Sinnesspiel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sinnesspiel) wrote2013-03-27 05:47 pm
sinnesspiel) wrote2013-03-27 05:47 pm
Conqueror of Shamballa Prototype Script Excerpts
Part D and the Epilogue had a few changes, and most of them are based on dropping things from removed plot threads and the like. I've also tried to include when scenes that are new to the final cut are missing from the prototype. As usual the prototype script notes are included, along with two closing notes by the script writer.
This is the end of the Shamballa Prototype script; I hope you've enjoyed it and that it's deepened your appreciation of the series/movie. If you're just looking to hate on the old series some more by fuming at their characterization (presumably anything written in here would also be in character for the pre-existing cast despite changes in the final cut) or the story or the writing or the setting or anything else, then I hope you have all the fuel you need to rage.
Speaking of the writing, there are a lot of ellipses. Those aren't because I'm omitting anything. The script just makes heavy, heavy, heavy use of them in the dialogue and descriptions.
Cut line of Ed's when he's going through the Gate and the little black things are clinging; "Sorry... I don't got anything for you guysl!"
Eckart has a line as well: "Oh Demons of the Door, your powers, give them to me!"
In the original cut where they're flashing people responding to the Earthquake (Gracia, the Armstrong family, etc.), there are State Alchemists from the committee trying to fix tings quickly with alchemy, but it's not going well.
When Ed's going through the Gate, the black things clawing at him do get his automail hand.
The scene after Al says he just wanted to open the Gate changes quite a bit, so I'll just script it out here..
This is the end of the Shamballa Prototype script; I hope you've enjoyed it and that it's deepened your appreciation of the series/movie. If you're just looking to hate on the old series some more by fuming at their characterization (presumably anything written in here would also be in character for the pre-existing cast despite changes in the final cut) or the story or the writing or the setting or anything else, then I hope you have all the fuel you need to rage.
Speaking of the writing, there are a lot of ellipses. Those aren't because I'm omitting anything. The script just makes heavy, heavy, heavy use of them in the dialogue and descriptions.
Cut line of Ed's when he's going through the Gate and the little black things are clinging; "Sorry... I don't got anything for you guysl!"
Eckart has a line as well: "Oh Demons of the Door, your powers, give them to me!"
In the original cut where they're flashing people responding to the Earthquake (Gracia, the Armstrong family, etc.), there are State Alchemists from the committee trying to fix tings quickly with alchemy, but it's not going well.
When Ed's going through the Gate, the black things clawing at him do get his automail hand.
The scene after Al says he just wanted to open the Gate changes quite a bit, so I'll just script it out here..
Al: I... I only... I only wanted to open the Gate!
Winry: Gate?
Sciezka: Uhm, maybe if we go investigate where that crash was, we'll find out something!
* * *
Ed and his rocket have fallen near the crumbled opera house. Al, Winry and Sciezka enter. But, the rocket is unmanned.
Winry: Al, what's this 'Gate'?" What does it have to do with Ed?
Al: O-over there...
Al points into the Opera House.
* * *
Al and co. enter the ruins of the Opera House. In mid-air floats a gate that calls Envy to mind. That Gate somehow seems to have features reminiscent of Wrath and Gluttony. Looking up at the gate, a human figure standsat Gate. Looking on... Al and Winry are speechless.
Sciezka: ... Eh?
That human figure approaches, and it's Ed.
Ed: This Gate... Did you make it, Al?
Al: ... Nii-san...
Winry: Ed!
Winry rushes over without a thought.
Winry: Ed! It's really Ed?!
Al is motionless, seeming lonely as he sees her like that.
Winry manhandles Ed.
Winry: Why are you here, where have you been, what the heck have you been doing, hey, have you grown, what are you wearing? Uwa, that's TERRIBLE automail! Just who made that for you? C'mon, answer me! Ne, ne, ne...*
Ed: Give me an opening to answer and I....
