8D -- That's good to hear! My holiday was also great, though it wasn't summer holiday. Tropical countries which only have dry season and rainy season (or at least in my country's case) don't have seasonal holidays, which kinda sucks. Though considering that I'm at the end of semester, I have a very loose schedule at the moment because I've finished my exams. It's like a second holiday~ (though I'm now waiting for the results...)
My friends (two girls closest to me) are indeed perceptive, though I think that's partially because they're extroverts and are much more external focused. Not saying that introverts aren't perceptive, but in my case I'm just that helpless lol. For the life of me I don't notice things they (and everyone else) normally notice. Well, that's probably a price I had to pay in order to be so internally aware (not saying that it's healthy tho). The only thing I notice my friends generally don't is cats. You're right though, even if I'm internally aware, I don't always know how I present in front of people and their inputs are very valuable for my further introspections.
Well, wanting to express oneself but not being seen is sad, in my opinion. When you want to express yourself, don't you normally also want to be acknowledged/validated? Especially for Seishin, who all his life hides in isolation which is seriously eating him. Everyone around him cannot validate him, he cannot validate himself, so he'll unconsciously want some other groups to validate him. Human beings don't live alone, and we cannot. There'll always be part of us that wants others to agree with us, in order to validate us and forms a sense of group/community that way.
That's an interesting topic to discuss. I believe Sinnesspiel also once mentioned something similar, about Seishin's suicide attempt as his trying to break away from all his responsibilities -- something that has sustained Sotoba throughout generations, so in a way it's an attempt at rebellion. It's an attempt to disturb Sotoba's timeless balance. I agree that that's also why people around him ignore that, including his own parents and Toshio. Tied in with the fact that he started writing directly after his suicide attempt -- sounds like his trying to exist as his true self outside of Sotoba, while probably, at the same time, rebelling/further cutting his ties with Sotoba. The birth of new him will also mean the death of old him, and that's what Sotoba doesn't like. Sotoba -- his parents, Toshio, the villagers, will want the old him, the him that's a facade at most. So in a way, his being an author and publishing his stories probably also count as his continuing rebellion.
I wonder if Toshio not reading his works also reflects his not wanting to find out about Seishin's true self. Not going to lie, the real Seishin is someone Toshio thinks as, well, not good for Sotoba. Meaning, the real Seishin isn't exactly Seishin he wants there. Toshio, in a way is, lol, a slave for Sotoba so obviously he'll also want Seishin to keep at his duties and dedicate his life for Sotoba just like he does.
Not saying that them as village leaders is the only thing they are, but as adults, it's certainly a big thing that keep them together. They started their friendship as children who obviously didn't comprehend fully what it meant to be an Ozaki or a Muroi, but as adults, it's something they cannot simply throw aside. From Seishin's end it's a burden, emotional baggage, which probably is why he wants to separate himself from Toshio -- not Toshio as Toshio, but Toshio as an Ozaki. From Toshio's end however, as a very duty oriented person, he probably sees his being an Ozaki and Seishin being a Muroi as, in a way, wonderful thing. It's shared duties, them being the very main people who sustain the village they are born into. Sinnesspiel mentioned few times about how Toshio likes to brag about his being a doctor and Seishin being a monk, about them working together, and this is probably why. Their shared duties is something Toshio highly values, but for Seishin, it's something he detests. Not saying that Toshio is a bad person, rather, I think this is his way of showing affection for Seishin, by wanting Seishin to perform his duties, like an overly traditional father with his kid, or overly traditional husband with his wife. Does that mean Toshio doesn't love Seishin? No. I think the more he loves someone the more he'll expect from them, to the point it's restricting for someone like Seishin. (Just look at his attitude with his parents and Kyouko) Seishin however, is NOT on board with that. I love you too, Toshio, but just let me do what I want. For Seishin, people expecting a lot from him but not seeing whether he himself agrees with it or not is some kind of warped and selfish love (just like the case with his parents).
