This is probably not your style, but I think you should relax a bit? 'Going by aims' is something good, but perhaps incorporating the whole process stuff will make it more enjoyable. Don't abandon the whole achievement thing if it's your style though. They say there are two types of authors -- the 'architect' and the 'gardener'? (this is from George R. R. Martin post on tumblr) you're probably more the 'architect' type, one who needs to construct the whole thing first before writing. The 'gardener' type is more the 'let it flow' type, or Seishin's style. Both are all good, it all returns to the individual anyway. What I'm saying is if you feel somehow pressured or discouraged, I think you can perhaps make some 'change' to your style, by incorporating things that make the whole thing more enjoyable, but don't completely throw your own style away? Because it's 'you', it's who you are, and I don't doubt it gives you enjoyment too. If going by achievement makes you feel good and gives you enjoyment, go for it! But if it makes you too worried about how it all turns out, then this side of the whole thing needs a little change. Perhaps listening to relaxing music can help, or going somewhere relaxing...
Haha, the problem is I'm not even the slightest bit hard on myself! I'm too lazy. I'm a person who's moved mainly by interest, but the problem is my interests can evaporate in mere minutes. When that happens, I'll move like a ghost. I really need to work on being more diligent. (what kind of a (med) student I am?) Interestingly, like you, I also seem to make more progress when studying at loud places. Preferably public places. The whole atmosphere just prompts me to make as much progress as I can manage. It's weird, but thinking that I can only be there at a few hours at most makes me more fired up. While being all alone, all relaxed, with my laptop nearby will kill my mood to get things done. Best of luck for you too!
If you're interested in going to med school, you should totally go for it! My lecturers often ask us students "what are you even here for?" because most of med students here (probably in other places too, haha) go to med schools not because they actually want to. And that's not really good. Interest will undoubtedly make people last a while, and why should you do something you don't want to do? You'll probably end up screwing med school anyway, like that. If you're only going for money, be a businessman. Doctors aren't as rich as them, they're just above average financially, and so on. There are indeed people who eventually find passion in medical professions even if at first they didn't, but med schools are just too demanding unless there's some degree of determination even if lacking interest.
In the end, everyone loses -- I think it just suits a work like Shiki very well. I actually don't really like sad endings, but perhaps like... define sad. If it means my favorite characters dying, it'll be downright frustrating to me even if I love serious and deep works which often include tragedy. Shiki isn't as distressing to me because Toshio and Seishin don't end up dying. (There's a time where I was Natsuno-biased and was saddened when he died, and glad when he came back -- but then my bias dissipated and then I was displeased because it was a bad move for the plot) but I think, for every survivor there's a sad and terrible future waiting. Probably true mercy will be death when the whole ordeal happened.
I think the households Ozaki and Muroi are meant to stand separate, and a marriage between their children will be unacceptable. Probably if both households have more than one child then it'll be considered, but if not, it's just not happening ever. Say if either Toshio or Seishin is a woman, and they end up getting married, the woman will need to change her surname and can no longer be a successor to the hospital/temple. And there's the rule of both households to find suitors for their heirs from outside Sotoba too. Both households have to stand separate so both the hospital and temple can go on.
According to Sinnesspiel, since one doesn't talk about suicide in Japan Takae will perhaps be more discreet about it. Not saying the word 'suicide' directly but perhaps she'll imply things and making references to rumors that have already spread, but Toshio will definitely be able to pick it up anyway. But since she completely ignores Seishin's existence she'll perhaps not bother with it largely, unless she's truly pissed off. About Toshio; he largely doesn't bother with anyone's private matters (now that I think about it, Seishin isn't special because I can picture him doing that to others too) and Seishin's suicide attempt is one thing he still can't understand anyway, so I don't think he'll confront Seishin about it. I think Seishin will prefer people to just lay the matter to rest because he himself doesn't understand why he did that, and so he'll also expect Toshio to. He's uncomfortable when a stranger (Sunako) points it out, so when people he knows also do that, he'll really not like it.
Speaking about relationships, I actually don't like fluff all that much but probably, remembering that Toshio and Seishin's fluffiness will not last makes me cherish it even more lol. I somehow want them to try to kill one another post-Shiki for a mere fact that Shikis and humans cannot coexist even if they don't actually hate each other. Or it could go even more 'distressing' given the nature of Shiki. If there's ever a sequel to Shiki though, I think it'll be unavoidable that now Seishin and Toshio will end up dying.
Actually, there's one scene of that-- looks like Seishin is indeed annoyed. Since Seishin writes for publication and all, logically he'll want to reach out to people, but perhaps the reaching out to people thing is more subconscious for him. He primarily writes because it gives him comfort, and like you said, to pour his heart out. Probably also a method of working on his issues.