Ed says and... is surprised. Winry, who appeared to be smiling while manhandling him is... crying.
Ed: ... Winry...
Without thinking, he pats her on the head.
Al: Nii-san, welcome home.
Ed: Yeah.
Al: That thing earlier.. what... was it?
Ed: A weapon from that world.
Al: !
Ed: They came to attack this world. To use its power over there.
Al: I.. I did that.... *
Sciezka: Al-kun?
Al... suddenly runs off.
Feeling responsible, he can't stand to be there.
Soon he is completely gone.
Ed: ... Al!
*Al was feeling overwhelmed by the realization of the meaning of opening the Gate. In the final cut, we made Ed the reason that Al was able to realize that as we felt he reacted too sharply for something he was able to realize on his own.
Then we're back onto the final cut script for a bit, until Armstrong topples the Armor. As a former part of the former State Alchemist committee, there are other State Alchemists around on scene:
No real changes besides one of Ed's lines ("Yeah. It's your fault." just before the rest of his 'it's all our fault' monologue), one cut/shortened Al line (Al says he was going to transmute the Gate out of himself, "but Wrath..." and generally explaining to Ed what the audience knows about that) and two of Roy's lines changed when he meets them. Instead of saying "This is why I came," he says "You two, hurry and bring this to an end!."
Instead of Eckart's speech about fearing the other world, we get a pretty different take. I wonder if people would prefer the purely evil bitch or the evil Noah variant bitch?
From there the script goes the same as the final cut, Ed smirking, Al's armors surrounding her, etc. Ed clarifies a little more on why he has to go back (because the Gate has to be closed on that side), cut for time. Interestingly, Winry's line about Ed not letting her wait anymore isn't in the Prototype.
When Al pops out of the armor, there's a cut line by Ed: "I-idiot! Hurry, go back!" Al says "It's no use," then goes into his line about the Colonel destroying the Gate from that side. Lang's scene about going on making movies doesn't exist in the prototype. In the final cut the scene with Ed and Al has some extended lines (Al doesn't ask about the war, Ed brings it up on his own; Ed doesn't mention the bomb.)
After the shot of the photo of Ed and Al, this is the original ending scripted:
Special note 2: "Watching a movie talks about an hour to two hours out of a person's life. But if that's all the time it takes from a person's time, I personally believe there is little point. With that in mind, this time I thought in writing Fullmetal this time I'd like to make it a movie-like movie. When you finish viewing a movie, it shouldn't end with the viewers who return to reality going "Aah, that was fun!" There is no meaning to that, I think. From there on what kind of color does it leave on their world, I want to make it like a book that leaves something with you. I hope you will take this movie it an opportunity, to take interest in the various things the world has to offer..."
Winry: Gate?
Sciezka: Uhm, maybe if we go investigate where that crash was, we'll find out something!
* * *
Ed and his rocket have fallen near the crumbled opera house. Al, Winry and Sciezka enter. But, the rocket is unmanned.
Winry: Al, what's this 'Gate'?" What does it have to do with Ed?
Al: O-over there...
Al points into the Opera House.
* * *
Al and co. enter the ruins of the Opera House. In mid-air floats a gate that calls Envy to mind. That Gate somehow seems to have features reminiscent of Wrath and Gluttony. Looking up at the gate, a human figure standsat Gate. Looking on... Al and Winry are speechless.
Sciezka: ... Eh?
That human figure approaches, and it's Ed.
Ed: This Gate... Did you make it, Al?
Al: ... Nii-san...
Winry: Ed!
Winry rushes over without a thought.
Winry: Ed! It's really Ed?!
Al is motionless, seeming lonely as he sees her like that.
Winry manhandles Ed.
Winry: Why are you here, where have you been, what the heck have you been doing, hey, have you grown, what are you wearing? Uwa, that's TERRIBLE automail! Just who made that for you? C'mon, answer me! Ne, ne, ne...*
Ed: Give me an opening to answer and I....