About Toshio and Seishin at their core; I think they recognize some, but not the rest. As the novel progresses I believe they'll come to notice more and more, however, and be forced to confront the sides of themselves they initially shy off from (Seishin being Seishin, Toshio being similar to his paents)
Re: 8D
My friends (two girls closest to me) are indeed perceptive, though I think that's partially because they're extroverts and are much more external focused. Not saying that introverts aren't perceptive, but in my case I'm just that helpless lol. For the life of me I don't notice things they (and everyone else) normally notice. Well, that's probably a price I had to pay in order to be so internally aware (not saying that it's healthy tho). The only thing I notice my friends generally don't is cats. You're right though, even if I'm internally aware, I don't always know how I present in front of people and their inputs are very valuable for my further introspections.
Well, wanting to express oneself but not being seen is sad, in my opinion. When you want to express yourself, don't you normally also want to be acknowledged/validated? Especially for Seishin, who all his life hides in isolation which is seriously eating him. Everyone around him cannot validate him, he cannot validate himself, so he'll unconsciously want some other groups to validate him. Human beings don't live alone, and we cannot. There'll always be part of us that wants others to agree with us, in order to validate us and forms a sense of group/community that way.
That's an interesting topic to discuss. I believe Sinnesspiel also once mentioned something similar, about Seishin's suicide attempt as his trying to break away from all his responsibilities -- something that has sustained Sotoba throughout generations, so in a way it's an attempt at rebellion. It's an attempt to disturb Sotoba's timeless balance. I agree that that's also why people around him ignore that, including his own parents and Toshio. Tied in with the fact that he started writing directly after his suicide attempt -- sounds like his trying to exist as his true self outside of Sotoba, while probably, at the same time, rebelling/further cutting his ties with Sotoba. The birth of new him will also mean the death of old him, and that's what Sotoba doesn't like. Sotoba -- his parents, Toshio, the villagers, will want the old him, the him that's a facade at most. So in a way, his being an author and publishing his stories probably also count as his continuing rebellion.
I wonder if Toshio not reading his works also reflects his not wanting to find out about Seishin's true self. Not going to lie, the real Seishin is someone Toshio thinks as, well, not good for Sotoba. Meaning, the real Seishin isn't exactly Seishin he wants there. Toshio, in a way is, lol, a slave for Sotoba so obviously he'll also want Seishin to keep at his duties and dedicate his life for Sotoba just like he does.
Not saying that them as village leaders is the only thing they are, but as adults, it's certainly a big thing that keep them together. They started their friendship as children who obviously didn't comprehend fully what it meant to be an Ozaki or a Muroi, but as adults, it's something they cannot simply throw aside. From Seishin's end it's a burden, emotional baggage, which probably is why he wants to separate himself from Toshio -- not Toshio as Toshio, but Toshio as an Ozaki. From Toshio's end however, as a very duty oriented person, he probably sees his being an Ozaki and Seishin being a Muroi as, in a way, wonderful thing. It's shared duties, them being the very main people who sustain the village they are born into. Sinnesspiel mentioned few times about how Toshio likes to brag about his being a doctor and Seishin being a monk, about them working together, and this is probably why. Their shared duties is something Toshio highly values, but for Seishin, it's something he detests. Not saying that Toshio is a bad person, rather, I think this is his way of showing affection for Seishin, by wanting Seishin to perform his duties, like an overly traditional father with his kid, or overly traditional husband with his wife. Does that mean Toshio doesn't love Seishin? No. I think the more he loves someone the more he'll expect from them, to the point it's restricting for someone like Seishin. (Just look at his attitude with his parents and Kyouko) Seishin however, is NOT on board with that. I love you too, Toshio, but just let me do what I want. For Seishin, people expecting a lot from him but not seeing whether he himself agrees with it or not is some kind of warped and selfish love (just like the case with his parents).
About Toshio and Seishin at their core; I think they recognize some, but not the rest. As the novel progresses I believe they'll come to notice more and more, however, and be forced to confront the sides of themselves they initially shy off from (Seishin being Seishin, Toshio being similar to his paents)