Post-Shiki, I do imagine he'll want to read more of Seishin's works even if before he didn't really do that. Admittedly I don't think fantasy-supernatural genre is his thing at all (he'll probably prefer factual books ). He probably doesn't expect that Seishin will survive at all and I can just imagine his shock when finding out that 'Shiki' is out published, one thing I think that prompts him to buy it, among many. After that he'll probably try to get his other works if he can manage that.
Especially novel-related fanworks are... down to zero, perhaps. Collaboration is a nice idea. The novels definitely need more recognition.
8D
Haha, the problem is I'm not even the slightest bit hard on myself! I'm too lazy. I'm a person who's moved mainly by interest, but the problem is my interests can evaporate in mere minutes. When that happens, I'll move like a ghost. I really need to work on being more diligent. (what kind of a (med) student I am?) Interestingly, like you, I also seem to make more progress when studying at loud places. Preferably public places. The whole atmosphere just prompts me to make as much progress as I can manage. It's weird, but thinking that I can only be there at a few hours at most makes me more fired up. While being all alone, all relaxed, with my laptop nearby will kill my mood to get things done. Best of luck for you too!
If you're interested in going to med school, you should totally go for it! My lecturers often ask us students "what are you even here for?" because most of med students here (probably in other places too, haha) go to med schools not because they actually want to. And that's not really good. Interest will undoubtedly make people last a while, and why should you do something you don't want to do? You'll probably end up screwing med school anyway, like that. If you're only going for money, be a businessman. Doctors aren't as rich as them, they're just above average financially, and so on. There are indeed people who eventually find passion in medical professions even if at first they didn't, but med schools are just too demanding unless there's some degree of determination even if lacking interest.
In the end, everyone loses -- I think it just suits a work like Shiki very well. I actually don't really like sad endings, but perhaps like... define sad. If it means my favorite characters dying, it'll be downright frustrating to me even if I love serious and deep works which often include tragedy. Shiki isn't as distressing to me because Toshio and Seishin don't end up dying. (There's a time where I was Natsuno-biased and was saddened when he died, and glad when he came back -- but then my bias dissipated and then I was displeased because it was a bad move for the plot) but I think, for every survivor there's a sad and terrible future waiting. Probably true mercy will be death when the whole ordeal happened.
I think the households Ozaki and Muroi are meant to stand separate, and a marriage between their children will be unacceptable. Probably if both households have more than one child then it'll be considered, but if not, it's just not happening ever. Say if either Toshio or Seishin is a woman, and they end up getting married, the woman will need to change her surname and can no longer be a successor to the hospital/temple. And there's the rule of both households to find suitors for their heirs from outside Sotoba too. Both households have to stand separate so both the hospital and temple can go on.
According to Sinnesspiel, since one doesn't talk about suicide in Japan Takae will perhaps be more discreet about it. Not saying the word 'suicide' directly but perhaps she'll imply things and making references to rumors that have already spread, but Toshio will definitely be able to pick it up anyway. But since she completely ignores Seishin's existence she'll perhaps not bother with it largely, unless she's truly pissed off. About Toshio; he largely doesn't bother with anyone's private matters (now that I think about it, Seishin isn't special because I can picture him doing that to others too) and Seishin's suicide attempt is one thing he still can't understand anyway, so I don't think he'll confront Seishin about it. I think Seishin will prefer people to just lay the matter to rest because he himself doesn't understand why he did that, and so he'll also expect Toshio to. He's uncomfortable when a stranger (Sunako) points it out, so when people he knows also do that, he'll really not like it.
Speaking about relationships, I actually don't like fluff all that much but probably, remembering that Toshio and Seishin's fluffiness will not last makes me cherish it even more lol. I somehow want them to try to kill one another post-Shiki for a mere fact that Shikis and humans cannot coexist even if they don't actually hate each other. Or it could go even more 'distressing' given the nature of Shiki. If there's ever a sequel to Shiki though, I think it'll be unavoidable that now Seishin and Toshio will end up dying.
Actually, there's one scene of that-- looks like Seishin is indeed annoyed. Since Seishin writes for publication and all, logically he'll want to reach out to people, but perhaps the reaching out to people thing is more subconscious for him. He primarily writes because it gives him comfort, and like you said, to pour his heart out. Probably also a method of working on his issues.
Post-Shiki, I do imagine he'll want to read more of Seishin's works even if before he didn't really do that. Admittedly I don't think fantasy-supernatural genre is his thing at all (he'll probably prefer factual books ). He probably doesn't expect that Seishin will survive at all and I can just imagine his shock when finding out that 'Shiki' is out published, one thing I think that prompts him to buy it, among many. After that he'll probably try to get his other works if he can manage that.
Especially novel-related fanworks are... down to zero, perhaps. Collaboration is a nice idea. The novels definitely need more recognition.