Ed says and... is surprised. Winry, who appeared to be smiling while manhandling him is... crying.
Ed: ... Winry...
Without thinking, he pats her on the head.
Al: Nii-san, welcome home.
Ed: Yeah.
Al: That thing earlier.. what... was it?
Ed: A weapon from that world.
Al: !
Ed: They came to attack this world. To use its power over there.
Al: I.. I did that.... *
Sciezka: Al-kun?
Al... suddenly runs off.
Feeling responsible, he can't stand to be there.
Soon he is completely gone.
Ed: ... Al!
*Al was feeling overwhelmed by the realization of the meaning of opening the Gate. In the final cut, we made Ed the reason that Al was able to realize that as we felt he reacted too sharply for something he was able to realize on his own.
Then we're back onto the final cut script for a bit, until Armstrong topples the Armor. As a former part of the former State Alchemist committee, there are other State Alchemists around on scene:
Armstrong comes running onto the scene, but as soon as an escape route is made, the alchemists all flee.
Armstrong: (Shocked) Wh, what is this? Art thou not former State Alchemists? Where are you going?
Hawkeye: It is no use. Even if they are a part of the military, they are functionally scholars. They can't do something like this.
Falman: What on earth are they?
Armstrong: This armor resemble that which appeared in Liore, but...
Then back to the armor who almost attack them, with Roy's interruption. No changes, other than instead of Roy asking for something to handle higher up enemies, Armstrong says he will take the former State Alchemists to find something that they can make or use before heading off, leaving it to finish with Hawkeye the same way as in the final cut. Though this little sub-scene afterwards was cut:Armstrong: (Shocked) Wh, what is this? Art thou not former State Alchemists? Where are you going?
Hawkeye: It is no use. Even if they are a part of the military, they are functionally scholars. They can't do something like this.
Falman: What on earth are they?
Armstrong: This armor resemble that which appeared in Liore, but...
Combustible materials rain down from the sky. At those falling materials... Mustang snaps his fingers. The flames Mustang unleashes erupt in midair. Hawkeye provides cover for Mustang from behind.
Mustang: Whatever the enemy may be... it doesn't matter at all... I will move forward...
Hawkeye, happy.
Mustang: Whatever the enemy may be... it doesn't matter at all... I will move forward...
Hawkeye, happy.
No real changes besides one of Ed's lines ("Yeah. It's your fault." just before the rest of his 'it's all our fault' monologue), one cut/shortened Al line (Al says he was going to transmute the Gate out of himself, "but Wrath..." and generally explaining to Ed what the audience knows about that) and two of Roy's lines changed when he meets them. Instead of saying "This is why I came," he says "You two, hurry and bring this to an end!."
Instead of Eckart's speech about fearing the other world, we get a pretty different take. I wonder if people would prefer the purely evil bitch or the evil Noah variant bitch?
Transmutation arrays form one after the other in the air.
Eckart: Kh! What? Why has my magic been stopped...
And there are footsteps. Ed arrives.
Eckart: .... What a splendid world, is it not?
Ed: That right? There's no real difference. People live, cry, laugh... and die.
Eckart stiffens her posture and... suddenly, a battle array forms in the air. As she does, one of the armor surrounding Eckart change and move to attack Ed. Ed uses his right hand into a shield to block those attacks.
Ed: I've got one question. Why are you suddenly attacking this so-called "splendid world"?
Eckart: ...
Ed: Weren't you going to bring this world's alchemy to your side to support the Nazis? For war over there.
The two are mutually fighting each other with the armor. Eckart has the advantage.
Eckart: I will destroy this world... and own it.
Ed: For what...
Eckart: The conqueror of Shamballa is the conqueror of the world.
Ed: Really... You believe that?
Eckart: I... have been searching for it all my life. My Arcadia. A world I rule, the world of the power of God!
Ed: So you're the same.
Ed brushes Eckart aside.
