seishin decides to take Sunako with him is to prevent her from creating more Sotobas. Perhaps it's even in her interest; she sees herself as a monster for killing so many people, so he wants to prevent her from enhancing that self-image. Also, young girls need a strong female role model, and who better to look up to than Seishin, the prettiest girl in Sotoba?

[sinnesspiel]

Apparently Toshio didn't get along too well with other kids until he was older and in high school. Seishin also had some other friends at that time, such as Masa from the bookstore. It seems both had other options if they didn't particularly like each other... but the shared understanding of the pressures of their roles, both of their seeming disinclination towards marriage and family forming (Ozaki may as well be a bachelor really), the necessity of contact given their roles probably helps keep them together.

I really want to know if Seishin ever just makes social calls or heads to Toshio's when he's bored or vice-versa. As it is, I assume so because it's thought of as odd by outsiders that they're seen together, when there are plenty of practical reasons. But I could also see it as in fact being mostly practical, and people not knowing how the village works.

[airlynx]

I can see why; everyone kinda hates that one kid who's loud and obnoxious and hogs all the attention; that's kind of how I imagine child Ozaki to be like. Actually, maybe he still seems like that to some people; it's one thing to analyze what someone really is like, and another to analyze what other people see, after all. With Ozaki it would be easier than with others (like Seishin) because what you see is what you get with him; with Seishin, due to all his monologuing, we know that he is an idealistic individual with a strong sense of justice, to put it simply. On the outside however, he would just be a model monk with a quirky side job and weirdly single.

But Ozaki...I think other people would probably see him (present day, not his child self) as too cocky, annoying, etc, and actually may not trust him a lot as a doctor. Especially those who never go to the hospital would maybe think he's incompetent due to his appearance, and probably also his smoking habit, they'd think that he doesn't know enough to do his job well. I wonder if that distrust is a reason why it's hard to him to get a group to cooperate with to get rid of the Shiki? Aside from their not believing in the existence of vampires, of course. If not that, they might have a hard time trusting him.
But then again, the ones who would most likely not trust his expertise would be old people, thinking he's an obnoxious youngster, but the old people are the ones who would go to the hospital the most, so they'd know enough about him to be okay with Ozaki. And then the younger citizens would also be okay with him because he's young. Therefore, the whole village is actually probably 'okay with Ozaki'. ...So did I just answer my own question?


I think they probably do just hang out together, because even though their friendship isn't the healthiest, and they have serious miscommunication between them, they are still friends and have been for the past several decades. If they work every time they see each other, they wouldn't have a connection, and we can't deny that there is one. After all, both of them have other coworkers that they see more often than each other; Ozaki could be best friends with Mutou at work, he sees him almost every day. Although maybe Seishin would treat Ozaki just like all of his other coworkers he's friends with (I don't think he would, since his language becomes a lot more relaxed talking to Ozaki, showing that he's very familiar with him and you can't get that familiarity from just business related visits), I don't think that's true with Ozaki because he's not *quite* as friendly with his coworker friends as he is with Seishin; he also feels comfortable enough to troll Seishin by putting out his essays for patients to read.