Ed: No place is an Arcadia or a dream world! As long as you live there, it's all real!
Ed rushes forward.
Ed: As long as there are people there!
Ed viciously attacks Eckart. Eckart escapes. Eckart goes towards the interior Gate. There stand a row of armored soldiers.
Eckart: People love war. They don't even need a reason.
Eckart: Kh! What? Why has my magic been stopped...
And there are footsteps. Ed arrives.
Eckart: .... What a splendid world, is it not?
Ed: That right? There's no real difference. People live, cry, laugh... and die.
Eckart stiffens her posture and... suddenly, a battle array forms in the air. As she does, one of the armor surrounding Eckart change and move to attack Ed. Ed uses his right hand into a shield to block those attacks.
Ed: I've got one question. Why are you suddenly attacking this so-called "splendid world"?
Eckart: ...
Ed: Weren't you going to bring this world's alchemy to your side to support the Nazis? For war over there.
The two are mutually fighting each other with the armor. Eckart has the advantage.
Eckart: I will destroy this world... and own it.
Ed: For what...
Eckart: The conqueror of Shamballa is the conqueror of the world.
Ed: Really... You believe that?
Eckart: I... have been searching for it all my life. My Arcadia. A world I rule, the world of the power of God!
Ed: So you're the same.
Ed brushes Eckart aside.
Ed: No place is an Arcadia or a dream world! As long as you live there, it's all real!
Ed rushes forward.
Ed: As long as there are people there!
Ed viciously attacks Eckart. Eckart escapes. Eckart goes towards the interior Gate. There stand a row of armored soldiers.
Eckart: People love war. They don't even need a reason.
From there the script goes the same as the final cut, Ed smirking, Al's armors surrounding her, etc. Ed clarifies a little more on why he has to go back (because the Gate has to be closed on that side), cut for time. Interestingly, Winry's line about Ed not letting her wait anymore isn't in the Prototype.
When Al pops out of the armor, there's a cut line by Ed: "I-idiot! Hurry, go back!" Al says "It's no use," then goes into his line about the Colonel destroying the Gate from that side. Lang's scene about going on making movies doesn't exist in the prototype. In the final cut the scene with Ed and Al has some extended lines (Al doesn't ask about the war, Ed brings it up on his own; Ed doesn't mention the bomb.)
After the shot of the photo of Ed and Al, this is the original ending scripted:
As she helps her child take teetering steps, Roze whispers.
Roze: Stand and walk... Move forward...
The wagon rides on. Ed and Al ride in it.
We were incredibly unsure how to end it. In the prototype, it ends with Roze's line. But, it's abrupt, isn't it? With that said, there was something off about ending it on Ed's line too... In the end, like many things, I left some elements there for the director to decide on for me.
In two ending notes, Aikawa says, in summary (1) that this time the story he told with FMA had a main theme of the relationship people have with the world. We should take responsibility for the world we live in. People can't just reach one conclusion, confirm it fits and make as if that's the end of it,. They'll keep making mistakes. There's no human being who can always do the right thing. That goes for anime characters as well. He wished to include that obvious human trait in the characters.Roze: Stand and walk... Move forward...
The wagon rides on. Ed and Al ride in it.
We were incredibly unsure how to end it. In the prototype, it ends with Roze's line. But, it's abrupt, isn't it? With that said, there was something off about ending it on Ed's line too... In the end, like many things, I left some elements there for the director to decide on for me.
Special note 2: "Watching a movie talks about an hour to two hours out of a person's life. But if that's all the time it takes from a person's time, I personally believe there is little point. With that in mind, this time I thought in writing Fullmetal this time I'd like to make it a movie-like movie. When you finish viewing a movie, it shouldn't end with the viewers who return to reality going "Aah, that was fun!" There is no meaning to that, I think. From there on what kind of color does it leave on their world, I want to make it like a book that leaves something with you. I hope you will take this movie it an opportunity, to take interest in the various things the world has to offer..."